Project Runway: S15 E10 "A Power Trip"

After a couple years of writing these reviews, I'm going to take this moment to try and get a little personal information out of you guys. Namely, I want to know how many of you smoke pot? More specifically, how many of you smoke pot while watching Project Runway? Does it make the experience better? I do not smoke pot often, I certainly don't smoke it while watching and reviewing this show, but this week's episode made me really rethink that particular life choice.

While I don't think that this season's failings are as horrible as some of the show's lowest low points in the past, I do still think this season is failing overall. Some part of it is the sheer lack of personality. We've been complaining about that all season long, and there's certainly nothing that can be done about it this late in the game. But on an episode like this, the problem isn't actually with the contestants, its with the editors knowing nothing about telling a long form story.

The Challenge

First the particulars: this week sees the Marie Claire challenge. Dexter is quick to point out that he's already won a Marie Claire fashion shoot, so I fail to see what makes this challenge special. It's about designing an editorial look for a powerful woman. To get in the mood, everyone gets a helicopter ride over New York, but let's be honest, that didn't matter in the slightest. 

So where'd this episode ultimately fail? It was pretty much meant to be the story of Nathalia's breakdown. From the start, it's pretty clear Nathalia is getting the main edit. Savvy viewers know that that typically means she's either going to win or go home. That fact isn't really a problem, it's been the way of things since the beginning of time on this show. But so much of Nat's unraveling is viewed through the lens of "Jenni is gone, and now Nathalia doesn't know what to do."

I'll be the first to admit that even with weekly viewings and writeups of this show, I miss things. I watch with such a fine toothed comb looking to tease out major moments and themes that sometimes the smaller things can fall by the wayside. But can someone honestly tell me about one time in the past ten episodes that we saw this particular relationship playing out?

This has been something I've complained about with PR in the past. If you know you've got a full season to edit, and I can't help but to assume that a lot of the editing takes place well after most of the season has been shot, then how can you not start crafting narratives sooner? So often it feels like the editors are grasping at straws on what will or won't pan out in the future. So we get extended segments about Jenni's laugh, but nothing ever comes from it other than people repeating that they find it charming. Instead, they could have focused on her relationship with Nathalia and all of this would have had more weight. Imagine how much more stressful last week's elimination would have been if we'd known about their dynamic. For that fact, imagine if it had been Nat and Cornelius up there in the bottom two. While their friendship hasn't been as front and center as Erin and Dexter's has, the fact that they have a relationship is obvious and has been talked about in the past.

All in all, this was a swing and a miss for PR. They built the episode on a faulty foundation. A foundation that's only faulty because they did nothing at all to stabilize it prior to putting it into effect. And just when I was ready to throw the entire episode out with the bath water, the ending happened. 

The Runway

Dexter: Again, do I hate this or do I just hate him? I honestly can't tell anymore. It's the same damn shoulders we've seen from him before, and they're even less flattering this time. I guess the look says powerful woman in the "Mysterious lady of the evening" way, but I don't think that's ever what the Marie Claire challenge is looking for. All in all, I simply don't see the point of this. 

Nathalia: I don't want to be too hard on this because it's actually not as bad as I expected it to be on the dress form. However, that doesn't mean it isn't bad. I think the biggest problem here is that it seems like it wants to be a costume, but it didn't go far enough to actually be a costume. It reminds me of a super hero who is trying to change out of their business wear and into their costume but got stuck halfway. 

Roberi: Remember what I said last week about hating mixing patterns? Forget it because I was clearly insane. I don't love this or anything, but this strikes me as the way to mix patterns successfully. That whole thing looks like it goes together, and the movement is really spectacular. Roberi continues to be squarely in the middle for me: I neither love nor hate the things he produces, but I totally understand why others would praise him. 

Mah-Jing: When the look stands at the end of the runway and all we get is that long shot of it, I hate it. It looks messy and haphazard, but when the camera zooms in and we can see it in more detail, I actually really like it. I wonder if there are more subtle construction issues with some of those denim cutouts, but if not, then kudos to him. It's two weeks in a row that I've enjoyed Mah-Jing's looks. 

Cornelius: I'll say this for it: I really love the concept. I think the construction is spoton. I like the pop of color patches, but I think they're the wrong colors. And I think the one on the butt cheek looks silly and out of place. I think if he could rethink the color palette of the entire outfit, it would be a lot better. But with that being said, I don't think it's horrible. 

Laurence: Last week I complained that Laurence's look for her daughter didn't show enough skin, and what do we get this week? Open back! And it's perfect. This is also a departure for Laurence. She still uses leather, but there's no jacket, and she uses a print on the skirt, and all of it really works for me. It's all a little too distressed in places to feel like something someone would really wear to work, but it does look editorial. Love it!

Erin: Cute is the word for this. And Cute is a good word, I don't want to knock cute, but cute is not the word that should be used for looks in this challenge. While this is surely a step up from what she had in the workroom, in the end it's just a cute (and really simple and under-designed) dress with a lot of sparkle. 

Rik: Someone, I think it was Dexter, pointed out that the back of Rik's dress shouldn't have just been simple white, and I'm going to agree with him. The dress is really striking and unique when you watch it walk, but then she turns around and it put me in mind of a very cumbersome smock an artist would wear while she's painting. Sadly, that brings the entire look down a few notches. If he'd just done the entire look in a kind of wrap in that fabric, I think it would have been much better. 

Judgement

Here's an odd thing about the blind runway show: I wonder if the judges had known before hand that Laurence's look belonged to her, would they have kept her around to talk to her more? This is one point in which her departure meant that she should have been either complimented or chastised for going away from what she knows and does best, but on the simple merits of the dress alone, they didn't love it or hate it enough to keep it on the runway. That's interesting. 

The top and bottom is a bit of a mixed bag this week. Mah-Jing, Cornelius, and Erin are in the top, but the judges are lukewarm on Erin. Dexter, Nathalia, and Rik are in the bottom, but Rik is about even too. They like the front of his dress but ultimately think the entire thing is unfinished because the back is such a let down. That's everyone except the editor of Marie Claire who loves the entire thing and admits it's her favorite. 

The real surprise, at least for me, is how much they love Cornelius' dress. It's probably the best thing he's done in awhile, but only one of the judges points out that it's not as editorial as some of the other looks. Heidi loves it and wants to wear it. Nina calls it powerful, which I honestly don't see. They all love how well constructed it is, and that at least makes sense to me. I may not love it as much as they do, but I can't fault them either. 

Dexter's look they hate though. The shoulder pads are called gimmicks, and Heidi and Nina are quick to point out that we've seen them before. Nina in particular says that the only manner in which they worked last time, to the extent that they can be said to have worked at all, is due to the element of surprise. But now that he's spent that, it's just a bore. The shoulders also aren't as well constructed as they were before, and Heidi points out that he didn't get a good review the last time he sent them down, so why send them down again? Dexter tries to sell it as "Well some of the other designers have also tried to establish their own aesthetic" but no one's dumb enough to buy that. 

The strong edit for Nathalia is revealed to be a bottom edit. The word costume is thrown around multiple times, and while Heidi likes the fit of the pants, Zac takes issue with the overall poor construction. 

