Project Runway S13 E4: "A Suitable Twist"

Unfair:

adjective

1. not fair; not conforming to approved standards, as of justice, honesty, or ethics:

an unfair law; an unfair wage policy.

2. disproportionate; undue; beyond what is proper or fitting:

an unfair share.

Someone should remind the producers of Project Runway of this fact.  Because nothing screams unfair more than an undeserving designer picking fabric for everyone else in the competition. Is my selective memory acting up, or is this the first time we've ever done that on this show? It's also possible that my extreme hatred of Sandy plays a part in my anger over this development, but I find this to be horribly problematic. In their defense, pretty much every suit to choose from was equally unappealing, but in a challenge where a significant part of the expectation is to be "inspired" by the fabric you're choosing, how does it make any sense whatsoever to have someone else choosing your suit? Speaking as an artist, it's not easy to get inspired by something you have no say in. You can't just pop up with an image and ask me to get inspired to write a story about it over the course of one day. Maybe this would have worked better with more than one day; give the designers a little more time to mull over the looks they've been unfairly assigned and find something within it they can be passionate about. But under these circumstance? I think this left the deck unfairly stacked against some designers and it left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Now that we've got the rant out of the way; welcome back Runaways! The designers start with a trip to Red Robin, Yawn Yum! I don't know if it's simply because we don't have Red Robin's here in Florida, but I couldn't bring myself to be excited about this particular piece of product placement.

We're introduced to Jason Rusk who is someone with Red Robin. I wasn't paying much attention because I was too busy cooing over how little he is. At 6'1", I tend to really like short men (who am I kidding, I like tall men too, I really don't have a "type"), and as such I just found him so adorable. I wanted to put him in my pocket... ok things just got weird, let's get back to the challenge. Jason says something about putting a spin on something "as classic as a burger," so there's that, plus men in horrible suits which have to serve as inspiration and fabric, and the finished look has to be high fashion, and Sandy gets to choose everyone's suit because she won last week, and probably about 100 other things. Has anyone else noticed how convoluted the challenges have been lately? It feels like they all have multiple layers which tend not to have anything to do with each other, and never combine to make any sense.

Anyway, that's when the man candy comes out in horrible suits. Sandy chooses suits for everyone "based on their specific design aesthetics," and then everyone goes inside to sketch and eat free fries.  Much to my disappointment, the men didn't hang around the restaurant in their underwear after having the suites ripped off of them. Talk about missed opportunities. Then it's off to Mood for Swatch! Or I mean supplemental fabric. But really, are we even watching the show for any reason other than Swatch and HMG at this point?

I normally love Tim Gunn forever, and to be honest I still do, but I have a bone to pick with him over his workroom visit this go around: I feel like he's giving very bad advice. Admittedly, the first moment of bad advice proves to be my not having a full vision of what the finished product would be. But when he tells Amanda that the increase of fringe towards the bottom was a good idea, all I could think was Car Wash Crotch." Which shouldn't be the goal for anyone. But Amanda certainly pulls it out by the end and I had to eat my words. On the other hand, however, when he meets with Sean, and sees the tragic mistakes he's making, never once does he offer any real advice that could potentially save the outfit. He tells him to go with the unfinished outside of the dress instead of the boring, but smooth, inside of it because it's more interesting. But never once does he voice a concern that this is a bad idea. I understand that Tim comes in close enough to the end of the day that scraping an entire look in favor of something new isn't feasible, and thusly he's mostly there to try and tell them how best to save or edit the looks they've already got, but we've seen him offer strong words of caution before and I don't feel like he did that here. And that he does it to my PR Crush of the season hurts my heart and had me panicking that Sean would be going home and I'd have to write the review through tears.

On to the runway: Bethany Mota is guest judge this week, take from that what you will.

Korina: I think it’s beautiful. I don’t think it’s really innovative to conflate “edge” with “leather,” I’d like to think that time is behind us, but with that being said, it’s clean cut, the color is beautiful, the slit in the skirt is sexy, I really like the belt, and it’s wearable.

Char: This feels more like high fashion to me. It’s nice, I like the dramatic neck and the bow on the hip. I’m not jumping up and down about it, but I like it. 

Fade: I think the textile is beautiful, but I also think it could be the sort of thing that’d make someone a little dizzy looking at it. It’s nice, but the entire cut of the look just screams “safe” to me.

Samantha: Who the hell is Samantha as a designer? Nothing I’ve seen from her sticks out in my memory thus far, and this look tells me nothing at all. I find this to be offensively boring.

Hernan: Very unflattering placement of the V (pun intended), and the look feels very costume. Get rid of the V (I think only a gay man would say that) and it’s at least an OK costume. I think this is purely a Taste Level issue. It's not hideous, it's just tasteless. And that's not the first time I've felt that way about his designs.

Alexander: I think Alexander has redeemed himself, though I don’t think it would have taken much for him to have done so after last week. At least this proves he has an aesthetic and is capable of design. I think the skirt is a little boring, but the design elements of the top feel High Fashion. I also really like his model’s styling. Good job.

Mitchell: The interesting this about this look to me is that I never would have guessed it came from Mitchell if I just saw it on the runway. I don’t think it’s great, it’s got a costume feel to it too, and outside of that it’s a little boring. But I don’t think it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen either.

Sean: Oh my poor Aussie baby. This was just… no. The top is too simple (though it’s certainly better than what he had before), the skirt looks messy and unfinished, nothing about this says high fashion. I hope he’s safe, and I think I can make the argument that this is another example of a designer with the deck stacked against him doing the best he can with what he’s given, but this was just bad.

Kristine: The fit on those pants is just horrible. But she recognizes that, so I don’t feel the need to throw her under the bus much. For all the drama about her and Korina doing the same jacket (and Korina’s bitchy “nice jacket” comment is just perfect), I think they still look like two different looks. It turned out to be nbd. I do like this jacket though, the horrible fabric notwithstanding.

Amanda: Ok allow me to say that I actually do like this look, and I do think that the fringe saves it in a lot of ways. She certainly pulls it out, and I respect that. But when I look at it, it immediately puts me in mind of her Unconventional Materials look, and that makes me hate it a little bit.

Kini: I almost, kind of, mostly love this look. There’s something really odd going on with the hemline in the front. And I think there are construction issues with the skirt as well. But the design is beautiful and I really like the sleeves (I didn’t think I would) and I love the back. For having so much time given how fast he was going, you’d think he could have cleaned up the construction a little more.

Sandy: I’m so done with this woman. I don’t hate the top if I’m being honest, but I do hate the rest of it. Get the fuck off of my show!

Emily: She’s quickly becoming one of my favorite designers to be honest. I love every aspect of this: skirt, pants, top, all beautiful, well designed, and well-tailored.  

Kini, Amanda, and Alexander are in the top, and Sean, Kristine, and Hernan are in the bottom. How Emily is just safe blows my mind, and again we're set up for an episode where a deserving designer isn't going to win. But it's compounded by the possibility that my man might lose. And to be honest, his look this week is really horrible and probably deserves to lose. I also think his defense of the look is a little condescending. If he'd simply gone with more of a "I did the best I could to be innovative with a suit and a fabric that I never would have touched in my life if I could have avoided it," I think it would have made more sense. I'm sorry, but I really do feel like the designers hands were tied in a lot of ways by their "inspiration" being chosen for them. Nothing can excuse Hernan's final look, perhaps, but how do you really justify sending someone home when they were forced to work with a look that didn't speak to them and a fabric that they couldn't work with. No matter what the judges say when they touch Hernan's dress, if the fabric wasn't his choice, it wasn't his choice. All of it comes back to doing the best you can with what's handed to you; which might sound fair, and in some ways I understand that everyone's at least got some of the same restrictions, but everything about this feels wrong to me.

In any event, Amanda wins, which gives us 2 different winners over the course of 4 episodes, and I mean, really judges? Are you even fucking trying anymore? And Hernan goes home allowing Sean one more shot to redeem himself. Sean's look is easily the worst of the night, but typically when it's just poor construction vs bad taste, poor construction tends to win out. I only hope he can have an Alexander type turn it around moment next week and rocket to the top where he belongs. (Insert joke about him being a top here)

Stray Observations:

--This is also another place where I think Angela holding her team back in the unconventional challenge hurts everyone. The judges say something about never seeing any imagination from Sean, but I feel like had they been able to talk to him and Fade during that week, they wouldn't feel that way. But instead they were judged as a group and we're still feeling the aftermath of that. 

