Project Runway: S15 E2 "Just Fabulous!"

The early passages of Project Runway are often a mixed bag. For that matter, the same can be said for most reality TV series. At least when it comes to things like American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance, you've got an auditions phase during which you can get to know some of the contestants and pick early favorites. With PR, it all kind of just starts. You don't know who any of the contestants are, and they don't really know each other yet. And there are way too many of them to begin with. With too many contestants and not enough time to get all of their personalities on screen so you can make a judgement, you're usually left judging them based solely on their work. Which is just horrible for a Fashion show, I know.

And then an episode like "Just Fabulous!" comes along and the producers and editors try to sway you in one way or another. It's either a success or a failure, and which category it falls in often has to do with execution. "Just Fabulous!" introduces a villain and the notion of a rivalry in the workroom, but I'm not sure I think it does so well.

The episode starts with the news that Cornelius (young black guy with hipster glasses) was insulting Dexter's (other black guy with stupid haircut) look from the last episode. Rightfully so since it was hideous, but Dexter took offense. It's worth noting that all of this sniping took place off camera. Presumably, Cornelius had all these negative comments during the greenroom segment of last episode, and yet no one seemed to think it was important to capture this moment for posterity.

Either way, this news makes it back to Dexter, presumably through someone telling him what happened (again, Dexter finding out what was said behind his back isn't caught on camera), and he decides that he hates Cornelius who never has anything nice or positive to say about anyone. I'm not willing to claim that this isn't true. The moments we spend with Cornelius aren't exceptionally pleasant. But what he says mostly amounts to a young person holding himself to a higher standard because he came on this show to win. I'd say that I feel like we've seen meaner mean girls than this on the show before.

But on the other hand, perhaps what he's been saying off camera really has been so heinous and beyond the pale that he's really just the worst. The problem with that, as I'm sure you've already spotted, is that he's saying them off camera. So in the meantime, we're all just left with having to take everyone else's word for it that he's the monster they're making him out to be. Either way, this isn't really good storytelling.

The Challenge

This week is the Just Fab challenge which is...I'm honestly not too sure. The designers go out to a pier where they end up being confronted by a group of 100 "everyday women." These women are not their clients or the models, but they're certainly there. I guess to remind the designers what real women look like in case they've forgotten over the course of the one challenge where they designed something for a model. 

In actuality, their challenge is to design something for the Just Fab woman. Who is every woman, of every size, shape, and color. So they're final look has to fit their model, but also has to look as though it would be flattering on a non-model. It's versatile ready-to-wear which still has to be fashionable. And the winning look will be produced and sold on Just Fab. How hard can it be?

Oddly enough, not very hard at all based on Tim's visit. He has very little to say to any one contestant. Laurence has a lot of work to do to make her look into something that would be suitable for other body-types, but there's little doubt that she'll be able to pull it off. Kimber hasn't started sewing at all yet, but she assures Tim that the sewing will be the fastest part of all this. Tim tells Brik that he's trying to do too much and to scale his look down a bit, and he takes his advice. All in all, it's another ho-hum day in PR land. 

The Runway

 Laurence: A jumpsuit is never going to be my favorite, but I certainly see how they tend to blur the line between fashion and ready to wear. This look suits the challenge surely, and I think the pop of orange in the back makes it special, but I'm not in love with it.

Rik: I don't hate this, but I do think the pattern mixing gives me a bit of a headache. It's cute and chic, and I can't think of a moment were I've ever seen an outfit that looks like separates but is connected in the back. So that's special.

Alex: I hate the big bow on the front, but I love everything else. This woman looks smart and professional and well put together. She purple fabric seen through the sheer top is really eye-catching. And I love how he paired it with that bag. I wish the front were different, but I do love this look.

Jenni: Much like a jumpsuit, I'm not a huge fan of the drop crotch either. But there's something special and evocative about this. I think the bigger weakness of the outfit is the top and that bathroom rug treatment around the shoulders. It doesn't strike me that a bigger person could wear this, not at least without looking silly, but it's not a bad outfit.

Kimber: This outfit is cute, and I love the peak at the lining in the pockets, but this certainly could not be worn by a plus-sized woman. Or it could be, but I don't know many women of size who would want to wear it. The lack of sleeves and the key hole cut out in the back seem like automatic no's for most normal sized women. But maybe I'm wrong, or at least maybe it's cute enough to overcome those issues.

Linda: No!

Nathalia: I think I'm in love. I don't know that I think this is easily reproducible, but that's just a guess based on very little knowledge of clothes manufacturing. But it's still stunning. That jacket is out of this world. I like that she calls in androgynous because I think that's true and it's main selling feature. I'd like to see it with the jacket all the way off, but even with just the peak at the blue straps in the back, it's stunning. I love this.

Sarah: Cute, but boring.

Mah-Jing: I like this, but I think it's sold a little bit more off of the accessories than the dress itself. It's nice, but I didn't really have very strong emotions towards it until I saw how the clutch and shoes accented the orange stitching. The cut of the dress is nice, and everything about it is good, but the accessories are the only thing that made it really memorable.

Cornelius: I think this would be better with a different textile. The pattern on the top and the skirt don't really clash, but they also don't compliment each other in any way. The most interesting part of the outfit is that it's a hoodie, but you really couldn't know that until she turned around, and by then I was already against the look.

Tasha: I'm trying to decide if I love this or if I just love Tasha. This is another look that I don't think would sell well to a bigger woman because of the midriff exposure, and the sheer fabric that hangs down gives her the odd look of someone with a pouch or something. Honestly, I initially thought she was wearing a fanny pack or something. But even with that being said, I find this unique and charming and I like it.

Brik: While I certainly find this bland, I don't hate it. Also I think there's a problem on the butt with the pattern not matching up, right? Either way, Tim said to pair down the original concept and he did and ended up with this. Maybe he paired it down too much? I don't know. It's not great, but it's not ugly either. I agree with him that women would want to wear it, but when they did, I feel like they'd just blend into the background too much.

Dexter: Here's what I'll say about this, in the wake of last week, I'm happy to see that Dexter can do something simple and not too flashy or out there. But I can't really see someone as wanted to wear this. It's not the most unflattering thing ever, but it's just kind of there. It doesn't stand out and isn't as cute as the other jumpsuit we had on the runway tonight.

Roberi: Ok I guess. I like the jacket, but I can't say that I see much cohesion between the three pieces.

Erin: I can't tell if I love this but want to hate it or if I hate it and want to love it. I think I want something happening in the front to break up all that white, but at the same time, I get it. I do love the fabric though and I really want to touch this dress.

Judgement

Before we get there, this week sees the greenroom moment from Cornelius that I guess we needed last week, but again I say, did he say anything that was just horrible? He compliments Brik as a designer and a person, but rightfully points out that his pants are ill-made and unflattering. Is that so wrong?

Erin, Laurence, and Alex are in the top. Kimber, Brik, and Linda are in the bottom. It seems like the writing's on the wall that Brik after two challenges in the bottom is going home. Zac couldn't even muster a response to what he saw. Nina finds there to be too little personality in the whole thing. Guest judge Dobrev thinks it's business on top and couch party on the bottom, and that makes sense. This woman doesn't know who she is or what she wants, or at least Brik doesn't know who she is or what she wants. 

Linda is also slammed for her use of knit in the dress and the sheer sloppiness of the kimono styled jacket. I'm interested in the judge's point that this should have been her challenge, but I don't see why. Aside from the fact that she's an older, everyday woman. But that doesn't mean much. 

They do love Alex, Laurence, and Erin's looks though. Heidi points out that after two challenges, she feels like she knows who Erin is as a designer, and I can't help but to agree. The selling point on Erin's dress is the moment she belts it at the waist. I wish the model had done that on the runway (and during the closer look, Heidi says the same. Erin really thought about this challenge, and I'm impressed. 

Alex's point about making the top sheer so that his woman can add any color she wants under it was very smart. Heidi points out that not every woman can pull off that crop top look, and that's fair, but it's still stunning. The most telling comment might be Zac's when he points out that the bow on the blouse is something that's unoriginal, but it works so it's understandable to keep it. 

Apparently, the messy shredding nature of Linda's jacket is purposeful? I can't believe that. It's horrible. Heidi hates her look more than Brik's. I don't think Nina agrees. She hate's Brik, but thinks his is equally bad as Linda's. Heidi thinks that at least Brik's two pieces look well made, which is more than we can say for Linda. It's interesting to me the way Heidi's going to bat for Brik. Two weeks in the bottom two seems like a good enough reason to go home. 

In the end, Laurence gets the win over Erin which is interesting to me. I wonder if the ease of reproduction of Laurence's look puts her over the top because I do think Erin's look was better. Or maybe they didn't want to give her two wins in a row? Either way, that's the outcome. Laurance's nonchalance over winning is funny though. 