After the closer look, which we'll talk about a little more in a minute, Heidi issues the dreaded pronouncement that "one or more of you will be out." The double elimination isn't really automatic after the Tim Gunn save. I tend to think that they budget for it in overall season length when planning everything out. So unlike other shows where a lack of an elimination means the only choice is to get rid of two contestants to stay on schedule, PR seems to be able to work around it. But the double elimination is always a fun and shocking tool, and I wish they'd use it more often. 

Cornelius racks up his first win of the season and seems to justify Tim saving him. From there, it's a quick offering of safety for Rik, and an out for Nathalia, but Dexter hangs around on the runway. If you're anything like me, then you noticed that before naming a winner, Heidi said one or more of you, but after ushering off the top three looks, she said "one of you." I was very disappointed at this point and assumed the double elimination was off the table. And when Rik was named safe, I thought that that proved my suspicions. So when Dexter is the last person on the runway, I thought the judges were just going to scold him some more. I thought that because of the closer look at the garments, 

You see, it's brought to light while the judges are looking over the clothes that Dexter didn't even design the undies his model is wearing. So in truth, if it hadn't been for her own contribution, he would have sent a naked model down the runway in a boring lace dress and an ugly jacket. I thought he'd get a stern talking to for being so lazy. But instead, Heidi just looks at him and says, "You're out!" and I honestly gasped and did a happy dance. 

While I don't think the simple lace dress he designed was ugly, I do think Dexter deserved to be out here. There's no design element to that lace dress; the fabric does all the heavy lifting. And not giving her something to wear underneath it smacks of laziness. This is not an acceptable point in the competition to be lazy and under-design a look. All of that is my way of saying that I think Dexter was going to make it through this week until the moment Tim told the judges he had nothing to do with the lingerie. The knowledge that he was only a step away from sending a naked woman down the runway sealed his fate. And then there were six. 

Loose Threads

--In my One Way Monkey write up, I admitted how sweet it would be if Laurence won on the challenge when Erin is sent home, but I have to admit that Cornelius getting his first win when Dexter gets Auf is equally awesome. 

--Also, while I don't love Cornelius, kudos to him for being more gracious in victory than Dexter was the week Tim had to save him. I never thought I'd call Cornelius the bigger man, but here we are. 

--While I am happy for Dexter to be going home, I will say it's quite surprising in that Nathalia feels like a legit culling of dead weight, but Dexter feels more like a surprise or dramatic shakeup kind of Auf.

--Other people are claiming that Erin's righted the ship, but I'll personally believe that when I see it. If she's not out on the next episode, I'd be a little surprised.

--At one point during her meltdown, Nathalia remarks "I didn't think that the competition would be this difficult." Bitch, this is Project Runway, what the fuck did you expect? A walk through the fucking park?

--After this week, my top four would be Laurence, Rik, Mah-Jing, and Roberi. But the truth is that I don't know what anyone will do going forward. Tim having saved Cornelius throws things off because I do tend to think that the judges are loath to get rid of someone after Tim's saved them. And Mah-Jing and Roberi can't be seen as anything other than wild cards. Mah-Jing's come on in the last two challenges, and that feels like a "getting hot at the right time" story, but if he regresses to the mean next challenge, I think he could easily be off. And if I'm wrong and Erin really has course corrected, then she'll sail right into the finale. It's not often that I say this and mean it in regards to PR, but I think it really is anyone's ball game. 

Project Runway: S14 E10 "Crew's All In"

In it's 14th season, it's safe to say that the "real woman" challenge has become a PR staple. But I think the truth is that the show's pretty much never really done it "right." Or maybe right isn't the best term here; suffice it to say I can't think of a "real woman" challenge that hasn't been at least slightly off putting. Which on one hand really isn't PR's fault. By it's very nature, these makeover based challenges have to be a bit problematic. You're taking real live people and telling them they need a makeover by a (pseudo) professional designer. There's really no way to do that gracefully or tactfully. But maybe that very makeover aspect of the challenge is the problem?

What I mean by that is there's an entire industry within fashion that's dedicated to "plus-size" models. Granted, in the modeling industry, "plus-size" can often just mean anything above a size zero or so, but still. If the core of these challenges is about seeing if the designers can both design a flattering look for someone not of typical model proportions, and can keep their vision while still serving a client, then why not hire models from these agencies, tell them they're the clients, and let the designers design for them?

The more important question is why, after 14 seasons, do I still have to try and fix Project Runway? I guess that's neither here nor there. This year, the designers are told they'll be making over one of the PR crew members. On the one hand, I'd love to know how the selection process for who would be getting the makeovers went. Was the crew asked who'd want to be a part of it and then offer their consent, were people randomly selected, or was it just a backstage bitch fest about who needs the makeover the most? But on the other hand, I'm sure the answer would make me lose even more faith in everything, so I'm best not knowing.

Swapnil and Merline get the clearest loser edits of the episode as from the start their meetings with their clients go horribly. Merline's client starts off by saying how much she didn't want to be paired with Merline, and how uninterested in Merline's "architectural" design aesthetic she is. Merline suggests making a coat in her typical fashion, the client shoots that idea down, Merline makes it anyway. In other words, they're off to a great start. Swapnil's client explains how simple and paired down she likes her looks to be, Swapnil says she should be more of a bombshell. She says that's not her, but he puts his fingers in his ears and basically yells "Lalala, I'm not listening, I know you better than you know yourself," and goes on to sketch up and design something she could never be happy in.

For this challenge, everyone is given $200, a trip to Mood, and two days. The Project Runway producers spare no expense when it comes to trying to make their frumpy employees into people they can stand to look at everyday. And good for them. But of course, like clockwork, as soon as two days are mentioned for the challenge, cue Swapnil doing nothing for long stretches of time and taking multiple smoke breaks. He neither utilizes his time well, nor creates something his client would want. It's really obvious by this point that it's time for him to go.

As if to make it even more obvious, Tim visits and meets with everyone. Everything is horrible in one way or another, and no one's client is truly happy. I'm going to take this moment to remind everyone that this is the tenth episode of the season; the contestants left comprise this season's top six. Ostensibly, these are the six best designers that tried out for and made it on to Project Runway's 14th season. Let that sink in for a bit before you then remember/realize that NONE of them managed to create a look in over a day (in more time than they usually have for any given challenge) that could impress either Tim or their client.

But I was talking about Swapnil's loser edit for the episode, so let's get back to that. Tim saves Swapnil for last in his critiques, and wouldn't you know it, multiple times the camera cuts to Swapnil standing around, listening to the other designer's critiques, and waiting for Tim to get to him. Eventually, while he's meeting with someone else, Tim looks over to Swapnil and asks him WTF he thinks he's doing. Swapnil says he's waiting, Tim says he needs to be working, and that's that. By the time Tim finally gets there, we see that Swapnil has created the exact opposite of what his client wants, and he hasn't even crafted it to such a point that it's ready to be tried on by said client. So all they can do is look at it on the dress form and question what the hell is wrong with this man. And so arrives the fabled Tim Gunn F-bomb of season 14. It comes after he calls Swapnil's excuses "bullshit" and then proceeds to ask him "What's the fucking point?"