--I'm sad that Hernan went home because this felt like the first time we got to see fully bitchy Hernan, and I loved every minute of it! His calling everyone a bitch, and his catty behavior, which I thought was more friendly to at least everyone who wasn't Sandy, was just so much fun! I laughed so much and wanted more of him. 

--Do we really honestly think Sandy picked those suits trying to match up contestants aesthetics as best she could, or is that just the company line? I tend to think intention matters in most places, but I don't know if it does here. If she really does think that that's the suits most of them would have chosen themselves, then she's insane. And if she doesn't feel that way, then she's a jerk. 

--I know most people hate Korina, but I think I love her. Her "Great jacket" snide to Kristine and the look on her face when everyone in the greenroom was saying they loved that jacket were just priceless. Shade 101.

--What's the over/under on how long we can all stomach watching this season if the judging doesn't get better?

--Also, I almost forgot to draw attention to Jack Mackenroth (he was a contestant way back in season 4) and the awesome work he's been doing with HIV awareness.

--And also, I fully expect Julius to let us know what the designer vote break down was for this episode. I'm very curious about these developments every week. Not having cable sucks, but downloading the episodes and watching them sans commercials and over the course of like an hour 15 minutes really does make them far more enjoyable.

Project Runway S13 E3: "Past, Present and Future"

PAST
Before we get into tonight's show, I have to rewind because Project Runway is pulling some total shenanigans this season.

Project Runway, in the 90 minute Premiere edition, cuts immediately from the runway show straight to the designers standing on the runway with the runway finding out who has been on the top and bottom. Once they find out, the non top/bottom designers go to the green room, and chit chat about who they think is top and bottom, but it's really casual and nothing ever really coheres.

Project Runway, in the shortened 60 minute Rerun edition, cuts immediately from the runway show to a mini collage of the designers doing a confessional voting for whom they think was the best and the worst. The Green room segment is cut out.

In episode 1, the majority of the designers didn't like Sandhya, and voted against her. So, when she won, there was a lot of animosity since they thought she was the worst.

In episode 2, the majority of the designers think that Fade should have won (7 votes), and 3 people chose Amanda (whose dress still makes me SO MAD...UGH). But, as we know, Angela brought Fade's team down, so he had no chance. A couple people voted for Angela, but, on the whole, the designers were split with the designer with the worst votes being Emily, getting 3 votes. Nobody liked those giant avant garde hips. The editors did not highlight any votes for Sandhya.

The thing is, this new segment is extremely important to the drama of the season. While the green room segment shows us the face the designers are giving to the other designers, the montage shows what the designers really were thinking, and they start resenting people who give them the opposite. Such as how I'm still completely resenting Amanda's win because...so awful. Worse than Angela's napkin dress.

That the "who we think should win and lose" is kept from the viewer of the premiere episode is baffling. I love this segment so much.

PRESENT
Today's episode is "Past, Present, and Future." Apparently Marie Claire magazine is 20 years old, and started in 1994. Which means that the Teutonic Goddess was just a Teutonic Princess-in-Waiting, Tim Gunn was in his 12th year at Parsons and becoming Assistant Dean, Nina was working as an assistant, and Zac was...14 and making such terrible sartorial choices he gets cut off.

Which brings us to the stupidity of this challenge. Marie Claire wants to see what the designers think that 2034 fashion will look like when filtered through the eyes of the present designer, inspired by some distant memory past.  Oh dear. Designing for the future is never good. Because, unless you're Elena and your aesthetic is already in the future, this will probably mean a lot of dark sci-fi bullshittery. Especially because the editor-in-chief referenced grunge as something she liked and that was coming back.

The whole goal of this episode is to try to bring the designers out of their Reality Show Archetypes and try to humanize everybody by bringing in their past, and letting them ping around with their past swirling through their head. But, the producers know that the challenge won't be enough on its own, so they make a bulletin board with a bunch of pictures of the designers from 1994. And...OMG, Sean has a sword! So adorbs!

Really, the past pictures can add only so much, and tear down so many walls. The picture they chose for Amanda has her wearing the first dress she ever made, and she humblebrags that she played bass guitar with her brother from...um...that one band? Yeah, she's going to remind you at every minute that her brother is her most interesting characteristic. Similarly, Angela had mastered her petrified look 20 years ago. However, this only lasts for a brief segment.

There's also a whole segment where people are gathering as friends (knocking off the team challenge from last week which was actually, like, yesterday in their time). The Texas Hipster says "Oh, yeah. I don't care about fitting in. I'm just gonna do my own thing. And, The Oppressed One comments, "Nobody likes me, but I'm just going to go with it. I don't care." You know, even though she bitched about it to Tim Gunn last week.

To be totally honest, the ones who, so far, haven't escaped the archetypes I proposed in the first episode have been Emily (The Mom), Sandhya (The Oppressed One), Angela (The Nervous One), Amanda (The Elder Statesman), and Mitchell (The Obnoxious Bitch). Really, I'm getting sick of both Angela's and Mitchell's shit. Unlike Adrian, I think a lot of this is in the editing actually. Because, we see Mitchell becoming friends with Char while Texas Hipster is having her "woe is me" aside. Amanda is having talks with Fade. Sean and Alexander are having private talks.

There are a lot a lot of moments that are in a 9 hour day, and the moments that the editors choose really create these characters in subtle ways. I think there's more to Angela that has been on display both in the work room and in the hotel room, but the editors choose not to highlight that. Sandhya gets a more even treatment, emphasizing her point of view, but she's still An Oppressed One. These are the stories that we're told from the producers and editing rooms.

The one person I really like is Char, whom I had previously labeled as a potential Sassy Black Woman, but is totally reminding me of some of the amazing women I met in Southfield (which, given she's from Detroit, about 15 miles away from there, of course). The editors are letting her be a full fledged woman. I like Fade (who had a really dour German picture from 1994...in a crop sweater...re-emphasizing his status as Dieter) and Emily, but Char is the one whom I'm rooting for purely based on personality. She's warm and funny and smart, and amazing.

But, enough about that...what about the clothes?!

As OB rightly intones (goddammit, I hate saying he's right), the majority of the people probably heard Grunge and went off on it. Alexander gets hung up on his single mother's afghan blanket, which means he was going future horse blanket. And, he had a complicated top that looked like it could have been fucking amazing, if he had figured out its construction. The lines were sleek and motorcycle future inspired by grungy past over a raggedy blanket, it would have been amazing. And, I think he should have send out the sloppy top.

The ones who are designing with bold color are Sandhya (pink and gold), Angela (fleshy pale peachy pink?), Char (bright blue), Fade (light blue), Korina (Yellow) and OB (greys with turquoise lining). Everybody else is doing grungy colors. It's a very dark runway show we're in for.

The most interesting story of fashion was Alexander. But, there's also Sean's last minute hat he makes from a Mood Bag. And, Mitchell is trying to make a story about Miami being underwater because global warming.

But, I'm cutting those stories short because, I have a few bones to pick with the judging this season. So, hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, it's Runway Time, bitches!

Today, we're given two guest judges. The editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, and some fashion photographer who was granted a shallow-ass talk show that follows Project Runway. Which, has anybody actually watched the show? It's the worst post show ever. Can't we get Chris Hardwick to host? Or, even TLo? Or, may I suggest Adrian and I? We'll actually talk about Project Runway and not TMNT.

Anyways, Runway.

Kristine - I fucking love this look. This is, hands down, my favorite look of the night. It's sleek, it's past modern, and the jacket is kind of killer. The lines are gorgeous, and the white on white tonality is flawless.

Hernan - TRASHY. OMG. It's like some kinky fetish bra type thing with a harness, but with drape fabrics and...this isn't even the day to night challenge! This is just all sorts of wrong, and I really truly hated it. But, the back was gorgeous as hell.

Mitchell - I hate saying it, I like it. It's sportswear and it's tongue in cheek (comical is the word of the night). The lines being of completely different widths on the top and bottom kind of bug me, but the overall look is fun and sporty.

Amanda - I didn't hate it. That doesn't mean it's actually good. But, it's like 1970s crashed with the 1990s, and fucked up the model's hair. But, what was with the gold chain harness?

Angela - No. Terrible construction, even from afar. The idea was bizarre to begin with (a single white lapel that goes down and points at the girl's hoo haa? A sleeveless jacket in that fabric?), but the styling is so boring. Oh, Angela. This was terrible. And, the look of the label was copied from your first week's look that the judges hated. In the end, it's like the new look at the Clinique makeup counter.