Linda actually does go home instead of Brik. This has got to do with Heidi's championing for him because I can't see much of a reason to keep him around. Linda stumbled this go around, and it's not that her look last week was very good either, but still. Brik needs a total rethink on what he's doing if he has any hope of sticking around much longer. 

Loose Threads

--Earlier in the episode Linda gets a little spotlight talking about her past and her kids. She says she wants to win this for her daughters. I guess her son can go get fucked. 

--The more effective spotlight was placed on Laurence talking about how her father abandoned her when she got pregnant as a teenager. It was very emotional, evocative, and told us a lot about her that felt unique. We get a lot of "I love my kids" stuff on PR, but nothing this personal and real life. 

Project Runway Junior: S1 E2 "An Unconventional Carwash"

After two episodes, I can't tell if I think PR JR is finding a rhythm or if I think I'm becoming used to its hectic fast pace. In a lot of ways, I think PR JR is a purer more distilled version of it's senior partner. There's significantly less product placement and wasteful filler interludes. Gone are the extended hair and makeup consultations for every designer. Gone are the long scenes of designers eating lunch so we can make sure the sponsor's fridge is somewhere in the frame. And since the kids are all adorable and seem to love each other with the reckless abandon that only kids tend to find in these cases, gone is the silly manufactured drama and squabbles that tend to crop up. At least that's the case so far, maybe after teams are formed next episode we'll be seeing a different side of everyone. But for now, PR JR is relying on the genuine wonder and talent of these young contestants (and a very natural and organic kind of pathos that comes of simply working with young people) in a way that makes me feel like this is PR at it's best. The scant amount of time we get to spend with Tim's visits and on the runway not withstanding.

This week's challenge hits the ground running with the contestants being told to get ready for a limo ride the following morning. No telling where, or for what, but everyone gets dolled up for a fun and unique experience. And here's the wonder I mentioned before. These kids are honestly excited and interested in being in this large limo. And that's without the aspect of a limo that we adults like most: getting wasted while someone else drives you around! There's a fun and a beauty in watching them get wide eyed at something as simple as being in a limo. It's a reaction that extends to them going through a carwash, and admittedly that can feel a bit put on in ways, but still. They're cute and precocious, and it seems like the producers understand that that fact alone is enough to carry a portion of an episode. I enjoy it.

Thus begins the group's first unconventional material's challenge. It's a PR staple, but something about it feels all the more daunting because you just know that it's going to be so far outside of these kid's wheelhouses. Granted, I don't think contestants on PR Senior spend much time working with Hallmark Greeting Cards, or Outdated Technology Hardware, but you tend to assume that they've worked with multiple different kinds of fabric and materials in their time and they have years of experience and creativity under their belts. So you assume a PR contestant should be prepared for anything that gets thrown at them while maybe a 15 year old will be significantly more out of their depth. Either way, they have a small span of time to grab as much stuff from the car wash as they can and then just create a look from it. It's pretty standard, and for all of the "I want to grab stuff so no one else can" talk, the materials snatch is pretty simple and everyone seems to leave with much of what they wanted.

In the workroom, my concerns about everyone being out of their depth came up again as we see a lot of people creating looks that mostly consist of materials being glued to the muslin base. It's something that maybe we can give these kids a pass on, and the looks they end up with are still pretty stellar, but it's something that could never fly on Project Runway.

Tim doesn't mention it on his visit, which suggests that it's something they're more than willing to overlook here. Instead, Tim steps into his role as mentor in a way that I feel like we rarely saw him do in this last season of PR. When he meets with Bridget, it's clear that both he and her have reservations about her look. Tim expresses them, but then after a commercial break is quick to offer the kind of guidance and advice that pulls her look together and gives her a path forward with it. Same goes for him telling Matt to cut the tubing he's using for his skirt in order to make it more cooperative.

The next big event is of course the model fitting, and I have to say I was very unimpressed with seeing these looks on the models. There were still a couple hours left in the challenge, and clearly the time they'd have before the runway, but everything we saw being fitted seemed to be horribly underdone. Samantha's dress was a good idea, but the way the orange crept up onto the shoulders made it look like she was wearing an orange cape. Of everything we see during the fitting, Jesse's is the only one close to being worth it. Which leaves us in a position where they'll all have to pull it together and in some cases (such as Jaxson's) actually finish their looks before the runway.

The Runway:

Zachery: On the one hand, this is just pinwheels glued onto a muslin base, so I don’t want to get too excited over it, but it’s also really freaking gorgeous. The movement is nice, the use of the floor mats is really intelligent and well done, and the color on the top pairs well with the silver and black of the skirt. 

Peytie: Kelly’s reaction to seeing this walk is close to my reaction too. That movement is stunning, and the top is so well made and intricately wrought that you can’t help but to be wowed by it. I do think the top is better than the bottom which she clearly didn’t have time for and amounts to little more than mops hanging from the model’s waist, but still. The two of them together work. It’s enough to make you wish she had a little more time for the bottom. 

Victoria: There’s something about this the moment it turns the corner that’s stunning. I think the black and blue go super well together, I love the length of the skirt, and I love what the belt (tie?) is doing in the back. I do not, however, like the cut of the bust. The material she used is unforgiving, and so I think on the top, less would have been more. Maybe a V neck kind of cut would have hidden the inflexibility of the material more? Or at least it would have been sexier. But still I like this more than I dislike it. 

Ysabel: The first thing I notice as she’s walking is the way the back of the skirt flares out like a little ducktail. It’s horribly distracting, and the rest of the look is seriously unflattering. Her materials are not the best, but even so, the color combination strikes an odd note to me, and the top isn’t something anyone would want to wear. This look is neither wearable nor fashionable.

Bridget: I honestly love this. Not so much the red, white, and blue color scheme, but I like the tiled top a lot, and I think the skirt is cute when you ignore the way the material stiffens and doesn’t really move properly. But I find that to be a material problem and not a construction problem, so there’s no big deal there. I like the black tiles on the back of the top, but the back of the skirt is a bit of a problem. Too much muslin showing through. 

Maya: I think I want to like the cut of the top more than I actually do. But I also don’t think it detracts from the rest of the look at all. The skirt is fun and really fabulous. Maybe a little too short? But I don’t mind it. And I do think the stark contrast of the business of the skirt and the simpleness of the top works very well. So I’m a fan. Maybe pair it with a necklace? (Addendum: I didn't see the back of it when I watched the episode, because again they aren't showing the looks turning around on the runway, but having seen it now I can say it makes me like the top a lot more!)

Matt: She can’t walk in it, and the back of the skirt where you can see so much muslin is really bad. With that being said, I like the top. You can tell he thought about this and had a plan and then the materials didn’t behave like he thought they would. 

Jaxson: I love him, but this is a miss for me. The skirt I like a lot, and the top I think could have worked if it weren’t so ambitious, but as is I’m not impressed. The top just looks messy and haphazard. If he got rid of the strips hanging down, it would be a lot better, but it doesn’t look purposeful. The shorts are cute though. 

Zach: I like this. It’s a massive improvement from his previous look. And this is one of the few that doesn’t seem to have relied too heavily on a muslin base, which I’ll always appreciate. I also think the necklace he chose was 100% the way to go, so great styling. I could do without the clutch, but I’m generally not a fan of clutches so hey. 

Samantha: I like this mostly because I think it’s a vast improvement over what we saw during the model fitting. Scaling the shoulder’s back the way she did was the right way to go. I still think bringing the orange around makes it look a bit like she’s wearing an orange cape from the front, but the mostly monochrome front paired with the color blocked back is a win for me. The specific colors she chose go wonderfully together.

Jesse: Sheer perfection. Constructed well, the key chain bits on the arm add movement that attracts the eye, and you can tell that the placement of each of the colors is well thought out. And that’s not even to mention the beauty of the rest of the outfit. That open back! Oh man! I love everything about this.

The judges are so impressed that they say there are four tops (Peytie, Samantha, Zachery, and Jesse) and only two bottoms (Matt and Ysabel). Typically when this happens it's easy to see where there's at least one look in the top that they are just lukewarm about and could probably have been safe in favor of putting another look in the bottom. But here, I don't think that's the case. The judges honestly have solid compliments for all of the top designers and really it would be hard to pick one of the safe looks that would be honestly deserving of bottom three honors. To be fair, once the closer looks happen, it's clear that the win is between Zachery and Jesse, so the stratification of this episode is really just about two really bad looks, two really great looks, and a bunch of looks that are mostly in the middle. 