After Swapnil sputters out a little more bullshit, Tim takes his client and leaves without giving them the chance to chat and recenter Swapnil on the best course. So here's where things get a little bit dicey to me. Swapnil clearly wasn't communicating with his client, and there's a good chance that no matter what she said, he wouldn't have heard her and wouldn't have produced something to her liking anyway. However, not five minutes earlier, after Ashley had yet another breakdown and her client wasn't happy, Tim makes it a point to say he's going to step away and leave them alone to come up with a course of action that suits them both. Ashley and her client come up with a new outfit in that span of time. Swapnil has been screwing himself in this challenge and has no one else to blame, but in the interest of fairness, doesn't he deserve the same opportunity that Ashley (and presumably the other designers too) got? In short: is it actually fair that Tim Gunn, the man who is meant to be their mentor and their guide through the competition, ushers Swapnil's client from the workroom after his harsh critique and leaves Swapnil to figure it all out on his own? I've been questioning Tim's tactics all season long, and while I understand that he's frustrated with the effort and the talent level this season, I can't say that I agree with this move. It may not have made a damn bit of difference, but I think he has to leave Swapnil and his client alone to talk it out a bit more. I wouldn't be saying that if we hadn't seen him do so for Ashley.

Tim comes back in right after the meetings, explains why he's being so tough on them all, and then promises they'll have a second fitting towards the end of the day. This gives them their whole second day to, in most cases, make entirely new looks and then have time for another fitting and a few more hours for final touches. All told, it's still more time than they generally get for anything else, so everything should come off without a hitch.

Swapnil starts work on a new look, the late night fitting comes around, and his client hates the new look as well. You could argue that she was being a bit inflexible, but more importantly she told him specfically what she didn't want, she told him this multiple times, and he proceeded to give her what she didn't want with two outfits in a row. So really, who can blame her for being upset about it? There's something to be said for compromise, but there's also a big difference between an actual compromise (where both parties give up a little something) and sheer capitulation, which is what Swapnil wants. With two and a half hours left in the day, he has to make a third look in the hopes that it's closer to what she wants. Spoiler alert: it isn't.

The Runway:

Ashley: I haven't even mentioned Ashley yet as Swapnil kind of floored me this entire episode, but this is a challenge everyone thinks Ashley should have in the bag, and then she sends this down the runway... It was clear from the moment she left Mood that the fabric choice was 100% wrong (the second challenge in a row that she's made that mistake), but then on top of everything else, the fit is unflattering, and the design is old and boring. We all wanted to know what would happen when Ashley got a "real woman" challenge, and now we do and still wish we didn't.

Candice: Yeah that happened. I'm sorry, but I'm seriously flabbergasted by this. I can't even begin to know what to say. My initial intention was just to write "Sigh" here and move on, but is that even possible? How could she ever have thought that this was an acceptable thing to do? Her taste level has just flown away in the night, and this is astonishingly bad.

Edmond: This is another case, for me, of two great pieces from Edmond that just don't go together. I'm upset that the photoset Lifetime has uploaded doesn't show the actual coat because without it on, it's impossible to see 1) how nice it is, and 2) just where this outfit fails, which is in the pairing of the two. There also appears to be some fit issues on the skirt, and the top doesn't photograph in a manner that shows off just how brilliant it is, but his client looks strong and capable and happy in her look, and I can see a real person being interested in buying that dress. I think fewer people would be interested in the coat by itself, but that's not to say that I don't like it.

Kelly: Kelly was lucky that the only real problem with her first look was a fit and tailoring problem. All she really had to do was lower the waist and create the vest and she was good to go, and good for her too as this finished product is pretty great. I don't know how much it embodies the makeover aspect of the challenge since it's pretty much just a higher end version of what her client would be wearing on her own, but the outfit is killer nonetheless. And it looks great on her.

Merline: This is my personal favorite look of the night. It's also the look the best embodies compromise. Her client specifically said she didn't want the jacket that Merline created at first, and so what does she do? She refashions it into a killer vest. Paired with the two pieces underneath it, which are both just smokin' hot and super sophisticated, and you've got a seriously winning combination. And her client fully owned it on the runway. This was a woman you could tell was happy and feeling sexy in her skin because of what Merline did for her. I love this to no end.

Swapnil: I honestly don't know what to say about this. I think the final piece that he sends down the runway is not the most horrible thing I've ever seen on the show, but I do think it's stupid conceptually, and a bit boring. Though I don't hate the skirt, and I probably wouldn't hate the top without that stupid cape attachment. The main problem with it is how unhappy his client is, and it's impossible to separate what I think about the overall design of the thing and what she clearly feels about it. He gets an F for working with his client, and a C- on construction and design.

Swapnil, Ashley and Candice are in the bottom, and as has been the case for awhile now, the judges have both good and bad, though perhaps more good than bad, things to say about Edmond, Kelly, and Merline'e looks. To his credit, Swapnil says all the right things on the runway yet again. He talks about his poor time management, and his inability to really deliver on what his client actually wanted. He doesn't come out and say that he was trying to get her to see something in herself that he saw in her, but that's probably for the best as no amount of seeming altruism could save him on that front. Zac, who's been over Swapnil for quite some time now, admits that he's bored with Swapnil's one trick pony routine, but they all believe in his talent level.

They also come down pretty hard on Ashley who should have rocked this and yet failed horribly. They're all a bit sick of the crying and the self doubt, and I honestly don't know what to say about all of it. I love Ashley, and I probably always will on some level, and I don't want to make light of how she's struggling to have the kind of confidence that her success on the show thus far demands of her. But I do also understand the desire to grab her by her shoulders and shake her a bit. She's won multiple challenges, she's made it to the top five, she's about a step away from making it to the finale, what on earth has to happen before she finally gets out of her own way and accepts that she's here because she deserves to be?

During the closer look at the designs, the judges tease the possibility of a double elimination, but it was obvious they wouldn't pull the trigger on it. First off, they've gone to that well too often for the threat to hold any real meaning; secondly, I can't imagine that this late in the competition they'd allow the top four to be decided with a swooping double elimination. However, there's a very simple reason why they should have gone with a double auf: The Tim Gunn save would have been put into play to save the second designer. Obviously Swapnil goes home here (Kelly wins incidentally), but that leaves Ashley and Candice both sweating it out on the runway in Swapnil's wake. Given what we've seen from her lately, it seems clear that Candice is a lock to make it to NYFW and she could even win the whole thing. Shocking since back when we were all calling for multiple eliminations to cull the dead weight, she was easily on my chopping block. Ashley has faltered a bit these last couple weeks, but the judges do believe in her and it's also clear she's set for the finale assuming she can right the ship and ride it out. So there's no way that Tim would let either of them go here. It's the most dramatic move possible, not because they'd send two people home, but because it would require Tim, after his profanity laden outburst from earlier, to stand in the greenroom and look Swapnil in the eye and tell him he's sending him to the workroom to clean up his space after he'd told either Candice or Ashley that he thought they were worth saving.