Emily - Emily has the best model ever. She's got the best fiercest look coming down the runway, and the makeup Emily chose accentuated that strength. Then the clothing is just the best kind of warrior princess sci-fi inspired action movie outfit imaginable. The fit is great. And, it just works.

Samantha - Snooooooozzzzzzzeeee. A rich girl is going to school in the winter and threw on some random nice clothes.  SNOOOOOOOZZZZZEEE.

Kini - Its a nice pants and top with a decent cape. But, Emily's got you beat with almost the exact same look.

Fade - Here is somebody who had a very different future from everybody else. It's like, light blue and fluffy and feels like a European surrealistic future, perhaps in a Michel Gondry film? I really like it. It doesn't feel like the challenge at all, which is my favorite part about it. It feels like a take on the fashion we're seeing now and would be in the future. The best of the bunch.

Sean - BORING. It's clean, sophisticated, simple, modern, and very boring. There is no life in it, and it feels like somebody would have worn it in the 60s, the 90s, the 00s, the 10s, the 20s, and the 30s. In otherwords, it's moderately timeless and old hat. But, honey, your construction is shit.

Char - A miss. I mean, I love the two-toned pants. They're very graphic. But, the top doesn't belong with the pants, and it just doesn't work for me.

Korina - She has a terrible model who doesn't sell the look at all. But, it feels modern. Not of the future. Not of the past. But of the present. Like, "Hi, I just made a good looking outfit because I want to be safe."

Alexander - It's a potato sack dress in a bad fabric. I really feel I should hate it, but I'm so pessimistic about the future I really love it. This is what we're all going to be wearing in the future, you guys. It's really costumey though.

Sandhya - Speaking of costume, what the fuck is this? You guys might remember, I was a total Patricia apologist back in Season 12. But, this is just beyond Patricia. I can't even. It's like a costume from an Italian space opera of the 1970s that ripped off Star Wars. I'm not even joking, I can't deal with this. It's just awful.

Which...brings us to the judging. First of all, let me get this out of the way...what the fuck was Nina wearing? She was dressed like a disco ball...again? I swear I've seen her in similar awful tops. This kind of is as bad as the kindergarten alphabet sweater from Season 11. It's like she interprets the future as being a mirror computer. I was clawing my eyes out.

Besides this, the judging this season has been a season long trolling, I think. The winning dress every week has been calculated for #ProjectRunwayFail tweets. I liked Sandhya's first week dress, which was avant garde and announced her as a designer, and I could see the Indian styling to it. But, it wasn't the best of the week given it had some rough patches that needed to be worked out.

But, her dress this week was fucking awful. And, making her win again for something so inscrutably underdesigned, terrible and costumy. Heidi is right on this one. It was comical. And, it was awful. And, last week's had a similar DIY awfulness to it that just makes me think the winning design for the next few weeks are going to be college runway show shit.

The judges also were having fun tearing the dresses apart in the closer look. The editors really made them look cruel this week. And, they were even kind of cruel to the model.

But, when they were judging Alexander's look, I had a brief flash of them as judges in the Capital in the Hunger Games universe. They wanted the future to be fun and bright and silly and cheaply made! Alexander's dress may have been dour, but dour and dreary is not a valid criticism of the future when the present politics are so uneasy.

The worst dress this week was the winning look. But, I'm not too sad to see Angela go. Girl might be a better designer when she's not under pressure. But, the pressure got to her from when she was on the fucking plane, and she couldn't escape it because she was repeatedly on the bottom. Totally expendable, if only because she shouldn't be on a reality show.

FUTURE
The judges are going to smoke crack for awhile until it's fairly obvious their judging shouldn't be taken seriously at all.

The designers are going to be bitter at Sandhya for winning, when most probably felt she was going home, re-emphasizing her The Oppressed One archetype and storyline.

Korina will still be striving for villain.

We'll keep watching. Can you send us some burger coupons?

Random Observations

• Happy Birthday Adrian. 
• Also, I should say that this year is Project Runway's 10th anniversary season. Yeah, yeah, I know they celebrated their 10th back in Season 10. But, really, the first episode was aired in December 2004. Shhhh. 
• Tim pronounces quasi "QUAY SZIGH"
• Does unshaved Alexander in the confessionals remind anybody else of Zippy the Pinhead? Just me? It's mainly the hair which has been waxed to death
• Das Ist Kunst!

Project Runway S13 E2: "Unconventional Movie Nite"

Well I'll say this much for them, that at least felt like a real episode of Project Runway. Jury's still out on whether or not that's a good thing, but there you have it. Plus HMG is back, so that's always a pleasure.

The designers wake up the morning after their first challenge to see the very welcome site of a bucket of popcorn on the counter. The guys wake up to the slightly less welcomed sight of Mitchell in skimpy underwear.... so yeah that happened.... We'll move on. Tim invites everyone out to the movies where they sit through what looks like the worst trailer for the worst movie imaginable (literally it looks like Michael Bay directed a fashion show) before Tim pops up on the screen to tell them it's an Unconventional Materials challenge. And to make matters worse, it's also a Team Challenge. You can hear the PR producers laughing maniacally in the background at just how perfectly they've screwed these guys over. Using film based material (which, surprisingly enough includes a lot of Film itself), the groups will be designing three cohesive looks. There will be one winning team and one losing team from which the winner and the loser of the challenge will be selected respectively. People run around, grab a bunch of shit, and we head back to the workroom.

The workroom section of this episode is a lot of fun because it's basically a long stretch of "Hey look at all the immigrants!" By fun, I mean head scratchingly confusing, and slightly uncomfortable. I may not agree that this season is full of reality TV character tropes and racial stereotypes, per se, but after this week I certainly think the PR producers feel very accomplished for having so few Americans on the show. Here's the thing, on the one hand, I find the racial and ethnic diversity of this season to be commendable. I find the contestant's respect and appreciation for their own backgrounds to be fun and fascinating. On the other hand, when you cram in everyone's immigrant story into one episode, it feels exploitative and phony. I don't feel like we're in stereotype territory just yet, but I certainly think there's something reductive about looking at these people as little more than their races. If this were some kind of multicultural themed challenge (which even as I say it sounds like a total shit show that I don't want this series to ever even think about touching), then I think the interview segments would have made more sense. But against the backdrop of film and Unconventional Materials? I don't get it.

But whatever, back to the challenge. It wouldn't be a team challenge if someone didn't break down in tears over feeling picked on and having their artistic vision disrespected. This week that person is Sandhya. Allow me to say for the record that I seriously hate Sandhya! I know Korina is the setting herself up to be the villain this season, but I'll take three of her in place of this one Sandhya any day. I'll say one thing in Sandy's defense (and yes I shall be calling her Sandy from this point forward, get used to it), her main point seems to be that they don't need to create the same dress three times for their collection to have cohesion. But she's clearly the outcast on this group. Hernan and Carrie (who are the only two designers fighting for their lives on this team since Sandy has immunity) clearly have a similar and cohesive vision. Sandy doesn't agree with that vision and, thusly, doesn't want to design anything towards it. Tim points out that the futuristic feel of Hernan and Carrie's looks verges on being too costume-y, but I'm betting if they had stuck with what they had started to do instead of changing their design, they would have been safe in the end. Either way, Tim leaves them all feeling a bit discombobulated: Hernan and Carrie panic a little since if this falls through it'll be one of them going home, and Hernan tries (maybe a little forcefully) to get Sandy to understand what she needs to change in order to fall in line with the group's aesthetic. As a result she cries and runs off to Tim to tell him she feels bullied and like she needs a little encouragement. Every single aspect of her time with Tim leaves a bad taste in my mouth. After seeing certain designers get attacked last season in group challenges, I can't help but to think that Sandy has nothing to complain about and she needs to suck it up and get her ass back to work. If those kid gloves she was handled with drive her to tears, then I'm guessing this isn't the place for her.

The other emotional wreck this season is Angela. It was mentioned in the comments on the last episode that watching her stress out every week is going to be stressful, and I couldn't agree more. Granted, for me it'll be less about the stress and more about the overt anger I feel watching her moan and cry for an hour each week, but you know; it's the same difference. She doesn't agree with Sean and Fade's idea about drawing from movie fashion villains so she kind of wants to do her own thing. Her own thing seems to entail cutting up movie scripts and gluing them onto a dress form. *Insert laugh track here*

Tim talks to other people who are doing other things, the models come in for a highly uneventful fitting, and then everyone goes to bed. Then it's runway time, and the best part of the episode happens: The Return of HMG!!!!! Which really should have been the title of the episode, don't you think?