In the end, Zachery wins, which I can understand but I also think Jesse's look is overall better than Zachery's, and Ysabel loses. It's this decision that brings in the natural pathos I was talking about earlier. These kids have honestly connected in a way that their adult counterparts tend not to. We've seen friendships develop on this show before, and even outpouring of emotions over a designer getting sent home (who can forget Jeffery Sebelia crying when his friend was auf'd?), but there's something about it here that's heightened. And it's clear that some large part of this is because everything is heightened when you're a teenage, but also because you can think of these relationships a lot like summer camp relationships. These kids met and within a day or two became really good friends because that's what kids do. Anyone who's spent any kind of time around young people, or who remembers being a young person themselves, knows that this is the case. And these relationships hit hard and come on fast. 

But there's another part of it as well: Ysabel mentions in her last confessional that she's said to being going back home because there it's just her and her sewing machine, but here she got to be surrounded by a group of cool and likeminded peers. This is an experience that most of these kids have never had before. They're passion isn't the passion of their contemporaries. Even amongst other young artists, their interests are probably unique. It's been a long time since I was in high school, but my guess is that kids who are into painting, drawing, photography, or sculpting will easily be able to find people at their schools who are into the same, and even clubs that cater to those interests, but will the kids who are into fashion design? And so we see that this is important to these contestants in a way that it doesn't often feel like it's important to the adults on Project Runway. There's a good chance that most of the people on PR have already gone to design school, or fell in with a crowd of likeminded people when they were in their 20s or so. This is the first such experience for these contestants and so when someone goes home and everyone cries and hugs them goodbye, it feels genuine and we understand it in a way that I haven't felt it in the other show. On the one hand this could get taxing after too long; someone should be going home each week until we've got a final three or four finalists. But on the other hand, PR JR brings an emotion and a pathos that PR has long been lacking in its dealings with jaded, cynical, and overly competitive adults, and that's enough to set it apart in a good way. 

Loose Threads:

--Jesse’s statements in the carwash about how the other kids need to get a grip were pretty on point really. 

--One other aspect of Ysabel going home that hurts so much is just how kind and perky and just all around good she is. She was smiling and happy throughout her critique and just a ball of sunshine, and seeing her face crumple as she falls into tears upon hearing that she's out was just heartbreaking. 

--Also in the great personality category is Samantha. She's so personable and quirky when they come to her on the runway that it brought a smile to my face. That girl is going to go far in life and hopefully this competition. 

--It's only been two episodes but I'm still wondering about the overall collection of talent here. Don't get me wrong, I think all of these kids are good; as evidenced by two weeks of pretty glowing reviews on their final looks. But I'm wondering if it isn't that a select few (Samantha, Jaxson, Jesse, Maya, and Zachery) aren't lightyears ahead of the rest of the pack. 

--Though to be fair, Jaxson's stumble here might call into question his placement on this list. I think he was just a bit too ambitious, and I do think it would have been great if he'd been able to finish it all properly, but I think the others have been more consistently good through this small sampling. 

--In keeping with my comments about how close these kids are, Maya finishes her look early and offers to help Jaxson finish his as well. It's adorable! Zach points out that he wasn't going to help because it's a competition, and his points aren't incorrect, and they're what we'd expect to hear from an adult on the other show, but something about them here felt discordant to me. Maya's far more the example I'd like others to follow since it gives me a higher esteem for this show than for PR.

--Sorry for the extreme delay in getting this up, the truth is I totally forgot it was even on last Thursday, and by the time I remembered it this week, I was already busy with holiday plans and such. But here, my Thanksgiving gift to you. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

Project Runway: S14 E2: "It's All in the Cards"

I'll start this recap off with a question: If you were a producer on Project Runway's 14th season, would you try to edit the show on an episode to episode basis or try to craft some kind of season long edit that worked week in and week out? New York Fashion week isn't until the beginning of September, so they don't know who's won this season yet, but they surely know who's in the finale by now. That's not to say that you'd want to craft the season in such a manner that leads people to guess who makes it to the end as early as the beginning, but maybe you could look at the footage ahead of time and decide on an edit for the first episode that might have some bearing on the second? This is brought to the forefront of my mind in this episode for two reasons: 1) the episode is pretty boring and predictable and left me with a lot of room to think about stuff other than what happens on the screen. 2) Merline doesn't seem to be nearly as loud and annoying this week as she was last week. Is it just an off day for her, so she's more reserved, or was what we saw of her last week more about first day jitters than actual personality traits? If the latter, then was the edit of the episode wrong, or was my interpretation of the visual information just wrong? I guess only time will tell, and if Merline is back to being her chatty and annoying self by next week, then this whole paragraph is for nothing. But still; after 14 seasons, it's pretty clear that Project Runway edits on a week to week basis, and I'm not sure if that's a strength or a weakness.

This week offers us the first unconventional materials challenge with the contestants going to Hallmark and making outfits out of greeting cards. At this point, I feel like paper is the standard unconventional material for PR challenges, so the fact that these are hard card stock with stupid, I mean sentimental, images and sayings on them didn't do enough to make this challenge feel interesting or exciting. Swapnill, however is every excited to be in a Hallmark store which either means that his New York tourist experience has very different stops on it than mine would, or that Hallmark is much bigger over in India than I ever imagined.

After they leave the store a mess for the underpaid, unappreciated workers to clean up and set right again, it's back to the workroom to start coming up with ideas. A lot of trading of cards and offering of certain kinds of help happens here and it becomes clear that they all really like each other. Or well, mostly at least. Edmond makes a big deal about pretending to not have any ideas because he's worried his ideas will inspire someone else. It's stupid, but it's certainly one way to go. Here's the thing, I love Project Runway, but let's not pretend like this game is on the level of something like Survivor. Strategy doesn't really play a part in what goes on on this show, and pretending like it does gives it a level of complexity that it doesn't really deserve. But that's neither here nor there.

The biggest thing to happen during the workroom segment is that Blake shows himself to be even more of a stereotypical young gay boy by being racist towards Swapnil and playing it off like his annoying qualities are actually cute. The problem with Blake is that he's not smart or interesting enough for a full on Villain edit, but he's just young, stupid, and self-centered enough with just the right amount of privilege to make him an asshole. So he's honestly a bad person, but he's not the kind of bad person that will make for interesting TV (think previous contestants like Jeffrey Sebelia or Irina). So we're just stuck with him until the judges get bored enough with his cliche aesthetic and send him home.

To Swapnil's credit, he handles the situation well, and the rest of the designers seem to be appropriately annoyed and disgusted by Blake's remark, but that's pretty much the last we hear about it. Blake could have earned a lot of capital with me if he'd had the slightest bit of self-awareness and apologized for what he said, but if that happened at all, we didn't see it, and I'm back to thinking he can go fuck himself.

The most obvious edit for the episode is David's swan song. In my notes, I wrote that he was pretty much either going home this week or he was going to win, but I was leaning towards going home. He got a teary conversation with his husband, a reaming by Tim Gunn during his visit, and then totally scrapped and remade his look all in the course of a few minutes. Couple that with his confidence in what he made in spite of how obviously it didn't fit the challenge and you've got How To Be A PR Loser 101. After 14 seasons, it's sad to me that PR hasn't quiet figured out how to make these things a bit more seamless and mysterious, but I guess there's something to be said for consistency.

Before we move past the lackluster middle portion of the episode and jump to the runway, I do want to take a moment and talk about Tim Gunn. His visit is about as stock as you'd expect and doesn't add much to the episode as a whole, but it left me wondering a bit about how his role as mentor is at odds with the show’s need for him to manufacture drama. There are two moments in his meeting with the designers where the things he says, or at least the things we see him saying, are more about adding drama and cringing drums of doom to everything than they're about actually trying to help or offer some kind of construction to the proceedings. When he talks to David, he insults his look in every way imaginable, but did he ever once give him a single suggestion on how to fix it or what direction to go in? He calls back to him as if in an afterthought that he shouldn't forget who he is as a designer, but what does that even mean?

Likewise in his meeting with Amanda he offers increasingly panicked and grave pronouncements about the fact that she doesn't have a skirt for her look yet, but no real help beyond telling her she doesn't have much time left as if she doesn't know how to tell time. I love Tim Gunn forever, of course, but if his sole purpose is to come up with ever more colorful adjectives to explain how bad the bad designs are, then maybe "mentor" isn't actually the best title for him anymore. On to the runway.

The Runway:

Swapnil: Cute. I think there’s a skill and sophistication to it that I like. And I appreciated how fun and playful the bottom was matched with how sophisticated the top is. It's possible the judges will think there's too much going on, but I think it blends together well. 

Ashley: What the everloving fuck? No! I just want to shake a roll of pennies at it. No!