I don't generally argue for drama for drama's sake on this show, but this is one moment where it could have been worth it. Also, let's say Ashley was the designer they decided to send home with Swapnil. Maybe Tim using his save on her would have been just the jolt she needed to kick it in gear and really solidify her place amongst the designers. And if it had been Candice, I think it would have been the proper punishment for what she sent down the runway this week.

It doesn't happen, so it's a moot point either way, but what a missed opportunity. In any event, here we are. We've got our top five designers, and we should be about a week away from deciding who will be making collections to show at NYFW. After so many years of the top four all making it to the finale, I can't help but to assume four of these five people will be going as well. It's too bad because they really are all equally talented and by that logic should all make it to the finale. But even if they did, I can't think of a group of collections I'd be less excited for than these.

Loose Threads:

--There was an extended hair consultation for this challenge and I really couldn't tell you what was said in it. Not because I wasn't paying attention, as is my custom during these things, but just because I couldn't take my eyes off the hair guy (I learned here that his name is Greg). The dirty dirty things I'd like to do to that man.

--I think these last few episodes have solidified my thoughts about a general season long edit and how useful it could be. Swapnil's smoking habit and generally lax attitude towards work would have been seriously useful information to have earlier than we had it, and since it led to his ultimate downfall, it could have been a strong story to follow all the way through.

--There's a great, and obviously staged, shot in this episode of Swapnil re-sketching his look. He's sitting on the couch in the background, and a pack of cigarettes is sitting on the coffee table in the foreground. It's obvious and on the nose, but I loved it in spite of myself and wish I had had the presence of mind to screenshot it and use it as the image for this recap.

--Has Tim ever sent someone home in as chilly a manner as he did this week, or was it just me?

--Speaking of Tim, at this point, should we assume he just won't end up using the save at all? If he doesn't, would we consider that to be more of a good thing or a bad thing for the show?

--Merline seems like the odd woman out for the top four to me, but I also think she has the ability to turn it on at the right moment. I also think Ashley and Candice have the ability to slip up at the wrong moment and screw themselves out of a place in the top four. So I guess that means that Kelly and Edmond are the only two I think are a lock to move on. Though I think the most shocking thing that could happen at all would be Tim uses his save next week, and they somehow have to figure out a way to let five people show in the finale, or at least send them all off to make collections with the promise that one of them will go home before NYFW anyway.

Project Runway: S13 E10: "Muse on the Street"

Runaways, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't giddy at this week's episode. Not simply because of the challenge, or the execution of the challenge, or correctly predicting who'd be leaving us this week (though feel free too congratulate me on getting that one right, because I'm awesome!), but specifically because this is yet another really good episode in a string of really good episodes of a show that I think we all doubted being capable of even turning out really good episodes anymore. The fact is Project Runway has hit a stride where it seems like it can do no wrong and we're in a mad race to the finish and it looks like it'll actually be a really good worthwhile finish.

In keeping with the race to the finish aspect of this week, guess what all the designers are talking about as they wake up in the morning? Fashion Week! And how it's so close they can touch it. And how horrible it would be to go home now and be so close but not make it. The boys are also talking about how it's time for them to get Alexander a win already. I'm trying not to chuckle, but we'll revisit that possibility later on.

Tim is in the workroom with a rep from Mary Kay because it's time for an hour and a half of Mary Kay product placement. This week, the designers are charged with going out into the ever-friendly streets of New York City, which we all know are just full of kind and accommodating people who love nothing more than being accosted by strangers while they're trying to enjoy an afternoon in the park. The designers are then expected to inform these kind and loving people that they are in need of a serious, professional makeover. Because what might enhance your quiet afternoon in the park like being confronted by a total stranger and a TV film crew while that stranger tells you you're a hideous schulb who needs to slather on a hundred pounds of Mary Kay products and get your hair cut while a reality TV contestant designs you a way better outfit than the piece of shit you chose to go out in public wearing? Now get into this van with blacked out windows and come with me. Don't worry, I've got candy!

I think I both loved and hated this twist to the typical Real Women challenge. I think asking the designers to go out and find their own real women adds a great TV drama element to the episode. Will they find someone? What if everyone says no? Who do they pick and how do they go about making their selections? On the other hand, it makes this feel a bit less like a solid makeover challenge. The designers seem to be targeting women they would like to design for anyway and not women who seriously need makeovers. Where are all the homeless people in Central Park when you need them, amirite? Sean even goes so far as to tell one woman who may have been interested that he's looking for someone taller. To which my jaw dropped and I had an honest moment of saying, "What the actual fuck, Sean?!" at my screen. It's the kind of thing I'd expect from a Korina or a Sandy, but certainly not from my baby faced Aussie honey. Luckily it might be the most offensive moment in the episode, and a "Real Women" challenge on Project Runway with only one offensive moment is something for the record book. 

Having found their muses, the designers are granted 2 days and $200 to make it work. With that kind of time and money, it seems like the kiss of death could come in fabric selection. So someone please explain to me Alexander and Amanda's fabric choices? Because I honestly don't get it. Char's muse says her favorite color is red, so Char goes all red, all the time. Char's fabric choice, and also her final design, all bring up the other thing I love about the Real Women challenges: How to make the client happy. Char hears "I like red. My husband is in a rock band" and nothing else. And the final product proves that she doesn't really know how to incorporate her design into what someone else wants. I'm looking at this challenge and the team challenge with Sandy as evidence of that.

But we get ahead of ourselves. The designers head back to the workroom where they design, and then their muses come in for a consultation. The truth is, I tend to tune out the hair and makeup portion of the show. Not that I don't love a good hair style and makeup design, but I just can't handle how that portion of the episode has become an extended commercial for name-brand hair and makeup products. So I pretty much tuned out for that section of the episode. 

One section of the episode I was all eyes and ears for, however, was Tim's visit. It's pretty standard really. He tells Sean that his look is the only one he can't see a signature from. He comments about the taste level of Char's shorts. I love his exchange with Emily about how he loves her look, but she makes mention of the fact that Tim always gives her positive feedback but the judges don't. Tim and the judges don't appear to be in agreement on Emily's aesthetic. Which is something I want to talk about later, so don't let me forget.  Tim also tells Alexander that his dress is hideous. So you know, just a regular visit to the....wait what? 

That's right, Runaways, Tim thinks Alexander's look is the biggest affront to all of mankind since Howard Stern's Fartman costume (click at your own risk. Link NSFW. You've been warned). He thinks it's hideous, ugly, the worst thing in project runway history. He thinks looking at it might cause seizures and uncontrollable projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Women over the age of 40 should not look directly at this dress and children under the age of 12 should be removed from the tri-county area due to risk of sterility. And he advises Alexander to change it all immediately. It's a Project Runway first. And here's the thing, I think he's right that the look is ugly, and he's right that it should be changed, but did he really need to go on and on about it for as long and in as exuberant terms as he did? I think Tim played it up for the cameras a bit there, and it really bugged me. It's the first annoyance from Tim Gunn of the episode, but it won't be the last. 