Ok so the Rate the Runway site has the looks in a different order than they were in on the episode, but they're still collected by teams, so I'm going to go through the looks in the order the site has them in instead of the order the walked out in.

Green Team:

Alexander: I found this look to be weird and heavy. Just watching it walk down the runway made me feel like I was suffocating under the weight of it. It's just all too much. The neckline and the weird fly away hemline both seem to be fighting for your attention and it all just feels like too much is going on. I like the way he used the film in alternating colors to make it look a bit more like fabric, but I would have loved for him to take this down a notch or two.

Emily: I think I might have liked this look if it weren't for the saddle bag hip bulges. It's an attempt at being artistic and special that just ends up looking forced and stupid. With that being said, I like the top. I don't know how much I want to forgive it for its odd fit issues, but it's not like she was using a material that would perfectly conform to the model's body, so hey.

Samantha: I find Samantha's look to be simple, straight forward, and lovely. The key word in unconventional materials challenges to me is movement. I always respond way more to materials that aren’t fabric but move a bit like fabric. And that’s what this look had. Even the top, made from those stiff CDs, had more movement to it than I expected. I don't think it's a look worthy of the top three or anything, but I certainly think it was the best look from this team.

Silver Team:

Amanda: This look screams “Everything and the kitchen sink!” I will say that it came together a bit more by the end than I anticipated when I was watching her work in the workroom, but the end result is messy and craftsy to me. It feels like it lacks a clear vision and artistic voice. I honestly hate it.

Korina: It's certainly a bit sexy and slinky in a way I like, and I also really like the green which is strung throughout this collection, but there's something about this dress that doesn't really do it for me. The black strips kind of put me in mind of grass. Not like you walk out side and that's what grass looks like, but more like the first grade class is making a field out of construction paper to put up on the cork board and they take the green sheets of paper and cut slits in them to make it look like grass. So that's a no from me, but I do love the top of the dress. It looks like a lot of thought and design went into creating it, so I'll give her credit there.

Kristine: The extent to which I hate this dress is a bit staggering. I like the idea a lot, but I think the execution is horrid. The top of the skirt portion is way too high, the braided top is horribly ill-fitting, and everything looks uncomfortable. I'm perfectly aware that I may be in the minority on this, but I really really hate it!

Blue Team:

Angela: .................................. I think Tim's look says it better than I could, so I'll let him convey it for me.

Fade: I really like this. I like the mix of hard and soft, but I also worry that the top might be a little bit too hard. It's so immovable that it feels a little affronting at times. But that's a small critique on an otherwise great dress.

My future husband Sean: I love love love love love love love this look. I have two very tiny problems with it: 1) I would have liked to see a few less straws on the shoulders in favor of something a little more streamlined. I thought the straws on the shoulder area made it look a little more costume-y. 2) I wish the black spots felt like they had been placed with a little more attention to detail. It looked very random. For me, random is the kind of thing I only like when it looks purposeful, which I understand is an odd contradiction, but there you have it. But again, I find those to be very small nit picky problems that I don't think anyone other than me would have.

Red Team:

Carrie: The sad thing is that I neither like nor dislike this dress. I feel like this team's failings are the failings of a team more so than an individual. By which I mean the pieces aren't horrible until you look at them together. I don't hate this, I certainly can see a rhyme and a reason behind it, and I like the way the film is arranged to give the illusion of fabric. I even like the cut of the dress and the way it works around the bust line and comes down to a point in the back of the skirt. But then you look at it against

Hernan: and things start to fall apart. Again, this dress isn't bad in and of itself, but it's really no different than Carrie's. The cut and shape are altered, but that doesn't do anything to eliminate the feel of looking at the same thing over and over again.

And then there's Sandy: She really should be taken outback and shot for this look. Everything about this screams petulant jerk who couldn't get her way so she's just going to begrudgingly pretend to go along with the leader's wishes and throw some BS together in the last minute. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It looks like she just tossed some film reel onto the model and called it a day. I'm honestly a bit offended by the presence of this on the show.

Purple Team:

Char: If I've learned one thing after years of Unconventional Materials challenges, it's that paper always just looks like paper. It never moves or fits like some of the other materials people choose. But with that being said, I love this look. It's cute and fun and the back is sleek and simple. I do think there's a slightly arts and crafts feel to it, which knocks it down a level or two, but ultimately I like it a lot.

Kini: This is a look I love in spite of myself. Looking at it in the photographs, I think the point could be made that there's a little much going on in the front. The crumpled up popcorn bags tend to look a little cheap and almost like a pinata, but I still really really love it. It bounces when it walks down the runway, and the braiding of the top is just exquisite. I do wish he'd gotten rid of the popcorn bunching on the top and just left that to the bottom portion of the dress; that way the top could have been nothing but the braided pieces, but I still love this look.

Mitchell: This is another one I love in spite of myself. I fully recognize I might be in the minority here, but I freakin love Purple Team. This look sparkles and shimmers in a way that could cause a seizure, but I really love it. The shimmering purple matched with the iridescent CD pieces, coupled with the open back, and the jagged edges of the whole thing is just beautiful to me. I may be the only one, but Purple Team are the winners of the night to me.

In the end, Heidi compliments Sean and Fade before telling Angela that her horrid POS kept her team away from the top spot. So instead, Silver Team is in the top and Red Team is in the bottom. This marks the second week in a row where I think the selection of the bottom makes perfect sense but the top looks are just baffling. I honestly don't know what the judges are seeing this season. If you want to tell me that Angela keeps her team from winning, I'm ok with that because her look really is pathetic, but I have a hard time thinking that the next best team out there is Silver.

But whatever, the judges praise Silver's cohesion and their use of color, and condemn Red for producing the same dress over and over again. Carrie tries her best to defend them by way of pointing out what they were doing before they decided to listen to Tim's advice, but as Zac correctly points out, that's pointless since they aren't being judged on what could have walked down the runway. When asked who should go home, it's clear that both Hernan and Carrie think it should be Sandy, and to their credit it should be Sandy. Everyone points out that her dress is the worst of the three. But Sandy has immunity, so her name really isn't on the table here. Which brings up the point that had the judges been smart last week and chosen a look that actually did deserve to win, the outcome of this week would have been more understandable and satisfying. But in a moment of brain damage they picked Sandy to win last week and as a result Carrie is sent home this week. She storms off in a well deserved furry, I thought, and isn't shy about letting Sandy have it when she gets back to the green room before Tim comes back and sends her to clean out her space. Oh yeah, and Amanda wins for some reason.

In the end, I'm left feeling a little torn. On the one hand, this is exactly the kind of episode I expect from PR at this point. It was paced well, the challenge was interesting and just difficult enough to keep the designers on their toes, and even if I didn't really appreciate the subject matter of the interview segments during the workroom section, I at least understand the need to allow us to get to know these designers a bit better, and I certainly think they did a better job of that this week than they did last week. But on the other hand, this judging just feels really really off. I agree with Carrie that she didn't deserve to go home. Sadly, the rules of the challenge were what they were which kind of tied everyone hands. But it's those rules that I think I have a problem with. Is this really the stage in the competition to keep the judging along these group lines? I agree that we should have been looking for cohesion, but I would have much rather had them choose three top and bottom looks irrespective of teams and grant a win and loss to the person that deserved it. If that had been done, I'm guessing we could have spoken to Sean, Fade and Angela and rightfully sent Angela home while still (maybe) giving Fade or Sean a well deserved win. And maybe given Sandy a typical warning that they'd honestly love to send her home but can't because of her immunity. But if we've learned anything from Zac, it's that we have to engage with what we were given and not what we wanted to see.

Stray Observations:

--First off, next week Thursday is my birthday and I'm going to be super busy on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. I can write the review Saturday morning or so if you guys don't mind waiting. But if that's too late, then someone else might want to take up the task of the write up. I should be good to go with the write ups again the following week. Julius, let me know what you want and we can go from there.

--I honestly didn't want to say anything because I really do think the Tim Gunn reaction shot speaks for us all, but Angela's dress looks like a child glued paper strips to a dress from. It really was just pathetic.

--Say what you will about Mitchell, but he was really great this episode with the comforting others thing. He was there with a hug for Sandy after her pointless freak out, and also had words of comfort for Angela after Heidi called her out in front of everyone. I don't find his typical Too Gay to Function personality appealing, but he honestly does seem like a really nice guy.

--The moment when Sandy was about to cry on the runway and Zac just overtly stopped her is my favorite moment of the night.

--Speaking of the lovely and adorable Zac Posen, just how much do you think it'd cost me to get him and Sean to make a sex tape together?