Joseph: That’s hideous and very crafty. The construction of the skirt is all wrong, and the top is boring. I can’t believe he stands by this on the runway. 

David: It’s cute though I think it’s a little pancho-y. Which is bothersome. But of course the other problem is that it doesn’t embody the challenge at all. It’s cute, but he could go home for that. 

Jake: I respect that he stuck with his materials and what not after Tim’s visit. The sparkle of it stops it from looking too much like roof shingles, and ultimately I think it’s cute, if a bit simple. 

Candice: She set out to do something specific and she did it. I can respect that very much. It’s a nice look. It doesn’t appeal to me on a personal level, but I certainly can see and appreciate her vision. 

Han: If it moved more, I’d like it more. It looks like she stuck her model in a paper sack. And she keeps using the word young to describe her looks and I’m honestly starting to question if she actually knows what that word means. 

Gabrielle: Oh no! I thought she was going to go for a kind of ombre effect from the shoulder down across the diagonal of the dress. But instead she put that hideous looking thing in the center, and I think Ashley’s claim of vagina is right. I hate it. It feels like a solid idea gone horribly wrong. 

Laurie: I like it. Don’t really love it, but I like it. 

Blake: The truth is I don’t hate it. I don’t like it, but I also don’t hate it. For a dress that he just glued a lot of glitter onto, it’s fine. Very sparkly, but not as busy and distracting as his last look. He still needs to know when to edit and tone it down, and it also doesn’t feel like much of the point of the challenge is in here, but I don’t think it’s the worst thing we’ve seen so far. 

Lindsey: hm…… OK I guess. There are things about it that catch my eye and I like, and then things that just bore me. I find the front boring, and the weird scarf thing to be out of place and off putting, but the back is cute. 

Kelly: I’m digging it even though the cutout on the front reminds me a bit much of like the Power Rangers or something. In fact, all of it feels a bit Power Ranger-y to me. But I like it. I think the hood on the back of the top really makes it into something special. The skirt I could take or leave. 

Amanda: The really striking and pretty top is totally undone by that horribly skirt. Everything about it from the construction to the patterns in the cards she chose just don’t work. I wish she could have had more than just the one good idea. 

Merline: No!

Edmond: I like it a lot. There are some kind of leaves or petals on the skirt that look like tape to me and they are distracting, but other than that it's a really strong look made all the more strong by the fact that it’s just paper. 

Heidi says that they have four top looks and two bottom looks this time. Swapnil, Edmond, Blake, and Kelly all get top honors while David and Amanda are in the bottom. Though, given the reactions to Kelly's look, I think it's safer to say she's in the middle and could have been replaced with another bottom look such as Joseph or Gabrielle's. Ashley is called out for there being too much muslin on her dress, but I can't help but to think that if that's Heidi's only complaint about that paper-potato-sack of a dress, then she needs to try harder. 

The judge's Q&A is simple and lackluster just like the rest of the episode. It's pretty obvious from everything they're saying that the winner is between Swapnil and Edmond, and maybe instead of four top looks they could have gone with two tops and two bottoms and called it a day. They have nice things to say about Blake and Kelly, but it's so obvious neither of them are going to win that I don't see the point in them being there. They are, however, oddly complimentary towards David's look, Zac goes so far as to suggest it'd be a top look if he'd only used the cards for the body of it instead of fabric, while only having nice things to say about Amanda's top while then ripping her dress to shreds. It's an interesting dilemma having to choose between the girl with the ugly and poorly constructed look and the guy whose look is nice but doesn't embody the challenge at all. It's a question I never really have a consistent answer for. I generally am more interested in the show finding someone capable of thinking up great designs than I am someone who can follow instructions properly, but that's not to say that following instructions isn't important either. 

In the end, Edmond wins and David goes home and there's no real complaint to be made about either choice. It's all a simple and straight forward episode of the show. A bit boring and predictable, but at least not as bad as we've seen it be in the past. The struggle PR has currently and for the foreseeable future is in crafting drama without casting contestants who do nothing but yell, fight, and throw shade at the judges every time they get a negative critique. The truth is after only two episodes, I'm not sure how to suggest they go about doing that. We don't care enough about anyone one way or another to really care about who goes home week to week, so they're really at the mercy of their contestants. And while I'll take a season with less aimless fighting and yelling than the one we had two years ago, I also think a bit more personality than we've got this year is in order too.

Loose Threads:

--Links to photos of each dress will be coming when Lifetime finally puts them up on their website. but as it's already past midnight and I have to be at work in the morning, I'm not willing to wait around for it. 

--In honor of Blake's racist bullshit, I would like to say that if I ever hear the phrase "I just don't have a filter," or "I just say what other people are thinking," again, I'm going to lose it. I know he doesn't say the second one, but I think they go in the same ball park and I hate them both. Why should not thinking before you speak be commended? Esp when the things you say after not thinking are racist and stupid. If someone and responded to his "I don't speak Indian" comment with "Oh that's ok, I don't speak Fag, so I can't understand you most of the time either," would he have found that as cute as what he said? What a fucking asshole!

--I meant to mention this last week with some of Han's scenes, but shows offering subtitles when a contestant is speaking English really fucking annoys me. They might have thick accents, but at no time have I found it so hard to understand what David, Swapnil, or Han are saying that I need subtitles. And guess what, if you do need subtitles, it's 2015 and all TVs had a closed caption option. I find the subtitles to be just as demeaning as what Blake said. 

--Lindsey’s hope that the unconventional materials challenge would come later in the season makes me think she’s never watched the show before. Has there ever been a season where there wasn't an unconventional materials challenge in the first few episodes?

--Did anyone else notice that it looked like one of Kelly's tattoos was being blurred out? It's on her forearm, and I think it was during her meeting with Tim that something looked smudged in that area. I could have just been seeing things, but that's at least what it looked like to me. I wonder if it's just a personal thing or if it's something offensive, or too adult to get by the censors.

--The edit of Amanda’s Glitter rant followed by the close up of her pro-glitter shirt was great. 

--Anyone catching the Lifetime commercials? If so, who was really waiting for the Full House introspective that they've been pimping so hard? I mean really, is this a story that needs to be told? 

Project Runway All Stars S4 E2: "The Art of Construction"

By the end of this episode, we will see some of the lowest moments of Project Runway. Lower than fawning over a Samsung refrigerator. This is right up there with Red Robin's remake an ugly suit challenge where we didn't even get to watch the designers run over and strip the models. And, yet, this season of All Stars is running almost like Bravo-era Project Runway.

This week is the much vaunted and feared Unconventional Challenge. We know its both vaunted and feared because Alyssa Milano tells us so, continuing Project Runway's running theme of celebrating themselves to the audience already watching^{RO 2}. Alyssa then runs through a bunch of previous unconventional challenges this year's All Stars had done, just in case you cared or forgot.

Construction is this week's theme, introduced by some B-roll of NYC construction workers^{RO 3}. The construction site the designers are visiting is a warehouse stage used in Fashion week, with a bunch of construction site things sitting around, including a No Cell Phone sign and a couple of lumbersexual models wearing helmets and vests. Alyssa tells the designers they can strip the models, but then corrects herself that the can take the protective gear. So, no real taking of clothing. Dammit, Lifetime.

Today's goal is to make the "masculine" materials into the most "feminine" outfit possible. Thus bringing into question the gender construct reinforcement of Project Runway. Society has deemed that construction work is not feminine and that sexy, curve fitting, clothing is feminine. By reappropriating construction materials for a feminine outfit, one could easily argue that Lifetime and Project Runway are making a political statement about women just playing dressup in order to participate in masculine behaviors such as construction. Or, that women shouldn't play with boys things because femininity. Either way, we're getting the social binaries completely reinforced with this episode, and we didn't even see any naked mens.

The usual rush for materials that comes with the unconventional challenge comes with an opportunity for the producers to try to create drama, but what it really does is mark Alexandria as either winner or loser. Alexandria goes all aggressive, has her back story (Camp Couture) reaffirmed, and she says she's still bitter about her previous loss. Be wary of her bitterness and aggression going into her dress.

The actual drama comes from Chris March and Dimitry. Chris starts on making a rope halter top, when Dimitry works on a rope dress. Chris's halter is unflattering and unimaginative in its construction from the start, while Dimitry is creating swirls, cups, and accentuating the female form with his. Chris gets bitter and starts bitching about how Dimitry steals his look, but doesn't actually do anything about it.

As per the rules of the unconventional materials challenge, there is a fair amount of struggle in figuring out how to make the materials into fabric. There is a fair amount of trying to manipulate tarp as if they're using cotton (Jay, Alexandria), and also the usual hot gluing materials onto muslin. The most successful of the designers use the material to create an illusion of fabric, while the least successful are the ones who can't think outside of the fabric box.