Alexander is clearly flustered by Tim's critique of his dress. or at least I think he is.... I assume he is given the things he says.... I'm going to be honest guys, just looking at his face, I really couldn't tell. He was either really bothered, or her was really high. Both of which would be perfectly reasonable reactions to the reaming he'd just received. I mean I don't even know how he was capable of sitting at the sewing machine after the way Tim just ripped him a new one, amirite? (Ok I really have to stop doing that.) This also isn't the first time we've seen Alexander scrap his look at the last minute and try something new. Last time, he came out with a kind of burlap sack look... He can't do something that horrible again, right?

Tim tells everyone they have til 10pm to fix it and a kind of relief seems to wash over the workroom which suggests he made his visit early on the second day. So at the very least Alexander has time to make it work; he's just faced with having one day where everyone else had two. And the editing of his day actually makes it seem like he'd going to pull out a serious turn around and a make it work moment for the history books. We'll certainly see if that's the case.

There's a lot of bitching during the confessionals by the designers about the other designers as everyone's getting ready for the runway the next day. This isn't really ever my favorite thing. If I cared about what the designers thought about their competition....wait, why would I care about that? Of course they all hate each other's aesthetics, it wouldn't be a competition if they didn't. So let's just head off to the runway already and get down to...oh wait look, Char's fat ass model just totally used the powers of her huge King Kong style backside to bust the zipper on her short shorts. How dare she! Or at least if you listen to Char's constant refrain of "You just broke the zipper," that's what it seemed like. It's not at all possible that Char did a shitty job sewing the outfit and that's why the zipper broke, right? This is, in my opinion, the second moment of offensiveness in the episode. It might be a bit subjective, but I found the rhetoric used by Char and the placement of the blame to be highly problematic and offensive. 

As a result, she of course goes to run and find Tim to see what she can do to stop from having to send an exposed and traumatized woman down the runway. Tim's answer? Let's put all of the designers on the spot and ask them if they'd mind giving her more time to sew on a new zipper and close up the shorts. I've never said this before (I don't think), but fuck you Tim Gunn! I will say that I like his point that had they been using their regular models, he would have just said suck it up and let's go, but he's trying to preserve the modesty of the guests, but I still say fuck that. Tie a piece of fabric around her waist and let's go! Of course the designers are going to say yes to allowing her to have more time, and if you look at everyone's faces when Tim asks, I think it's pretty obvious everyone is just waiting for the one person who'll be brave enough to say "Hell no she can't have more time!" but no one stands up and says it. Where's Sandy when she'd actually be useful? Where's bitch Korina, who's spent the entire episode being bitchy behind people's backs, when she has the moment to stand up and just be a bitch in front of everyone? What the hell is this? 

Either way, Char gets more time to sew on a new zipper, and the other designers get some time to sit around and bitch about how unfair it is. They do so from the safety of the green room, while neither Char nor Tim are in the room. Cowards! Meanwhile, the judges are equally flustered by the fact that the runway show hasn't started yet. The exchange between Heidi and Tim that goes something like "Why were you guys late?" and "I don't want to tell you now, just move it along, Klum" was pretty priceless, though. It almost makes it all worth it, but not quite. 

The Runway:

Emily: I don’t think it’s a realistic wear look. It looks very runway ready in a lot of ways. But I love it nevertheless. She looks happy with it, she’s sexy in it, and I certainly think it’s the kind of thing Emily could be happy going home in if it came to that. It might not be the heart of the challenge, but I think it’s beautiful nonetheless.

Amanda:  I hate it. I hate it so much I can’t think straight. The hemline is hideous and too short, there’s an odd cut to the front that makes it look like she’s got a baby bump or something, and I hate the pattern. The vest jacket isn’t horrible and I think it adds an interesting dimension to the outfit, but I hate everything else.

Alexander: Is that underboob I’m seeing? Whatever, it’s cute and boring. It’s not a hideous burlap sack, thank God, but it’s not expansive either. It clearly was something he threw together in one day. But I do think it’s cute and I think his model really likes it, so points for that. And it’s way better than his first look.

Char: I hate it. I hate the color and the uniformity of the color. I hate the cut of it. I hate the shorts, I hate the little cut out in the back, I hate that it reminds me way too much of Sandy’s look from last week, I hate it all.

Kini: For all the talk of it just being another simple denim dress, I think it’s fabulous. I think the jacket really makes the look though. Without it, it would be a fairly simple and boring denim dress, but the jacket kicks everything up a notch. I love it.

Sean: This girl looks like she needs to be on a stage! My God I love everything about this. On the one hand, it’s a simple black dress, but on the other hand, it’s just so breath taking. The fringe along the hemline and the slit is just perfection, the sheer top is gorgeous, and the open back is to die for. She should wear that everywhere!

Korina: Newsflash: Korina really knows how to make leather jackets, man! I mean she’s really good at it. I know no one knew that before because we’ve just NEVER seen her do it, and this was such a test for her charting these new and exciting waters, but she just really knocked it out huh, guys? OK, snark aside, I like it. I love that Royal blue color. The skirt I didn’t like at first, but the more I saw it move the more I liked it. But yeah, we get it Korina, your one trick is a good one. Move on.

Here's the thing: technically, Emily, Kini, and Korina are in the top, and Char, Alexander and Amanda are in the bottom, right? But after listening to the judging, it sounds a lot more like Kini and Korina are in the top, Alexander and Char are in the bottom, and Emily and Amanda are in the middle. I don't know, it was weird.

The judges point out that Alexander's look is boring. Nina also makes a very interesting observation that the crop top is a very summer look but he's paired it with a very wintery fabric. It all goes back to the issue we saw from his potato sack dress from earlier this season: when he has to rush to pull something out in the last minute, it's going to be simple and boring. This kid (and I say that because I often forget he's only 22) has a lot of talent and potential, but he needs time to let that out and to let it breathe. It feels a bit like he was ultimately done in by the constant time restraints of the show.

Meanwhile, the judges comment on the taste level of Char's look. "It can be provocative and appropriate at the same time," one of them points out, and I couldn't agree more. Sexy and edgy do not have to be mutually exclusive with tasteful. The judges are split on Emily's look. Some of them like the ruffles around the neck, some of them don't. Some of them think it's a bit costume-y (which is what Sean said they would say), and then Zac likes that element of it. For what it's worth, I really don't see a costume when I look at Emily's dress, I see something that's more Runway than sidewalk, to be sure, but there's something to be said for that. And her model looks and feels amazing in it. I really think she sold the look. When she was asked where she would ever wear that and she had a ready made answer, I was shocked and pleased. 

Korina wins, giving her her second win and making it more and more obvious that this is really just between her, Sean, Kini, and Amanda at this point (IE the only contestants left with any wins at all, all of whom have multiples). Alexander has an expression. I mean, he goes home, which finally gives him an expression. No I joke, but I really did find the shot of him crying in the green room as Tim came in to be the most adorable and affecting thing ever. A lot of the times when contestants leave and they cry, I shrug it off and tell them to hurry up and clean out their space. But with Alexander I got the impression that he was honestly a good guy, and he was honestly pleased with having been here and having been granted this opportunity. I think there's also the element of him being annoyed with Char's extra time in the workroom. He points out that had she not been granted that amount of time, he wouldn't have gone home. And I agree with him, but I also think if you'd said something when Tim asked if she could have more time instead of just standing there with that typically Alexander look on your face, then she wouldn't have had it and you wouldn't have gone home, buddy. It's a moot point now. Goodbye, Alexander; you and your perfect deadpan will be missed. 