--I noticed that Amanda's look was one that I found myself hating more and more as the judges praised it. I felt the same way about Sandy's look last week, so there's that I guess.

--There's a part of me that's wondering how much of Sandy's mini break down might have been about cultural differences. I don't feel like I know these guys well enough to say this, and thusly it sounds a little stereotypical in my head, but maybe Sandy's just not used to dealing with someone a little more forceful, outspoken, and fiery as Hernan? So what she takes as being bullied and disrespected is really just him expressing his point in more typically Latin fashion? I think the argument for that could be made, but I don't know that I want to be the one to make it.

Project Runway S13 E1: "The Judges Decide"

First off, I owe everyone an apology. I've had a pretty crazy (but in a good way) kind of week, and PR coming back totally slipped my mind. Which is why it's been 5 days since the episode and I'm only just getting around to writing up the review, and for that, I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me, and then tell everyone you know that Project Runaways is back and will have more timely reviews up for the episodes for the rest of the season.

Secondly, maybe don't tell anyone about the show being back because to do so would be to subject them to this 13th season and if the first episode is any indication, that might be a punishment. You'll tell your friends, "On man, you've got to watch Project Runway and then follow this great blog that recaps the episodes! It's so much fun!" And then they'll watch it and they'll think you hate them for forcing them into such a shit show, and they'll never speak to you again. They'll move to the African safari and change their name in order to escape someone who must have so much animosity towards them and then they'll die alone of dysentery while wild animals gnaw on their feet. Friends don't let friends die of dysentery; as such, keep them away from Project Runway's 13th season.

Or maybe that's me being a bit harsh, but I watched the entire episode and left it thinking that after the full year of the useless PR knock offs Lifetime forced through, the producers of our little gem of a show somehow forgot how to make good reality TV. The episode starts with Tim telling us that there are 18 designers which will immediately be cut down to 15 in the first moments of the show. If you're anything like me, you watched these opening hours minutes wondering why we were subjected to such a thing. Instead of actually paying attention to what was happening on screen, I dedicated all of my brain power to discovering an answer. I came up with these distinct possibilities:

1. The producers hate us and thought, "Fuck it, we can waste their time with this ridiculous bullshit which should have all been taken care of before our cameras even started running!"
2. The show still has no idea what to do with its extended run time and decided it'd be fun to jerk off for the first half hour and hope no one noticed. No really, though, can someone tell me how long it took for us to get to the actual challenge? I downloaded found a copy of the episode without commercials, so on my copy it took like 20 minutes, but I'm guessing it was closer to 30 for others?
3. The producers thought this would give the viewers the chance to get to know the designers just a little bit better than the first episode usually does. More on this a little bit later. 

Either way, it all boils down to the same thing to me: stupid, boring, waste of time, and I probably should have went for a bathroom break instead of watching it. But let's examine what we might have learned about the contestants during this snooze fest of an episode. I do this because it brings up some good points and also because I have no desire whatsoever to actually engage with this episode on a point by point basis.

In his quick rough draft write up of the episode, Julius listed out the roster for the season as follows:

• Amanda Valentine: Originally from Season 11, Sister of Maroon 5.
      Reality Show Personality: The Elder Statesman
• Korina Emmerich: White-looking American Indian from Eugene, OR who designs for NYC woman.
      Reality Show Personality: Wannabe Villain
• Jefferson Musanda: Black Male, Hip Hop Dancer.
      Reality Show Personality: The Eager Beaver
• Emily Payne: San Francisco punk mom with a kids line
      Reality Show Personality: The Mom
• Sean Kelly: New Zealander who designs androgynously, and New Order Replacement Star
      Reality Show Personality: The Brit
• Char Glover: Single Black Woman from Detroit
      Reality Show Personality: Sassy Black Woman
• Kristine Guico: Grey Haired woman?
      Reality Show Personality: The Soon-To-Be-Cut Quiet Type
• Alexander Knox: The Tall Gay Guy with Hidden Style
      Reality Show Personality: The Affable One
• Mitchell Perry: South Florida guy with bad clothes; Zac Posen might want to sleep with him
      Reality Show Personality: The Obnoxious Bitch Who Throws Shade Because He's Untalented
• Carrie Sleutskaya: Babygoth who can design
      Reality Show Personality: The Youngster
• Hernan Lander: Spanish Guy who has previously shown at Fashion Week
      Reality Show Personality: The Hispanic
• Samantha Plasencia: Texas Hipster not from Austin
      Reality Show Personality: The Hipster
• Kini Zamora: Hawaiian who designs in denim
      Reality Show Personality: Hawaiian (yes, it is a personality type unto itself)
• Fade Zu Grau: The elder German who has a moment with Heidi
      Reality Show Personality: Dieter, Gay Edition
• Angela Sum: Asian immigrant, Computer Engineer
      Reality Show Personality: The Quiet Nervous Talented One
• Sandhya Garg: The Subversive Indian
      Reality Show Personality: The Oppressed One

For what it's worth, I read through his draft before I watched the episode and I thought it was probably a bit harsh. But then he e-mailed me and I watched the episode. His e-mail read thus:

I dunno if it's clear in that post, but one of the things I was also trying to do was point out that this season's characters were dangerously falling into both cliches and racial stereotypes to an extreme I don't remember it being in Project Runway. I dunno if I'm being overly sensitive, but everybody just seemed to be fitting a little too succinctly into various tropes. It was the Hispanic dude and the nervous Asian woman who were setting off my cliche-dar.

He gave me leeway to disagree with him if I felt the need to, but here's the thing I was left with after watching the episode: I neither fully agree nor fully disagree with these points. In the cases of certain contestants (Hernan, Mitchell, and Angela to be sure) I think he's on point. These people verge almost into caricature in their time on screen. But I didn't leave the episode feeling like that was the fault of the producers or the editors so much as just who these people are. Hernan doesn't have a strong grasp of English, which is clearly not his first language, and there's no real other way for him to be portrayed. Angela probably was raised in a house and a culture that frowned on failure which made her hypersensitive to the possibility of failing, and a bit neurotic. And everything Mitchell learned about being gay came from the sassy gay friends on sitcoms and the internet, and he never really developed beyond that. If this is who these people are, and I don't doubt for a second that it is, then can we criticize them or the show too much for showcasing that? This is a slightly different issue (in my opinion) than the way the episodes are edited to make the drama and the fights seem like much bigger deals than they actually are. With the exception of villains, who I think we all know are made by editing more so than their own actions sometimes, how much do we think reality TV creates character types?

But that isn't to say that these kinds of tropes aren't being used. I won't shame Julius, or anyone for that matter, for looking at this episode and seeing nothing deeper than caricatures because this is one of massive ways in which I think this episodes fails. Remember earlier when I said I thought the producers were attempting to give us a little bit more on the designers this episode than they tend to in the first episodes of past seasons? Well the effect of that here is actually the exact opposite of what they intended. Because we spend something of an inordinate amount of time with so many contestants, we find ourselves incapable of actually learning anything about any of them beyond the surface. Never is this clearer to me than in the workroom where we glance over everyone's design and back story ever-so-quickly before rushing off to the next person. It feels like Sean only barely gets into his "Moved from New Zealand" story before we're rushing off to talk to Angela. We whisk on over to Mitchell talking about his typically whimsical looks, and then quickly cut to Sandhya dying her fabric without any real context to Mitchell's statements. I don't know these people well enough to know anything beyond what I'm being told and what I'm being told feels like nothing. Cap all of that off with Tim visiting pretty much every fucking person in the workroom as quickly as possible, and you're left with no real people--just blurs of personality types in the distance.

So that's the fundamental problem that I had with this episode. With so much time being taken up with the pointless exercise at the top of the hour, we weren't left with much time to actually buckle down with the people who would be on the real show for the next number of weeks. And when we do get to the portion of the show that would be dedicated to them, be glance over way too many of them to get a good feel for anyone. What they should have done is start the season like they always do: give them a straight forward kind of challenge, and then only follow a handful a people (probably the contestants who'd end up in the top and bottom by the episode's end) and let us get to know them a bit better. Trust that we'll have enough time to get to know the rest as the season pushes on.

But pacing problems aren't the only issue with this season premiere; let's head out to the runway to catch a glimpse of the final nail in this episode's coffin. Guest judge tonight is Julie Bowen from Modern Family. In truth, Heidi said Modern Family and I got excited thinking I'd see the love of my life, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, but then she said Julie, and I rolled my eyes and realized an already bad episode was about to get so much worse. To her credit, I thought Julie was a good judge, but no one makes me happier than JTF, so screw it.