Last week, I didn't get to note how much I love Zanna Roberts Rassi. Much like I think All Stars' judging is more honest and compelling than Original Flavor, but I am getting to love Rassi even more than Tim Gunn (though I still think that Joanna Coles, the Ice Princess, was a great mentor). Zanna comes in and rips apart outfits with single words. She tells Portland, "Doesn't that feel a bit...sporty?" By which she means, "off the rack." But, Portland hears "sporty" as "sporty" and ignores her. She also constantly drills the idea of "feminine" into the designers. Rassi hits a lot of the correct criticisms, but people don't listen. The big problem is that she doesn't finish her mentoring until 7:30 (see the clock over her shoulder), and they only work until 10. How can you change your direction if you don't get a second eye until most of the way into the day? I thought I remembered Coles being done with her mentoring by like 5:30, giving them half the day.

Soon enough it's runway. Here is the main problem with modern day Project Runway. The main guest judges are fucking Snooki and J-Woww, aka Jersey Shore. Their 15 minutes should have been up years ago, and their ratings are down, but Lifetime insists on foisting them upon us. In the meantime, the other guest judge (yes, there were three guest judges this week) was the always insightful Elie Tahari. Elie Tahari is given the back seat for the Jersey Shore judges. If this doesn't encapsulate the problems with Project Runway, I don't know what does.

Runway

• Jay - Here is an example of tarp being used as fabric. The silhouette is great, and what he did with the fraying is fantastic. But, it looks like tarp and nails. It feels like a costume more than fashion. The other bad thing is that Jay's styling is awful. The models hair and makeup don't scream strong warrior. And, the shoes don't really go well. For such a look, Jay needs to step up his styling.
• Fabio - GORGEOUS. I mean, sure this is made from twine, but he quilted his own fabric. Like Jay, however, his styling is awful. This is practically a raver outfit, and the model looks like she stepped out for a quick run to the grocery store. The outfit is so strong it just needs finishing touches. But, it is totally Fabio, and it looks like it would belong in his Final collection.
• Kate - She uses her materials to create the illusion of fabric. She uses pieces of plastic to create the illusion of having a white fluffy dress and netting to create the illusion of lace. The challenge is all about illusion and Kate nails it. 
• Alexandria - Tarp used as fabric. It looks like tarp. The fencing looks like fencing. The trash bag underneath the fence looks like a trash bag. Plus, it's practically a high class hooker outfit, especially with the over the top jewels. The hair didn't help reduce the 80s vibe.
• Portland - I would love this if it weren't so ugly. It's a sporty off the rack dress that has hideous colors. I love the graphic element, but think the color choices are atrocious.
• Helen - It's hot glued, but it looks like fabric. It doesn't look like the material, but it doesn't stop me from thinking that it's just hot glued pieces onto fabric. It does look like its from a 90s video game though.
• Benjamin - Drop Cloth used to create the illusion of fabric. It's kind of elegant and classy. I'm not sure about the party fringe on top, which was the unusual material (because a drop cloth dress would be against the spirit of the challenge). 
• Deathrage - Tarp used as fabric. Here it works, for some reason. I actually loved this look, but it feels like the wrong challenge. They wanted something feminine and fashonable, and he gave them something that would be for the pop diva challenge. When he says he could see Beyonce in it, he means on stage not on the runway or red carpet.
• Egg - I love the top. It feels like the ridiculous runway fashions that get put out year after year. But, the skirt is a snoozefest. Construction vest used as fabric? Zzzzzzzzz.
• Dmitry - This walks the line between high fashion and eurotrash. The top is kind of fashionable, but the number of ropes (or lack there of) makes it fall straight into the eurotrash. And, the slicked back hair with the red lips doesn't help it at all. Plus, the back is a total trainwreck.
• Chris - But, Chris' is just lazy. Other than removing the zip ties, I don't think he did anything more with the top since he started bitching about Dmitry's design. And, the bottom is just lazy. This is a pure amateur hour shitshow. And, as much as I love Chris, he should have gone home for this shit.
• Sonjia - A woman was attacked by tape. 
• Justin - This is a total Monet. From afar it is glittery and pretty. Up close, it's kind of dull and ugly. I don't respond to it like everybody else, I think because the cameras are too close to it. It looks like a bunch of zip ties that doesn't fall into an illusion for me. I'm not sure I get it.

The judging here isn't as trainwrecky as one would expect with the judges, but the fact that Elie gets a backseat in the editing really frustrates me. He generally has some great advice, but is edited down to primarily trying to say good things about the lowest rated designers. In the end, Alexandria goes home, in no small part due to her lack of creativity (using tarp as fabric and creating a boring dress with it...yawn. 

In the end, Alexandria goes home, and Justin wins (for the first time!).

Random Observations

• Egg Samantha gets to speak at the beginning of the episode, and has a featured past outfit! She is barely heard from again.
• What is the point of Project Runway celebrating themselves so damned much? I think we've noticed it, but it has never been a point of discussion. Neither Rupaul's Drag Race, nor The Amazing Race engage in such blatant acts of self-fellation. It's a very uncool thing to do. If you're the best, act like it. Don't go around vaunting your accolades to the audience who is already watching, go out and advertise yourself. Do you hear the cool kids saying, "I'm cool" or "I'm tough" or whatever? No. They just are. Stop it, Project Runway. You should be better than this.
• With all the talk about street harassment, I had to wonder if Project Runway bothered getting the workers to sign releases for this, or if they stole the imagery for the show, filming in creepy cam.
• Jay is really pushing for being a Reality Show Personality. I didn't remember him from his season, but he is shouting WOO and squealing with the same pitch as the air horn siren. 
• Isaac: "I'm not one to kind of like something very sharp around someone's neck. I guess there's something dangerous, I guess that's why you like it, Alyssa. She likes dangerous clothes, right?"
  Alyssa: "Like my men."

Project Runway S13 E2: "Unconventional Movie Nite"

Well I'll say this much for them, that at least felt like a real episode of Project Runway. Jury's still out on whether or not that's a good thing, but there you have it. Plus HMG is back, so that's always a pleasure.

The designers wake up the morning after their first challenge to see the very welcome site of a bucket of popcorn on the counter. The guys wake up to the slightly less welcomed sight of Mitchell in skimpy underwear.... so yeah that happened.... We'll move on. Tim invites everyone out to the movies where they sit through what looks like the worst trailer for the worst movie imaginable (literally it looks like Michael Bay directed a fashion show) before Tim pops up on the screen to tell them it's an Unconventional Materials challenge. And to make matters worse, it's also a Team Challenge. You can hear the PR producers laughing maniacally in the background at just how perfectly they've screwed these guys over. Using film based material (which, surprisingly enough includes a lot of Film itself), the groups will be designing three cohesive looks. There will be one winning team and one losing team from which the winner and the loser of the challenge will be selected respectively. People run around, grab a bunch of shit, and we head back to the workroom.

The workroom section of this episode is a lot of fun because it's basically a long stretch of "Hey look at all the immigrants!" By fun, I mean head scratchingly confusing, and slightly uncomfortable. I may not agree that this season is full of reality TV character tropes and racial stereotypes, per se, but after this week I certainly think the PR producers feel very accomplished for having so few Americans on the show. Here's the thing, on the one hand, I find the racial and ethnic diversity of this season to be commendable. I find the contestant's respect and appreciation for their own backgrounds to be fun and fascinating. On the other hand, when you cram in everyone's immigrant story into one episode, it feels exploitative and phony. I don't feel like we're in stereotype territory just yet, but I certainly think there's something reductive about looking at these people as little more than their races. If this were some kind of multicultural themed challenge (which even as I say it sounds like a total shit show that I don't want this series to ever even think about touching), then I think the interview segments would have made more sense. But against the backdrop of film and Unconventional Materials? I don't get it.

But whatever, back to the challenge. It wouldn't be a team challenge if someone didn't break down in tears over feeling picked on and having their artistic vision disrespected. This week that person is Sandhya. Allow me to say for the record that I seriously hate Sandhya! I know Korina is the setting herself up to be the villain this season, but I'll take three of her in place of this one Sandhya any day. I'll say one thing in Sandy's defense (and yes I shall be calling her Sandy from this point forward, get used to it), her main point seems to be that they don't need to create the same dress three times for their collection to have cohesion. But she's clearly the outcast on this group. Hernan and Carrie (who are the only two designers fighting for their lives on this team since Sandy has immunity) clearly have a similar and cohesive vision. Sandy doesn't agree with that vision and, thusly, doesn't want to design anything towards it. Tim points out that the futuristic feel of Hernan and Carrie's looks verges on being too costume-y, but I'm betting if they had stuck with what they had started to do instead of changing their design, they would have been safe in the end. Either way, Tim leaves them all feeling a bit discombobulated: Hernan and Carrie panic a little since if this falls through it'll be one of them going home, and Hernan tries (maybe a little forcefully) to get Sandy to understand what she needs to change in order to fall in line with the group's aesthetic. As a result she cries and runs off to Tim to tell him she feels bullied and like she needs a little encouragement. Every single aspect of her time with Tim leaves a bad taste in my mouth. After seeing certain designers get attacked last season in group challenges, I can't help but to think that Sandy has nothing to complain about and she needs to suck it up and get her ass back to work. If those kid gloves she was handled with drive her to tears, then I'm guessing this isn't the place for her.