Keepin' it Real Thoughts:

--Ok I wanted to come back to the disconnect between the way Tim views Emily's work and the way the judges do. This makes me think that Emily would have been the perfect candidate for the Tim Gunn save had the opportunity arose where she needed it. But here's the thing: she hasn't been in the bottom or sent home yet. So clearly the judges felt her worthy enough to make it to this point? Also, hypothetically speaking, had Tim not used the save on Char, and had Emily been sent home like last week and had Tim then saved her, would it be a problem that Tim was using the save this late in the competition? I know it's a lot of twisty hypotheticals that don't matter, but I think the question of how long is too long to hold onto the save is an interesting one too. Also this is just how my overactive brain works, so sorry to subject you to that. 

--I know no one was ever going to stand up and say "No" to Tim's request for Char to have more time, so my comments about Alexander's dead look causing him to be out was tongue in cheek, but I do also think everyone has to own some portion of the blame here. It was wrong for Tim to put everyone in that position, but it was also wrong for no one to stand up and voice their problems with it only to turn around and voice their problems about it and have someone else go home in her place. 

--Sean's the only safe designer this week, and I don't know about that. I think his look was worthy of being safe, but I also think that I would have liked to spend more time with his model who clearly loved and was perfectly at home in that dress. I would have liked to hear from him more, and I think the judges would have been less divided over him than they were over Emily. 

--Nina's disclaimer about their critiques not being about the women themselves was just great. IDK if they do that for every Real Women challenge, but I certainly think it's the first time I've ever heard one of the judges say that. It makes me feel like they've finally figured out how to do these challenges with the very minimum of offense being offered. 

--I love how Tim was trying to rush the models away before Heidi stopped him and was like "Wait, you still haven't told us why you were late!" and put him on the spot. HAHA take that, Timmy! 

--Lastely, the Fall TV season is upon us this week. What are you guys watching this year? If I may make a suggestion, last night's How to Get Away with Murder was really quite amazing. If you didn't watch it, I'd strongly suggest you check it out. I can't recall the last time I saw such a surefooted pilot.

Under the Gunn S1 E10: Crossing Teams

If there's one thing we've learned from our years of Project Runway, it's that being a wallflower gets you nowhere. While being a complete and utter jerk doesn't necessarily insure you the win, at least egotism and confidence get you noticed and sometimes a begrudging respect. But, being a pushover with no confidence will get you kicked off the show. I still remember that one season where that one designer said "I should go home" and Heidi was all "You need more confidence in order to survive. You killed yourself by saying you shouldn't stay. Auf Weidersehen."

This lesson gets reinforced time and again, and, spoiler alert, it will be reinforced this week on Under the Gunn. This is also going to be the first time where the mentors are not the primary focus of the episode, creating a story where we finally get to see how the designers work together and how they work in general.

As we open the episode this week, everybody is passive-aggressively bitching about Natalia in front of her, without mentioning her name. Blake: "I miss Michelle. How does it feel to be the top two girls?" "It's another chance to get to prove who we are." *crickets* *Asha sideways glares at Natalia*

Asha, getting the villain edit while wearing a shirt that tackily says "Ohio Against The World," openly bitches about Natalia in asides, constantly throughout the episode. Even before we've made it to the challenge, the editors have inserted Asha's bitchiness, and don't let it up. She must have gone in to the confessional booth 300 times throughout the day to bitch about Natalia again and again. 

This week's challenge is the mini-collection team challenge, to create a spring collection inspired by an over-expensive boho women's clothing store that's found in malls everywhere, Francesca's. They also have the accessory wall. This week's teams are Oscar and Shen (finished + stylish), Blake and Sam (tailored + young), and Asha and Natalia (future + current). All three of these teams might stylistically add up to amazing mini-collections if they can figure out how to work together.

The editors, however, have already foretold that Asha isn't willing to work with Natalia. Nor is Mondo willing to work with Asha or Nick. By the time we hit Mood for fabric selection, even Tim seems to be ready to oppress Natalia out of the series. Later, both Shen and Sam have asides claiming they used to not respect Natalia, but they've come around. But, really...who cares since they aren't teamed with her.

The other two teams work well with each other, with Blake and Sam realizing that you CAN elevate junior with some really good tailoring. Oscar realizes that he sometimes needs some really good editing and Shen can bring a milder eye to Oscar's overdesigning. Both teams collaborate well during sketching, and during Mood.

On the other hand, Asha and Natalia are fighting in Francesca's. They continue fighting in Mood. Asha has decided on a color palette that she hasn't shared/confirmed with Natalia. Asha picks out a whole litany of fabrics, but doesn't fill in Natalia with her overall story. Asha chooses a bunch of fabrics, and runs the team overbudget if they included any of Natalia's fabrics. They can't agree on anything either, because Asha chooses some really fucking awful fabrics. Asha and Tim steamroll over Natalia where she can't get her fabric. When they get to the work room, Natalia wants to cut little swatches of the fabric in order to create a color story, and Asha refuses to let her because she doesn't work like that. It's really brutal how easily Asha's ego and pre-determined hatred for Natalia overpowers Natalia's wallflower nature and lack of confidence. The part that makes me really want to slap Asha is when people comment on her misery and she grins and passive-aggressively says "being positive" when she's being anything but. Her attitude is as tacky, cheap, and fake as her stupid t-shirt.

By the time we get to the mentor critiques, where the three designers come critique the teams in pairs, based on their designers. They stay with their team members. Nick and Anya work well together because Oscar and Shen are really lost at first with some good seedlings that have been lost in an incoherent collection of mundane design. Mondo and Anya critique well because Mondo likes Blake, and Anya is a terrible critic though she knows good criticism. 

But, Nick and Mondo have the same dynamic that Natalia and Asha have. Mondo hates Nick, and he also hates Natalia. He bowls over both Nick and Natalia in order to undermine Natalia and put the onus on her not to be critical of Asha. He also takes time out to say "you need to edit, but I love this Moroccan thing you've got going" in Asha's really awful fabric pairing that will become a dashiki. At this point, Natalia starts designing not to save herself, but to keep Asha from being out. "This isn't about me. This is about a team challenge." Ego, this girl does not have. 

During the final day run-up, Blake and Sam are given some sort of pseudo drama that they have to finish a dress in 2 hours, but they're really good at finishing anyways. The audience really knows that the big trouble team is Asha and Natalia. Asha asks Natalia to do some finishing on her crappy dashiki, just so she can freak out on the runway about how Natalia fucked up her awful thing, and says as much when Mondo comes by. 

*Deep Breaths* It's runway time. The guest judge this week is Sei Jin, from Francesca's. The winning design will be sold at Francesca's, and the designers will win $5,000 for that design. 

Shen and Oscar: Their collection ages a little from 14-year-old to late 20s as it goes on. I wasn't as gaga over it as the judges, though it is solid. Also, the maxi dress fits Francesca's but it isn't quite in the same story as the other two outfits.