Sandhya: I want to give her credit for having a vision that is all her own, but I really hate this look. It isn't functional at all, and the unfinished element (purposeful though it clearly is) makes it look less than fashionable too. And the fabric is hideous no matter what the dye job might have been attempting. I hate it!

Angela: This look almost could have been worth it, but the horrible fit issues and the plumber's crack in the pants just dooms it. I really like the color of the top, but it doesn't really seem to do anything. There's a design element to it (by which I mean it doesn't look like just a standard and simple top), but I don't think it enhances anything. She's got a style that leaves me feeling like I wouldn't mind seeing more from her, but this was a swing and miss on her part.

Alexander: Here's someone else that I think has good ideas that maybe needed just a little more execution to pull it all together. I don't hate the look; I like the cowl style neckline even though I don't love the final shape of it, and I think the two fabrics he chose compliment each other well even if I don't think that they're all that pretty individually. In the end, it's just a baby doll dress with an interesting neckline. But it's OK.

Sean: This is the first look on the runway that I honestly loved. The front is well designed, the color blocking is beautiful, and the back took my breath away. The open back combined with that slit gave it a great sex appeal. I like it a little less looking at the pictures. It's got an odd fit to it which makes the model look like she's got a bit of a baby bump from the side, but on the runway, I seriously loved it!

Carrie: I honestly wanted to hate this look, but I didn't. I think the neckline and the keyhole cut out were just adorable. the shape along the hips was interesting, and not in a bad way, and the whole thing came together to be nice. I expected something a lot worse from her for some reason, and so I was pleasantly surprised by this.

Samantha: My exact notes read: "Huh. So that happened I guess." This is an example of someone being about as simple and boring as possible in order to just be safe, and congrats since she got her wish. But I didn't feel like there was anything to take away from this look at all.

Mitchell: Messy is the only thing I took away from this look. Everything from the design to the execution to the model's styling just screamed messy as hell. I hated it!

Kini: It's pretty, but I find it too literal. It's a Spring dress with a floral pattern. Yawn.

Jefferson: What the actual fuck happened here? Horrible fit on the top and the bottom, two pieces that don't know what they want to be and have no business going together. Just no! All around no on so many levels. And I haven't even gotten to the abundance of butt cheek visible when she turns around. Tasteless and yet boring at the same time. Now there's a feat.

Emily: I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I love the dress and the color of it, I don't hate the mixing of the two fabrics, but I honestly don't know that the fabric of the breastplate allows for what she wanted to do. There's an odd kind of bunching up around the neck of the dress flowing into that breastplate that just throws the look off a little. In the end, I don't hate it, but I don't think it's breath taking either.

Hernan: Boring. And another floral patterned Spring dress. I really wish no two designers had had the same fabric, esp this ugly ass fabric, but whatever. Or maybe I wouldn't mind if everyone had about the same fabric and just had to make it work? Idk, either way I hated this.

Korina: I'm guessing I'm in the minority here, but I seriously loved this look. It flowed, the fact that it was a one piece was interesting, and pants instead of a dress too, and I thought the train was really nice. The color was vibrant. Just loved everything about it, really.

Kristine: I love Kristine's look on the runway, but I hate it in the photographs. It doesn't photo well at all. The colors wash out and make it look a bit boring. But on the runway I thought it was great. The colors popped and blended well together, and look great against her model's skin tone. The amount of skin showing is literally perfect, and this finds the level of sexy that Jefferson's look missed so spectacularly. Plus, a dress with pockets! This is almost always a good thing in my book.

Amanda: Love it, love it, love it!!! I think that this shows why the returning designers have an edge over the competition: the look is clean and polished and shows she knew how to maximize her one day time limit. It may not be the most unique or innovative design on the night (though I think the pattern on the pants and the fine details on the back of the top suggest otherwise), but I thought it had a refinement to it that a lot of the other pieces were lacking.

Fade: It's possible that I might have a bit of a crush on Fade. I loved all of his little Atheist clothes and jewelery throughout the episode, which I thought did a better job of informing me of who he is than anything the producers choose to tell me about any of the other contestants. But I say this in order to say that I liked his look without knowing why I liked it. So there's that.

Char: I liked it. And that's honestly all I had to say about it one way or the other lol.

Ok so Jefferson, Mitchell, and Angela end up in the bottom three, which is no big deal, but then Char, Sandhya, and Amanda were in the top. Or well, Amanda is asked to stick around, I don't know if her critique really sounds like the look was firmly in the "top" since the judges sound like they're just split on it. So why not make her safe and allow us to hear from Sean, Fade, Kristine, or Korina? All of whom I thought had strong looks and probably could have left the judges a little more unified. Keeping Amanda on the runway is an odd choice, but naming Sandhya the winner is something that honestly makes no kind of sense to me at all. This is another look the judges are kind of split on with Heidi loving it (surprise surprise) and the others being complimentary but no one really gushing. Julie's points about the messiness of it make perfect sense, but in the end, she beats out Char whose look had way more finish to it. It might have left me feeling underwhelmed, and as such I have no clue why it makes it into the top 3, but at least I liked it whereas Sandhya's I hated. So Sandhya wins and Jefferson goes home (which is deserved enough not to make anyone too upset, I'd guess), and ultimately the door is opened for some really odd and probably inconsistent judging this season. Or maybe I'm being too harsh? Maybe the winning look was a lot better than I'm giving it credit for and the 4 or 5 looks that I think deserved to be on the stage in its place are really horrible. I admit every time I start a season of this show that I know nothing about fashion and episodes like this serve to remind me of that fact. But either way, I left this episode feeling like if this is what we have to look forward to, this is going to be one long and unpleasant season indeed. Now might be a good time for us Runaways to actually take hold of our namesake and hit the bricks.

Stray Observations:
-- Sorry again that it took so long to get this up and running, and also sorry that the finished product is so long. With so little meat on the bones of the actual episode, I think we were left with a lot of *other* stuff to talk about. Plus the earlier episodes and their larger number of contestants tend to leave a lot to talk about when the runway comes around. Maybe we shouldn't touch on every single look that walks down the catwalk? What do you guys think?

-- Tim says something about this season being "Lucky number 13." I think you've got that wrong, you fabulous man, you.

-- Not to harp on the subject too much, because I honestly do think that Julius makes great points about the stereotyping in this season, but one of the places I think his outlook falls through just a little bit is with Char. I think we've seen black women on reality shows who were way more "sassy black woman" than she actually comes off. I honestly found her to be way more down to earth low key than I expected.

-- As much as I'm kind of crushing on Fade, Sean is clearly going to be the contestant I'll have to work on not drooling over in these reviews every week. Just too cute for words.

-- Where the FUCK is HMG?!?!? I didn't watch any of the waste of time that was the intervening seasons of the show all last year, but did something happen to oust him? I mean what's the point of the show without HMG?

-- Lastly, in case anyone's interested, I'm actually recapping each episode of So You Think You Can Dance over on my own personal blog. Feel free to join me over there if you want another companion to your summer Reality TV viewing. In the mean time, everyone spread the word that we're back for this season of Project Runway and let's get our great community and commenters  back over here to have some fun for the next few weeks.

Under the Gunn S1 E13: "Finale"

On Monday, I finally got the chance to attend a weekly screening here in Seattle of Rupaul's Drag Race, hosted by Ben DelaCreme, a local drag queen. Luckily, this week was also co-hosted by last year's winner, the amazingly awesome Jinx Monsoon, who was a local drag force.

Stay with me for a little while, and I'll tie in the relevance of Drag Race to Under the Gunn. First, I'm not a normal Drag Race watcher (Bad Gay!), so this story is about a first time watch for this season. Anyways, if you watched Rupaul's Drag Race this week, you know that there was a total of THREE HOURS of Drag Race this week, with 2 back to back full episodes, followed by 2 episodes of Untucked. And, if you watched this week, then you know that Dela was on the chopping block in the first episode and almost on the chopping block on the second episode.

What was amazing when watching Drag Race with a local crowd who all knew and loved Dela was the sheer amount of caring and relief that happened this week. The event is a free event, with a cash bar and dinner, please tip the volunteer staff. It happened in a huge ballroom, and the whole house was standing room only. I stood for 2 of the three hours (because people needed to leave before midnight, instead of the usual 10:30pm), plus an additional 90 minutes before the show in order to secure my section of the wall. Doors were open at 6:30 for a 9:00 showtime. People were lined into the hall. Of course, this was in Seattle's gayborhood, where we all know and have loved Ben Delacreme. We've seen him perform. He does theatre shows here in Seattle. 