The other emotional wreck this season is Angela. It was mentioned in the comments on the last episode that watching her stress out every week is going to be stressful, and I couldn't agree more. Granted, for me it'll be less about the stress and more about the overt anger I feel watching her moan and cry for an hour each week, but you know; it's the same difference. She doesn't agree with Sean and Fade's idea about drawing from movie fashion villains so she kind of wants to do her own thing. Her own thing seems to entail cutting up movie scripts and gluing them onto a dress form. *Insert laugh track here*

Tim talks to other people who are doing other things, the models come in for a highly uneventful fitting, and then everyone goes to bed. Then it's runway time, and the best part of the episode happens: The Return of HMG!!!!! Which really should have been the title of the episode, don't you think?

Ok so the Rate the Runway site has the looks in a different order than they were in on the episode, but they're still collected by teams, so I'm going to go through the looks in the order the site has them in instead of the order the walked out in.

Green Team:

Alexander: I found this look to be weird and heavy. Just watching it walk down the runway made me feel like I was suffocating under the weight of it. It's just all too much. The neckline and the weird fly away hemline both seem to be fighting for your attention and it all just feels like too much is going on. I like the way he used the film in alternating colors to make it look a bit more like fabric, but I would have loved for him to take this down a notch or two.

Emily: I think I might have liked this look if it weren't for the saddle bag hip bulges. It's an attempt at being artistic and special that just ends up looking forced and stupid. With that being said, I like the top. I don't know how much I want to forgive it for its odd fit issues, but it's not like she was using a material that would perfectly conform to the model's body, so hey.

Samantha: I find Samantha's look to be simple, straight forward, and lovely. The key word in unconventional materials challenges to me is movement. I always respond way more to materials that aren’t fabric but move a bit like fabric. And that’s what this look had. Even the top, made from those stiff CDs, had more movement to it than I expected. I don't think it's a look worthy of the top three or anything, but I certainly think it was the best look from this team.

Silver Team:

Amanda: This look screams “Everything and the kitchen sink!” I will say that it came together a bit more by the end than I anticipated when I was watching her work in the workroom, but the end result is messy and craftsy to me. It feels like it lacks a clear vision and artistic voice. I honestly hate it.

Korina: It's certainly a bit sexy and slinky in a way I like, and I also really like the green which is strung throughout this collection, but there's something about this dress that doesn't really do it for me. The black strips kind of put me in mind of grass. Not like you walk out side and that's what grass looks like, but more like the first grade class is making a field out of construction paper to put up on the cork board and they take the green sheets of paper and cut slits in them to make it look like grass. So that's a no from me, but I do love the top of the dress. It looks like a lot of thought and design went into creating it, so I'll give her credit there.

Kristine: The extent to which I hate this dress is a bit staggering. I like the idea a lot, but I think the execution is horrid. The top of the skirt portion is way too high, the braided top is horribly ill-fitting, and everything looks uncomfortable. I'm perfectly aware that I may be in the minority on this, but I really really hate it!

Blue Team:

Angela: .................................. I think Tim's look says it better than I could, so I'll let him convey it for me.

Fade: I really like this. I like the mix of hard and soft, but I also worry that the top might be a little bit too hard. It's so immovable that it feels a little affronting at times. But that's a small critique on an otherwise great dress.

My future husband Sean: I love love love love love love love this look. I have two very tiny problems with it: 1) I would have liked to see a few less straws on the shoulders in favor of something a little more streamlined. I thought the straws on the shoulder area made it look a little more costume-y. 2) I wish the black spots felt like they had been placed with a little more attention to detail. It looked very random. For me, random is the kind of thing I only like when it looks purposeful, which I understand is an odd contradiction, but there you have it. But again, I find those to be very small nit picky problems that I don't think anyone other than me would have.

Red Team:

Carrie: The sad thing is that I neither like nor dislike this dress. I feel like this team's failings are the failings of a team more so than an individual. By which I mean the pieces aren't horrible until you look at them together. I don't hate this, I certainly can see a rhyme and a reason behind it, and I like the way the film is arranged to give the illusion of fabric. I even like the cut of the dress and the way it works around the bust line and comes down to a point in the back of the skirt. But then you look at it against

Hernan: and things start to fall apart. Again, this dress isn't bad in and of itself, but it's really no different than Carrie's. The cut and shape are altered, but that doesn't do anything to eliminate the feel of looking at the same thing over and over again.

And then there's Sandy: She really should be taken outback and shot for this look. Everything about this screams petulant jerk who couldn't get her way so she's just going to begrudgingly pretend to go along with the leader's wishes and throw some BS together in the last minute. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It looks like she just tossed some film reel onto the model and called it a day. I'm honestly a bit offended by the presence of this on the show.

Purple Team:

Char: If I've learned one thing after years of Unconventional Materials challenges, it's that paper always just looks like paper. It never moves or fits like some of the other materials people choose. But with that being said, I love this look. It's cute and fun and the back is sleek and simple. I do think there's a slightly arts and crafts feel to it, which knocks it down a level or two, but ultimately I like it a lot.

Kini: This is a look I love in spite of myself. Looking at it in the photographs, I think the point could be made that there's a little much going on in the front. The crumpled up popcorn bags tend to look a little cheap and almost like a pinata, but I still really really love it. It bounces when it walks down the runway, and the braiding of the top is just exquisite. I do wish he'd gotten rid of the popcorn bunching on the top and just left that to the bottom portion of the dress; that way the top could have been nothing but the braided pieces, but I still love this look.

Mitchell: This is another one I love in spite of myself. I fully recognize I might be in the minority here, but I freakin love Purple Team. This look sparkles and shimmers in a way that could cause a seizure, but I really love it. The shimmering purple matched with the iridescent CD pieces, coupled with the open back, and the jagged edges of the whole thing is just beautiful to me. I may be the only one, but Purple Team are the winners of the night to me.

In the end, Heidi compliments Sean and Fade before telling Angela that her horrid POS kept her team away from the top spot. So instead, Silver Team is in the top and Red Team is in the bottom. This marks the second week in a row where I think the selection of the bottom makes perfect sense but the top looks are just baffling. I honestly don't know what the judges are seeing this season. If you want to tell me that Angela keeps her team from winning, I'm ok with that because her look really is pathetic, but I have a hard time thinking that the next best team out there is Silver.

But whatever, the judges praise Silver's cohesion and their use of color, and condemn Red for producing the same dress over and over again. Carrie tries her best to defend them by way of pointing out what they were doing before they decided to listen to Tim's advice, but as Zac correctly points out, that's pointless since they aren't being judged on what could have walked down the runway. When asked who should go home, it's clear that both Hernan and Carrie think it should be Sandy, and to their credit it should be Sandy. Everyone points out that her dress is the worst of the three. But Sandy has immunity, so her name really isn't on the table here. Which brings up the point that had the judges been smart last week and chosen a look that actually did deserve to win, the outcome of this week would have been more understandable and satisfying. But in a moment of brain damage they picked Sandy to win last week and as a result Carrie is sent home this week. She storms off in a well deserved furry, I thought, and isn't shy about letting Sandy have it when she gets back to the green room before Tim comes back and sends her to clean out her space. Oh yeah, and Amanda wins for some reason.

In the end, I'm left feeling a little torn. On the one hand, this is exactly the kind of episode I expect from PR at this point. It was paced well, the challenge was interesting and just difficult enough to keep the designers on their toes, and even if I didn't really appreciate the subject matter of the interview segments during the workroom section, I at least understand the need to allow us to get to know these designers a bit better, and I certainly think they did a better job of that this week than they did last week. But on the other hand, this judging just feels really really off. I agree with Carrie that she didn't deserve to go home. Sadly, the rules of the challenge were what they were which kind of tied everyone hands. But it's those rules that I think I have a problem with. Is this really the stage in the competition to keep the judging along these group lines? I agree that we should have been looking for cohesion, but I would have much rather had them choose three top and bottom looks irrespective of teams and grant a win and loss to the person that deserved it. If that had been done, I'm guessing we could have spoken to Sean, Fade and Angela and rightfully sent Angela home while still (maybe) giving Fade or Sean a well deserved win. And maybe given Sandy a typical warning that they'd honestly love to send her home but can't because of her immunity. But if we've learned anything from Zac, it's that we have to engage with what we were given and not what we wanted to see.