• Design 1: OMG, CUTE! Up close and personal, the overalls seemed rather heavy, but from afar the overall shorts are totally junior cute. which is a bit too young for Francesca's. But, it's well done and the removable overalls are nifty.
• Design 2: I love the blazer from the front. But, from the back the cutout looks really saggy. I don't get the love because it kind of looks like somebody slashed the jacket. The pieces underneath the jacket, the bright orange knit things are also so hidden by the jacket that they don't get any time to shine, even though they are kind of brilliant on their own.
• Design 3: It's a maxi dress with pockets. It's stunning, but we've all seen it so many times that it was dependent on its great print.

Asha and Natalia: It's a tortured collection of terrible fabrics, unnecessary 60s retro, and terrible finishing. None of this is what I would expect from either Asha or Natalia on their own. Asha is normally future slut, while Natalia is normally more modern and innovative. That they created such a bad collection of Woodstock-inspired kitsch is telling of how they worked together.

• Design 1: Natalia look. The skirt is cute. The back is cute. The front is abhorable. It's a simple design with none of Natlia's usual innovation, so her lack of finishing skills comes back to haunt her when she creates something so simplistic. The skirt is so interesting (why pleats?!) and the back straps are fantastic, but the front bust is about as crushed and steamrolled as Natalia.
• Design 2: God, I hate this look. I hate everything about it. The dashiki is made up of awful felt fabrics, the turquoise doesn't match the brown and the gold, and everything about it is just pure tacky. It's just hideous. I just...I just can't.
• Design 3: Costume. OMG, does anybody actually wear this anymore? It is pure Woodstock. I haven't seen anybody in this look in decades. 60s aren't revivalist right now. The skirt, however, is interesting with it's belly strap and cutouts. But, it's in service of a look that's so dated it makes me scream.

Sam and Blake: Modern, youthful, and kind of tailored. This is what I expected their ollection to look like. It's kind of expected, and doesn't fit in too well with Francesca's (probably the least compatible of the three collections), but it is within their aesthetic without straying too far from the challenge. It's finished well as well.

• Design 1: Trendy, young, fabric. It's not junior, but perfect for that woman who wants to look 22. I love the top especially with the strong  red in the back.
• Design 2: Modern and boho casual. This feels like what Asha's design 3 was trying to be. It's an updated version of the overtly 60s crop top with harem pants replacing the skirt making it far more casual.
• Design 3: It's a nice semi-evening outfit. The asymmetrical top is interesting, but I can't see many girls wearing it. The skirt is a nice skirt. 

The judging is basically everything that you can see on the runway with your own two eyes. Strangely, Sei Jin takes up Shen's jacket instead of his overalls, and not so strangely also picks up Oscar's maxi dress with pockets because it is a totally expected window piece. 

But, the worst part is what happens between Asha and Natalia. When asked who should go home, Asha doesn't want to be the first to bitch out Natalia in order to make herself not seem like a bitch. But, Natalia doesn't have the ego or confidence to throw Asha under the bus where she belongs for that fucking awful dashiki. Instead, Asha works herself up to tears in order to say how much she wants it and tears tears tears. It's totally fake. Natalia, on the other hand, starts tearing up and throws herself under the bus, saying that she doesn't want Asha to go home because of Natalia. Which, ugh. Natalia's inability to stand up for herself and her lack of confidence was, ultimately, her undoing and she goes home.

Random Observations:

• Sam's comment of "isn't that a dress that every girl already has?" makes for an awesome friendly bitchy session that Under the Gunn has seriously been lacking in. It's gay camaraderie at its finest...wait, Shen is married with kids?  Still doubtful...
• When Tim comes in to say that the designers have an extra hour to finish their outfits, Oscar's look of "what the hell? Come on! I've been finished for hours already!" is hilarious
• Can we see the hair stylist lead make out with Handlebar Moustache Guy? Can they have their own series? Shirtless Stylists! I'd watch.
• Nick really likes saying "Easy Breezy [random third verb]." It's like a drinking game. If he references Cover Girl's tagline, finish the bottle of wine.
• Apologies for being so late on this week's posting. I had it all written out, and had clicked save instead of publish. YAY late night writing! LOL  Tomorrow's should be published in a more timely fashion.

Project Runway S12 E10: "Project Runway Superfan!"

If I were a superfan, I'd have some serious questions about showing up on Project Runway as a model. Especially if I wasn't 6'1, 110lbs with A- or B-cups.  That isn't because non-models can't be pretty.  It's because you know you have a better than even chance of ending up wearing something with an awful fit on national television.  It's because you have a decent chance of getting the designer who will bitch about your not being a coat hanger.  And, it's because you have to be kind of happy if the designer listens to you and then they end up on the bottom.  Oh, and if you're physically fit to skinny, you'll be in the top. But if you're not skinny, you are going to be in the bottom.

That being said, I'd be on Project Runway in a heartbeat, and the designer would have a fucking heart attack while I demanded a better fit.  And, could I have tear away clothes like the strippers from last season?

Yes, dear readers, this is the "real woman" challenge that all long time fans of Project Runway have come to love and dread, all at once. But, fortunately, this isn't random nice old women who have somehow been scammed by Project Runway.  Or, worse, the mothers or relatives of the other designers. This is a group of the afore-mentioned superfans, who have pre-conceived notions of how the show works.  Insult away!  Just kidding. Please don't insult the superfans.

When we first meet the superfans, they are arrive oohing and ahhing at everything, and taking more photos than an old lady on a tour bus. OH! They ARE on a tour bus. And then they get taken backstage and allowed to walk the runway and crawl around the sets nosing around and taking photos. They talk with Tim Gunn, and otherwise act like really adorably fun people.

And, after awhile, our superfans go into the workroom where the designers have NOT been chained to their desks.  I repeat the designers have not been lashed to their desk in order to while away their morning doing nothing more than twiddle their thumbs.  They're just sitting there, making odd comments about needing to randomly cut and sew some muslin because that's what they do for fun!  They even stand and walk away from their desks to greet the superfans in order to prove they haven't been chained there on a permanent basis.  

The superfans, as per usual for the "real woman" challenge come in ranges from boyishly skinny to curvy to already hot to plump.  ToKen gets stuck with one of the larger women, which already rang elimination bells in my head.  Alexandria has to do an interview suit for an art student.  Justin has to do a dress for a mormon who lost 130 lbs.  Eyebrows has to deal with another woman with curves who wants a SUIT.

Captain Sassypants bitches early in the episode off screen about having to design for non-models, which he's never done before. Everybody else is quite happy with their models, which is a really refreshing change of pace for Project Runway.  Sure they may not know how to dress the models properly (especially Ken), but they weren't as blatantly offensive as they have been in seasons past.  Probably because the producers were like "Shhhh, this is our viewing audience.  We're on LIFETIME! You gotta be nice."

The designers consult and sketch with the superfans, and then the superfans get to go to Mood.  Which is great because ToKen is designing in green for a girl who should not be wearing green. Match your skin tones bitches.  But, then ToKen gets a crappy green fabric because his model was super excited by it.  And, he also gets some other fugly pseudo-pleather fabric to go along with it. Elimination bells #2. Everybody else picks average fabrics.