Everybody in that packed ballroom was charged when Dela was on the chopping block and had to lip sync for her life. When Darienne, the chopping block teammate, was declared the lip sync winner the house was on the edge. And, when Dela got a pass, the whole room cheered and was practically a riot. Namely, because we were invested in the contestant who was on the chopping block. 

While watching Drag Race, I realized just how intimately Drag Race allowed us to get with the contestants. One of the things that Drag Race does is give all of their contestants the room to breathe and to tell their life stories. We see them relate to each other as they are working to create. In the two hours, I learned that Joslyn was a young queen who idolized Courtney because they were from the same scene, and that Courtney felt she was above Joslyn. Bianca is a mother hen who took people under her wing and criticized people in order to help them develop throughout the show. Laganja is a very young queen (24) who, like all the other queens, used her persona in order to project a powerful image...but was also rather fake and constructed drama around herself. Trinity was an insecure queen who was taken under Bianca's wing and finally gained the confidence to fly. In 2 hours, there were enemies, friends, constructed plots, and drama...all while they were also working on whatever bits they were working on and creating their costumes for the next day.

The same care was not given to Under the Gunn and its editing. Throughout this season, Under the Gunn has struggled with being overstuffed and trying to minimize the drama. Which is OK considering the mega drama that happened with last fall's Project Runway. But, what Under the Gunn didn't keep in, at least until the last minute, was our designer's personal lives. In turn, Sam's reveal last week of his bullying felt more than manipulative. The other thing that has happened is that, of all the designers left, the only two that have a point of view are not the ones that make good clothing. Sam and Asha both are trying to have distinctive looks to their clothing, but they're both inconsistent. Nobody has a singular style like, for instance, Patricia (like her or not, she had a vision), or even Portland's steampunk style. 

I know I'm beating a dead horse one last time, but the construction of Under the Gunn is overstuffed for its running time. It wants to focus on the creation process, focus on the designers' interpersonal team relationships, and focus on the mentors and their relationships. Of the mentors, the only one who had a positive learning arc has been Uncle Nick, who learned to let his designers breathe...over and over again. And...there wasn't much room for anything else. Mondo didn't learn. Anya didn't develop. The designers had emotions from exhaustion but...they didn't lead to anything

Who am I rooting for, while going in to the episode? Oscar. He's a great tailor and has made some really good outfits, even if I can't quite see a running throughstyle. He has time management, and probably could be a decent businessman. And, he's genuinely nice. Second choice would be Shan. Sure I've been ribbing him for being one of the femmiest straight boys on the show, but he's good people and he also makes solid looks for the most part, though generally I haven't seen much of a throughline. Sam is too underdeveloped as a designer. And, Asha...well...admittedly I kind of like some of the pieces she does, but she really pulled one out on Natalia.

It is with this mindset that I sat down to watch the final episode of Project Runway: Under the Gunn.

It seems that it's not only I who thinks that the designers aren't well drawn, nor are their character arcs. The show opens with a brief series-long recap of the designers. But, even these brief pre-credits recaplets stays rather shallow.

• "Asha has been improving all season, and winning one challenge!" 
• "Sam has been a judge's favorite, but has recently begun struggling with self-confidence." 
• Oscar is a "charming Cuban-American" who was "once a long shot." 
• Shan "has impressed not only with his designs, but with his speed and skills."

But, we only have an hour to get through everything, and there's a LOT stuffed in this episode. There's 3 days of designing, finishing the designers' stories, 4 runways of 5 outfits each, finishing the mentors' story arcs, getting in all the marketing, and a couple additional marketing bumps we've not seen before.

So, today's is sponsored by a car company, who loans the designer groups use of a car to go to Mood. The designers have 3 days to do 5 outfits in a mini-collection. So, it's an All-Star styled finale as opposed to a full season finale. Just in case you didn't guess.

During the initial sketch period, we're also attempting to solidify people's story arcs through their clothing. Sam wants to do a story of a girl whose armor disintegrates throughout the five looks, reflecting the breakdown he put on last week. Nick encourages Oscar to tell his story of being a Cuban-American and the struggle to get here. Shan needs to pull from his heart because he's exhausted. Asha wants to do an Egyptian Queen in Brooklyn...because she has an ego. Or something.

We head off to Mood where the designers have 1 hour to spend $2500. ZOMG. And, then, there's a brief in-show commercial for eyebrow waxing or sculpting or something. Whatever. It lasts all of 17 seconds, and you barely even notice that it existed. Because, we don't have time!!!

Next we get reintroduced to the last designers eliminated, because the designers get helpers. On Day 2, the designers get a visit from their families. Because the designers aren't robots, despite them not having much of a story, and have families and boyfriends and wives and whatever. Oscar's mom is so adorable, but she only is on for a brief shot. But, they're only there to say that these people have families as their back stories aren't highlighted, but the designers' success are highlighted because...I dunno. Family segment: 2min 15sec.

We end our first block by doing one half of a mentor critique, for Asha.

And, it's time for our first commercial break!

DAMN!!  So, when I wrote the first part of this recap, I hadn't yet watched the episode. I wrote it earlier in the day today, and was truly my feelings about the show overall. I didn't realize that the Finale episode would exacerbate and highlight and underline all of the issues that I have with the condensed over-filled format that Under the Gunn took on.

So, the mentor critiques are interestingly buzzy. Asha is regressing back to costumes. Sam gets a confidence boost from Tim Gunn when Mondo was critiquing. Shan is basically told to find himself. And, Oscar is making a greatest hits collection.

We don't get any time for model fittings. We don't get any time for interaction between designers. We get some confessional critiquing of each other's work, and defense of their own work. And then it's time for our second commercial break. Whole time of second block: ~5 minutes.

The third segment begins with 40 seconds of fellating the theater and stage. We get a brief period with makeup and hair. And then another 20 seconds of fellating the event/red carpet. And, it's time for runway already!! Jebus!

Tonight's special guest judges: Heidi Klum, Neil Patrick Harris.

Sam
His runway really started off strong and slightly experimental ready to wear. But, as the armor elements fell away, the clothes just started getting more and more normal. The first outfit is a glam showstopper for a winter collection with a glinty hard-edged look that just looks gorgeously asymmetrical. The second continues, but has an interesting green highlight tab. It's almost a bit Christmasy and overly simple, but the vertical graphic of the stripes really sells the look. Then, it goes straight into off-the-rack. The third look is pretty, but it's a shirt and skirt. The fourth look is the same, but the fifth look is the worst because we've all see that dress time and again. So, much like the competition, he started off strong but then petered away. I don't think he intended the petering part.

Shan
Hard and Soft. Leather and Lace. This collection was ALL over the place. I really liked all of the individual pieces but there was a lot in each piece, and their color disparities just was all over the map. What he didn't really do was spend time crafting a runway show, even by choosing the order correctly. He starts off with a bad-ass warrior bitch goddess outfit straight out of Tomb Raider or Resident Evil, jumps into earthy and brown leather and lace that's just hectic, goes straight into a booming red simple outfit, which leads back into a medium simple beige look, which comes back to red and black leather with a bomb ass jacket. It feels like a cohesive collection that could have been helped by a lot of reordering. Open with the second look that has all of the confused elements that make up everything, lead that into the fourth kind of boring look, have that bleed into the red simple dress, which leads into the bombing leather jacket look with then finishes with the video game heroine look. It tells a better story at least. A lot of these elements are damned awesome (A LOT), but it's all a bit much and confused.

Asha
Costumes. I thought they were IJ costumes. But, Studio 54 did cough up many of these outfits. There isn't much that I like about any of the pieces. The best piece were the awesome red leggings under the caftan that everybody was going gaga for.

Oscar
It's a cuban-tinged greatest hits look. His collection suffered because of his first look, which is dull. and should have been hidden much later in the collection. Pieces 2-5 were kind of amazing. The second look especially. But, I keep wanting one more piece after his final look. He needed to end on a showstopper, and his final look was sort of dull. He needed one more wow moment at the end. But, he only had 3 days to create the whole collection, so mad props. However, other than the lace, this collection didn't feel all that cohesive. It was just a lot of really good fashions from a bunch of different designers.

Not so surprisingly, I found myself constantly agreeing with both Heidi Klum and Neil Patrick Harris. Sam had the most cohesive collection, but it was really ready to wear and started fading after look 3. Asha was a complete miss. Shan was good, though it was a touch much. And, Oscar had great pieces and was a good designer, but he didn't have a solid point of view. So, who do you choose? They were all deeply flawed in a way.