Stray Observations:

--First off, next week Thursday is my birthday and I'm going to be super busy on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. I can write the review Saturday morning or so if you guys don't mind waiting. But if that's too late, then someone else might want to take up the task of the write up. I should be good to go with the write ups again the following week. Julius, let me know what you want and we can go from there.

--I honestly didn't want to say anything because I really do think the Tim Gunn reaction shot speaks for us all, but Angela's dress looks like a child glued paper strips to a dress from. It really was just pathetic.

--Say what you will about Mitchell, but he was really great this episode with the comforting others thing. He was there with a hug for Sandy after her pointless freak out, and also had words of comfort for Angela after Heidi called her out in front of everyone. I don't find his typical Too Gay to Function personality appealing, but he honestly does seem like a really nice guy.

--The moment when Sandy was about to cry on the runway and Zac just overtly stopped her is my favorite moment of the night.

--Speaking of the lovely and adorable Zac Posen, just how much do you think it'd cost me to get him and Sean to make a sex tape together?

--I noticed that Amanda's look was one that I found myself hating more and more as the judges praised it. I felt the same way about Sandy's look last week, so there's that I guess.

--There's a part of me that's wondering how much of Sandy's mini break down might have been about cultural differences. I don't feel like I know these guys well enough to say this, and thusly it sounds a little stereotypical in my head, but maybe Sandy's just not used to dealing with someone a little more forceful, outspoken, and fiery as Hernan? So what she takes as being bullied and disrespected is really just him expressing his point in more typically Latin fashion? I think the argument for that could be made, but I don't know that I want to be the one to make it.

Under The Gunn S1 E2: "The Mentor Face Off"

Welcome back to Project Runway's The Voice-inspired spinoff, Under The Gunn. Today, we bring you Part 2 of the 2-part season premiere, with each episode lasting 90 minutes each.

In case you missed the set up for the premiere, here's the set-up for the 2 premiere episodes:

• Under the Gunn is set in LA
• The producers brought together a pool of 15 designers to compete in the premiere episode
• The producers also brought in 3 previous Project Runway stars: Anya, Mondo and Nick Verreos to choose teams of 4 from the 15 designers to mentor over the course of the season
• The 15 designers are divided into 2 groups, of 8 and 7, to create an outfit in 6 hours
• The mentors have to look at the portfolios of the designers to figure out who they like
• The mentors also get to watch the designers work under pressure, and figure out who they click with.
• The mentors also a brief consulting period to interact with the designers
• The designers have a runway show
• The mentors then get to woo the good designers to their team

Which is a lot to pack in in 90 minutes. Add in that we have to do this twice in two weeks, and *whew*. Under the Gunn editors, my hat is totally off to you for these two episodes. The episodes were as close to coherent and interesting as that huge event listing could lead you to. Faithful readers, according to my DVR, we return to 60 minute episodes next week, so I'm not sure what the new format will look like on a day to day schedule.

Where we left off last week, 1 of the 15 designers has gone home, 2 of the remaining 7 have to go home this week. Anya has 3 of her four slots filled, while Nick and Mondo each only have 2.

The design challenge this week: there are big barrels which have bolts of fabric hanging around in the background. The designers have 30 seconds to grab as much fabric as they can and figure out what outfit they are going to make in the 6 hours.  Which is different than last week's everybody gets a bag of the same shitty 4 fabrics.

The designers this week:

• Isabelle Donola, 33, Rio De Janeiro and New York - Ex-professional skateboarder! Crazy, hyperactive, and maybe a bit sloppy
• Asha Daniels, 25, Cincinnati - Younger designer who primarily designed for family members, including prom dresses and big events. She designs for women who kick ass. And, she does things that are future-tech but also artistic.
• Sam Donovan (aka Bitch, Sassy Sustainable Sam, or SSS, or Triple S), 23, Boston - Really young typically catty gay who focuses on sustainable clothing...but might be more intelligent than Sustainidiot
• Rey Ortiz, 32, Fort Worth and Puerto Rico - HOT Puerto Rican turned American who designs for "women who aren't afraid of pants" and "career-oriented sluts" (his words). An overdesigner in his aesthetic.
• Stephanie Ohnmach, 37, Denver - An ex-farm girl who started making clothes as a child to fit in with everybody else. Quiet designer.
• Amy Sim, 53, Portland - Married with cute adult children. Recently graduated from design school after sending her kids to college. Her aesthetic is constantly safe and what rich ladies think people want to wear. They're high end, bubbly, modern and kind of timeless but always safe and ready to wear.
• Nicholas Komor, 26, Atlanta - Cute cubby guy who focuses on over-intellectualized menswear, with a really hot model friend

As I mentioned earlier, this week has a completely different feel than last week. Last week, all designers had 4 really ugly fabrics, including a polka dot and a gold lame. But, this week, all of the designers have a completely different set of fabrics, which they chose on the fly in 30 seconds. So, while they don't have the 30 minutes that we're used to at Mood, at least these fabrics have a semblance of taste and generally kind of fit with what the designers are comfortable with.

While the designers are designing, they are also setting up their archetypes, which I had started to hint at in the examinations of the contestants. Amy is the bubbly elder woman. Rey is flat and mildly negative, with a kind of intensity that almost borders on hot scary, and also has a lack of filter in his word selection. Stephanie is the pixie arty designer. Sam is a bitchy baby gay. Nicholas is a quiet hard worker who may come out of his geeky shell, and may have an emotional arc. Isabelle is the hyperactive time-mismanager. Asha hasn't had much time to shine yet.

All of the above came out in the first 26 minutes of the show. Which, if you've not been watching, gives you an idea of just how hyperactive and overpacked these first two episodes of Under The Gunn actually are. The mentors have already had their consultation as well.

Tim consults the mentors to see how the choices are going. Anya continues her observations, saying "their looks are more varied; pushing the boundaries more." And, really, that's what happens when you give them better fabrics, and different fabrics from each other. The fabrics talk to you and say what they kind of want to be, and so the looks are going to push the boundaries when somebody is going with a flimsy see-through pattern, while another is using a heavy pleather or vinyl.

The difference between these two challenges makes for an interesting philosophy, if you'll indulge me while the designers have their freakout as they're finishing and setting up their characters. The first challenge sets up the designers against each other with the same fabrics. The looks speak to who the designer is, and pits the designers against each other with the same base foundation. But, today's challenge is much more free. It reveals more of what the designer's voice is by the fabrics they chose and how they chose to assemble them, but says less about who they are with regards to the other designers.

The first challenge focuses on ingenuity, while the second focuses on style. The first places everybody with respect to each other, while the second places everybody on their own. And, therein lies the problem I have with the differences between these two episodes. Since, ostensibly, the mentors are making choices based on the same criteria in both episodes. I prefer the second episode, since the first episode has traditionally been a "speak with your voice" episode, and the second is much more of than than the first. What are your guys' takes on this? I think that this discrepency actually has a lot of meat, but I could be stretching.

Anyways, soon enough, it is time for the models to come in, get dressed and made up. And, HOLY HELL, Rey is only wearing a pair of boxer briefs? Well, that's about all there is to his pants on Day 2. Jeez. He's a career-oriented slut.  I like him. And, this is when we have Isabelle getting cut off from her work, since she was sewing past the last minute.

Runway:

• Stephanie - A medium cute indie hipster dress that has lovely little keyhole slits totally look like a homemade pie crust. The silhouette is perfectly acceptable for indie girls, and it has adorable pleats.
• Amy - A cute young summer dress with a great top and a bunch of panels to make up the skirt. It's plainly adorable. It would be a great dress that wouldn't be out of place in the background of a summer party in a movie about the tennis set.
• Triple S - This is a perfect movie costume for a girl who was trying to make a statement about how lazy she looks. There was a quote from something that went "People don't realize how long it takes to look like you don't care how you look." That's this outfit. Its stylishly lumpy and misshapen, and great for fall.
• Isabelle - Space age shiny material, and looks like it could be an outfit from The Next Generation. I'm not wowed by it.
• Rey - Um...wow. Leopard esque leggings, with a boxy, oversized teal double breasted blazer and no shirt, with a chunky gold chain, Jackie O glasses, dual black gauntlets with a silver something or other, and slicked back hair. It's a lot of look. A LOT of look, especially for America. Designers steeped in latin culture love added everything on top of everything. Oscar did it last week in his head-to-toe gold look, and Rey did it this week in this...whatever it is.
• Asha - A weird vinyl art mess. I dunno. I didn't get it. It's really tight in the back, and the front if coming up. I really don't get it. It would be great in a music video.
• Nicholas - A tunic that is just a touch too short. There's nothing more to say about it.