Personally, I would probably have given it to Sam because he has a point of view, but I don't know that he had that adventurous of a style in order to make it in his own line. Oscar is good, but he doesn't have a point of view. But, I don't feel disappointed in the choice they made, which was to give Oscar the win.

And, so ends Under the Gunn. Oscar wins. Which, yay. And, is surprising to me because I underestimated him at the beginning due to his tendency to overdesign. But, I can't say that this format worked for me. There was too much time spent on the mentors who ended up not having much of a character arc, and not enough time getting to know the designers. By the time Under the Gunn realized that we didn't know who the designers were, it became too little too late. This format would have been better in a 90 minute format.

What allows The Voice to work more than Under the Gunn is that The Voice has 3 hours every week. A two-hour episode on Monday and a one-hour episode on Tuesday. Or, maybe that's Tuesday/Wednesday. It gives everything room to breathe, and doesn't feel so overstuffed. Maybe with a 90-minute format, at least, the show would have been afforded more time to get to know the designers in the beginning and thus let the viewers invest in the designers, even if they didn't have specific design voices.

And, it seems the Project Runway year is over. One of Project Runway prime, one of All Stars and one of Under the Gunn. Whew. Good luck. Thanks for reading!

Random Observations

• "Your son's hands; I am in awe." Teehee!
• "He makes clothes that are functional and believable." - I'd hope so...
• "I hate coutour" - Oh, Sam.
• "I call my collection 'Hipster Nonsense.'" - Ugh
• "I was getting 1920s circus carny coutour. Not my favorite." AMEN!!
• "I also liked Sam!" - Heidi Klum, always being difficult. Love you, Heidi!

Under The Gunn S1 E12: "Superhero Fashion"

OK fellow readers, here we are! We're almost done with this season's set of episodes. We're down to four, and after tonight, we'll be down to three. Hopefully, Asha will be gone, but it could be Sam. I remember that all three were in the finale clip we saw at the beginning of the season, so those are the only two possible outcomes, right? Right?

It's been a long season. The premiere was in 2 separate 90-minute blocks. There was an episode where we didn't have an elimination. We started off episode 3 with 12 designers, have knocked off 8 of them, and here we are.  *sigh*

I'm gonna be blunt. I'm finding it hard to get behind most of the designers this week. I know you are too. I'm rallying against Asha, but even that just seems unworthy of my energy. Maybe I'm having a Project Runway meltdown.

Speaking of meltdown, today we go to Meltdown Comics where the Marvel juggernaut can get in some free advertising for whatever superhero movie is coming out this week, as well as their comic books. And, it's also advertising for a Tim Gunn edition of Iron Man. But, really, it's all about Marvel because god forbid anybody read or learn about any of the independent geeky comic labels that exist, like Fantagraphics (Seattle!), Dark Horse, or Image. 

Anyways, we're introduced to the VP of Animation, Cort Lane...which...um...hot! Well, except for his hair. Cort, you're really hot, but you're soooo fucking WeHo. Does he bleach his hair? It looks like it in other photos. He's a hot cub, I just want hot cubs to not have be so affected by the shallow WeHo standards, which are so plastic and unsexy it's not even funny. Still, I'd not kick him out of bed. Maybe he could replace Mondo for a week so I can gaze at he all episode.

The goal this week is to pick one of four superheroes and to make a female outfit inspired by these superheroes, without going to costume. Oscar chooses Gamora, the most dangerous woman in the universe. Asha chooses Falcon, the first African-American superhero. Sam chooses Hawkeye, a rebel. And, Shan chooses Captain Marvel, formerly Ms Marvel, a strong woman or something. Why, yes, Marvel does have a couple of female superheroes...apparently. Just because Gamora is a side or group character in most of her comics, doesn't mean she doesn't count! Shut up!

The main thrust of this week's drama is Sam and Shan centric. Sam gets stuck in a gloomy depressed place because he's been all alone and under pressure for a month, and now that he's in the final four, he knows that it's time to let his drama fly so he can be in the final three! First he chooses Hawkeye because he's a rebel. Then, he starts reading the Hawkeye comic book and sulking in the green room so everybody can see him sulking in the background. Then he opens up about being teased on the bus as a kid...which was so done last season. "Just like what every gay kid has to go through." And, then, at the end of the episode, he talks about his suicide attempts! WAY TO GO SAM! 

Sorry if I sound a bit cynical, but, throughout the episode, he hit a lot of different buttons. Not that it's not a typical story of gay people around the world, but it seemed rather calculated compared to other reveals. Especially given what he eventually ends up with.  But, we'll get to that when the time is right...

Shan is also feeling lonely, but he constantly reminds us that YES, Shan is straight, and YES, Shan is married with three kids. Stop thinking he's gay! He's very married, thank you. Oscar also wants some drama time, but his attempts at creating drama is so half-assed compared to bullying and suicide. Oscar only has semi-low confidence due to a bad critique last week. I have to say, I respect his trying not to fabricate drama to save his ass. Asha saved her ass by throwing Natalia under the bus a couple weeks ago, so she doesn't need to be the star of this week. And, yes, I'm still bitter about that.

Sam's design has been waylaid by his day-long depression, so he only has a variety of fabrics to show with an explanation of what he's doing. He has a LOT of fabrics. A LOT. Purple, and polka-dot, and another patterns, and another color and things are color blocked and...it's all confused. But, because we have to walk on eggshells with Mondo and his positivity, Tim tells him that this is SMASHING, and that's in a good way. By the time we get to the model fitting, his whole top is completely confused. There's purple underneath a black and white hash pattern with a thick black shoulder strap. It's like the 80s got drunk and vomited all over the 90s. And, to add to it, he gives his model an afro, adding in the 1970s. 

We finally boogie down to the runway. This week's special guest judge is Jaime Alexander, a co-star of Thor 2. See! There are females in Marvel movies!!

• Oscar (Team Nick): It's a borderline costume. I mean it's a badass outfit that totally captures powerful aspects while also emphasizing the model as a female. The cloak is kind of cool. but, its the giant panels of fabric that extend from the shoulders that take it into costume land for me. They're unnecessary but would look cool in slow-mo.  It's rather Gamora, but not literal.
• Asha (Team Mondo): A Grecian goddess meets a warrior. It's not bad. It's just not that superhero to me. It's a little too soft to be warrior. And, more than that, I don't see any connection from the hard-edged urban Falcon to the Grecian goddess. Maybe I'm missing it though.
• Sam (Team Mondo): Wut?! You're kidding, right? I'm sorry you guys, but...this is a clown outfit. Those pants are amazing pajama clown pants. The top is an amazing bib that doesn't match the pants. The back of the top is long and deep (because superheroes don't wear bras) with all sorts of manner of straps hanging down in weird directions. Then there's the bit that's stained. It's a fucking mess. It's not boring, but it's not good.
• Shan (Team Anya): LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Hard-edged bad ass dress with leather straps. I mean, we've seen bits and pieces of it before. But, put together it is a great and amazing outfit that is all strength and fierceness. Amazing. 

The judging makes good observations. You guys, I haven't mentioned the judging much, but I think the judges on this show are actually really good. There isn't much egregious terrifying lapses in judgement, and they say things that I think we're all thinking. The only time things go haywire is supposedly after Sam breaks down on the runway. He doesn't bring up his suicide attempts on the runway literally, saving that for the asides. Or, at least that's the way it's edited. Anyways, after the suicide attempt reveals, suddenly everybody starts revealing their private parts of their lives and say that Sam's outfit is interesting. For some reason. And, nobody wins. Nobody loses.

What a gyp. Finale is a one-parter next week with special guests Heidi Klum and Neil Patrick Harris! If there's one way to get me to be excited for next week, it's fucking Neil Patrick Harris. OMG, that guy is awesome.

Stray Observations:

• Cort Lane is really hot, but he has nothing on Handlebar Moustache Guy. *swoon* Maybe they could get their own reality show together? I know, I've been swooning over HMG for years now, but...he's so fucking hot.
• Asha was hilarious. "Sam isn't being himself. He's not even talking to me!!!" It's so Asha centric, I couldn't even deal.
• Oscar is totally channelling Bruce Willis with his hat choice.
• No, Mondo, Asha did not expose such a private part of her soul. That was just an outfit. And kind of a storebought one compared to previous works.
• The Trevor Project is totally worthwhile. I highly recommend passing their glory around. The more people who know about The Trevor Project, the better. Because the more people who know, the more people who will use them, and the more lives that may be saved. Which is a good thing. Just keep the trauma off the runway.