In the end, we have our three teams:

Anya: Shan, Blake, Brady, and Nicholas

Mondo: Michelle, Camila, Triple S, and Asha 

Nick: Oscar, Natalia, Isabelle, and Stephanie

Rey and Amy go home. Which, sad. But, Rey was over designed to the point of wut?, and Amy has a shining future designing for the expensive boutique-going crowd. She just has to open a store, and get to it.

And, this concludes the 2-part, 3-hour total, premiere episode of Under the Gunn. How are you guys doing?

Random Observations:

• Apologies for the overuse of bullet points. It helped me keep this episode straight, as it was really packed.
• "You are...beautiful" = "A lot older than the rest of us"
• "If you send her down assless, you're going straight home." 
• "I want to kill myself. Ah...I would never do that, but I want to kill myself."
• I love the helper who has to physically intervene between Isabelle and her model.

Project Runway All-Stars S3 E2: "Bitten by the Fashion Bug"

Ok, guys. This is it. We got all of those silly introductions out of the way, and we only have 60 minutes (minus commercials) to get through the episode. Let's get down to business. Challenge, sewing, drama, models, makeup, runway. Let's make it snappy, people!

Let's...

Oh...

Ok, Melissa saying that the competition is crazy hard. Well, that's the usual Project Runway thing. But, within 2 minutes we're already inside the New York Museum of Natural History. Yay, we're through the product placement within the 3rd minute. And, we've even gotten Curly Moustache Guy saying "I'm going home" "I'm from Texas."

The challenge? To create, in one day, an avant garde look based on an insect, or arachnid. Today, I learned that a scorpion is actually an arachnid.  I was going to be all snarky and "scorpions aren't arachnids or insects, silly Project Runway." But, I had to double check because I hate biology, and they are arachnids!  *the more you know*

While typing all that up, we're already 8 minutes into the episode, and we're in the work room.  Jeez this episode is going so fas...wait...

We have time to fawn over work room.  With Mychael Knight commenting to us such mind-boggling information as "It's bigger than Mood" and "I love the colors." Or, Christopher Palu helpfully adding "Our tables are all set up. There's a sewing room that's attached. It's really nice." We see that the walls are done in a shade of blue-purple that has been dubbed, on Wiki at least, as either Pomp and Power or Dark Pastel Purple. But, really, its almost a grey.  And, the stripes don't help it.

We're also introduced to the QVC accessory wall that Viktor describes as "AMAZING. There's necklace, cuffs, bags, shoes..." Probably also belts, earrings, hair pieces...  You know, accessories!  And, he finishes with "Anything a girl would like" and then makes a hand motion around his neck that makes me think he has confused a girl with an octopus. No, Viktor, girls have boobs, not neck tentacles.  

Korto is still on her "Why the fuck am I here" rant.  She comments, "I got to go back to Africa, and design for their President as well as Vanessa Williams, Miss Universe, Estelle, Serena Lopez...Mama's not done, and yet I'm here?!!? Jesus fuck why did you guys bring me back here. Assholes."

So, 10 minutes in (and no commercials!), we're actually at the design...until Elena freaks out and has sweaty armpits. But, nobody gives a shit, really. "Drama, please?  Did you even see ToKen last season? You'll have to do better than having moist armpits." And, then we get to actually look at a bit of the design and tension. We get lots of shots of people cutting, and pinning, and expressing frustrations. Viktor zings us with "I'm about to turn into Elena," and is edit punctuated by Elena doing her best Gene Simmons impression. *zing!* And, NeckTat gives us this episode's next round of name droppings saying he used to design for Marilyn Manson. 

Zanna Roberts Rossi comes in and breathlessly explains that avant garde means "pushing boundraries, experimental, innovative, and super daring."  Take note. This is important. But, then Zanna speeds through everybody's critique. My favorite comment is to NeckTat, "You have a LOT of ideas." And, then to Korto, "This is pants and a jacket. How is this gonna win the challenge?"  And, she finished up with "this is really not avant garde enough. From all of you."  Note this. This is important.

Two people re-design based on Zanna's commentary. The first is Michael, who had gone completely Green, and decided to flip it and go into neutral grey with green highlights. The second is Melissa, who decided to second guess her whole outfit...but doesn't change anything?

Elena decides to lose it for the rest of the episode. Screaming, walking, crying, everything. She took the crazy challenge, and she kind of nails it without being all angry aggressive.  Somebody, give this woman a medal. We need more of her self-inflicted-psychosis high drama, and less of the angry at other people drama. I mean, she goes screaming through the sewing room, through the work room, crying the next day while finishing her dress.  It's an amazing performance, and she manages to do it without yelling at anybody. She even gets her model AND Viktor to help her finish her dress. Good job.

Fittings, product calling, etc. And, now runway. 

Special Guest judge #1: accessory designer Jennifer Meyer who turned Katie Holmes, Emma Stone and Jennifer Aniston into loyal clients. Please note that at least Katie Holmes is wearing a necklace. That is the only visible accessory in the name dropping client picture collection.

Special Guest judge #2: Friend of the family, ANYA?!!?  NOOOOOOOO!  A shoo-in!!!  Remember how we said her season was rigged?  She's back to rub it in!  Fuck you!  *ahem*

And, remember how I pointed out the definitions of avant garde, well Alyssa Milano really hammers it home by saying, "we're looking for something really unique."

And, Show:

Seth Aaron: Fetish Maid at a goth bar's amateur fashion show.  *snooooooze*

Mychael: It's a cute grey neoprene dress with a cute shawl that has some interesting cuts to it that make it green. There's nothing strange about the dress. It's a little ultra-modern. 

CMG: An interesting brown dress with a bizarre neckline that is strangling his model. It looks somewhat cheap, but he did it with $250 and in one day. It at least is risky.

Korto: "I'm gonna make a biker outfit with more things attached."

NeckTat: It's like Rorschach decided to go on a bender and ended up with a lampshade on his head, only it was too big and ended on his shoulders.  It's strange, and it's avant garde evoking war imagery and violence. I love it and hate it, which means I think it is the most interesting piece so far.

Melissa: *snooooooze*

STOP

So, up until now, it's been amateur hour.  Everything has been kind of interesting, but ultimately really snoozy. Suddenly...the runway becomes a different show.

Viktor: An strange avant garde super hero gown that looks like it may have been a costume out of Batman and Robin. It's sort of Poison Ivy if she had been white and green instead of red and green. It definitely borders costume, but it is interesting.

Palu: It's high fashion from the 1990s vision of 2050. It's boxy and techy looking. It's interesting but expected.

Irina: Gothy avant garde that reflects the darkness of her soul. It's pointy, sharp, black, gothic with runway styling and dramatic, and everything that avant garde should be taken to a dark dark place. I love the fuck out of this look.

Elena: She makes an alien androgynous, edgy look that is hard and feminine and looks like its from a rock show.

And, then we get Alyssa being a sly little minx and calling people in 3s and 2s. First three names, then "you will be critiqued." Then two names and "you will be safe." Repeat. *wink* 

But, the judging goes weird. Irina, Elena, and Mychael are on the top. CMG, NeckTat, and Melissa are on the bottom.  The criticisms for NeckTat, in particular, are almost their own Rorschach test. Isaac thinks the woman should be able to drink a martini. Anya thinks it is a backup dancer look. Georgina says the lampshade looks clumsy (correct). Alyssa thinks that the hood was appropriate for the bedroom *cracks whip*.

And, they loved Mychael's conventionally unconventional look. They liked how it looked expensive. Mychael won, and CMG loses (based on his taste level).  Seriously?  Melissa's boring-ass look doesn't lose over CMG's cheap-looking insect dress?  And, this is where we are with judging...

Stray Observations

- Palu on NeckTat's concept: "It's a cool concept...............ish?"

- Moustache: "The model gets it. She gets the avant garde. She gets the strange." Who cares?

- Seth Aaron: "9 minutes." Elena: "Wow. *screams*" Title card: 4 hours remaining.

- CMG: "I have butterflies in my stomach." *psst, Daniel. Butterflies were last season. You didn't happen to eat their butterflies, did you?*

- Viktor: "It looks like it's from the planet Elenus." *Non-zing ZING!*

- Alyssa Milano: "Bye." How cold and impersonal compared to Heidi's "Auf Weiderschoen!" Have a heart, girl.