The superfans are given hair consultations on day one for their New York vacations so they look stunning while in the big city.  Hey!  I need a hair consultation!  Instead of using that L'oreal stuff, can you use this manic panic hair dye?  Maybe we can go green!  No, don't faint! How about neon purple?  Gay rainbow?  Leopard Print!  And, bleach the shit out of my hair to dye it.  40 strength, so you don't burn the shit out of my scalp.  *sigh* *dreams*  I'd also like a pair of fashionable bleachers, I can bring my oxblood leather boots.  Old school punk is back, right?

Anyways, the designers start designing, and Alexander is the only one truly struggling because he agreed to a suit for his superfan. And, considering that the superfan isn't a model, that means that Alexander needs to have a shitton of room for a lot of alterations because he is probably making somewhat educated guesses.

After the workroom, the male designers have to consolidate rooms.  I hadn't noticed that this year they haven't been in plush cushy apartment suite accommodations, and were merely in a hotel with four single beds.  Lulz.  And, since they are now down to four male designers we're going down to one room.  And, so, after a long day of working and dealing with superfans, the designers have to pack up and move into a single room.  You know, because they didn't have time to do this in the morning while they were waiting for the superfans to finish up the tour, right?  

Captain Sassypants confesses that this angers Queen ToKen and he isn't about to put up with it.  He sets up his ironing board right in front of the front door, and starts ironing as the designers are starting to move in. Eyebrows, who is in the lead in the train of two, opens the door but has to wait for ToKen to finish his ironing of his jean short cutoffs?!!?  WTF?!  Who irons jean short cutoffs?  I mean, really...

Eyebrows gets pissed because at this point, he just wants to settle in and go to bed.  And Eyebrows knocks down the ironing board and iron.  Then, Ken starts pitching his biggest fit yet to the point where the talent supervisor comes in and pleads with him to calm the fuck down or else she's going to lose her job if he cuts a bitch.  Meanwhile Eyebrows and Dance Beard have ran back to their original room and locked the door.

The next day, Tim Gunn has a group sit down, as one would with 12 year olds.  Because, really, that was an 12 year old thing to do.  On all sides.  All the women except Helen are like, "really, dudes?  really?  Get the fuck out."  All the men and Helen are like "Sassy, stop being such a bitch."  The end result is that Captain Sassypants gets his own bedroom.  Elimination bells #3.

Back to the design.  ToKen makes some sort of hideous green dress that even he hates. Eyebrows struggles with time.  Justin makes a dress that has the woman's signature on it.  Awwww. Dance Beard goes leather.  Alexandria goes...well...Alexandria.  Everybody else is safeish.

And, then its time for hair and makeup.  There is a wide range of skin tones and dress designs that Handlebar Moustache Guy had to design for.  Some of the makeup is more naturalistic.  Some is more edgy.  It's a wide range of...bitch!!!  DON'T YOU BE HUGGING MY MAN! Get your hands off HMG, he's mine!  Justin, control your superfan, dammit.  No, really, if I was a superfan on Project Runway, I fear I'd be sexually harassing HMG during the makeup consultation in the worst ways possible, which I will refrain from detailing on here (you're welcome for that).

And, time for the runway show.  Which, Nina didn't even show up for!  Seriously, Project Runway?  I know Nina is busy and all, but you have a superfan episode, and Nina can't even be bothered to show up?  Anyways, her replacement is Zanna Roberts Rossi, new editor of Marie Claire and Joanna Cole's replacement (since she has left Marie Claire for Cosmo).  And the special guest judge is Erin Fetherston.

Justin: OK, he's dressing for a Mormon who is hiding extra skin from losing 130 lbs.  So, yeah, it's going to be a little boring.  But, it fits her well, and I really like the signature and the way it comes from the shoulder and down the middle.  It's tasteful, but I would have preferred this in an actual color (like the yellow in her before picture) because the top comes across as so flat on in black. Top three.

Dance Beard: The vest is amazing.  It looks like something that Joanna Coles would wear. Its military and butch.  It looks expensive, and its great in that leather.  The dress looks cheap.  It's a really nice simple black dress that Dance Beard kind of ruined with cheap shiny plastic strips haphazardly applied to the bottom.  Top three (for the vest alone, IMHO).

Eyebrows: Poor eyebrows.  He had the frame of a great suit with a giid fit.  From the back it is a really nice silhouette, and flatters her figure.  Then, it gets rough.  He added gigantic black flaps at the bottom which makes the whole thing start looking silly.  But, worse than that, he adds a black piece of something over one shoulder that looks like a burping rag for mothers of infants.  Not finishing is one thing, but those extra elements are whoa.  Bottom three (and probably could have gone home).

Dom: Safe, off the rack dress that looks really nice on her.model.  And a nice jacket.  It's just a really OK dress.

Kate: I love this look.  Those leggings are nice and slimming, and her top is so well proportioned that the leggings pairing doesn't make her look like Humpty Dumpty (which is a problem I have seen frequently, where the legs look out of proportion thin to the girl because of the black leggings and billowy top).  The top is stunning, even if it isn't in a color I'm not fond of.  And, it's safe.

ToKen: An ugly green simple outfit with graphic stripes that go across it in unflattering ways.  Especially the stripe that goes across one boob and makes everything look lopsided (Heidi was so right).  The two materials suck together. The model loves it, even as ToKen himself hates it.  ToKen goes home (thank God).

Alexandria: It's a boring design. The bulky military design of the front jacket doesn't match the clustered feminine back, nor do either of them match the summery skirt that's poking beneath it.  And then there's some sort of black cummerbund-like-thing.  It's really confused.  Yes, its an interview suit, but it looks confining and uncomfortable.  Bottom three.

Helen: Its a really nice runway dress.  She was the only one who went red carpet, and she had the time to do it too.  The bust looks especially nice, and the whole thing looks rather edgy and elegant. With a power hairstyle, this is the transformation of the show.  She wins.

So, in the end, ToKen's gone.  It wasn't for the dress, either.  I think Eyebrows' unfinished suit was god awful, even in the directions he was taking it.  That burping rag was hideous and unnecessary, and the jacket had those weird black things at the bottom of the front.  ToKen's was just averagely bad.  Though, his was more boring, which is the semi-rule of this season of Project Runway (though, I think Alexandria's was more boring).  Personally, I think that ToKen's temper had overstayed his welcome a few episodes ago.  His fights were no longer interesting or entertaining.

The final scene of Captain Sassypants was hilarity, though.  Alexandria: "I think you have a voice." Sassy: "Project Runway pushed me as far as I want to be pushed." Tim You're happy? Well, good.  Because I have to send you to the work room to clean up your space. Right now."  Then, Sassy hugs some of the designers, but walks right past Tim Gunn.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Sassy.  Good riddance.

Interesting coda that already happened: Captain Sassypants did not show a decoy show at New York Fashion Week.  Even though even London showed a decoy collection, Sassy apparently couldn't be bothered.  I haven't been able to find news on this absence, and I suspect PR won't make any announcement on it because then they would be acknowledging the presence of the decoy collections, which they haven't really done.  

Random notes:

- The stage manager looks like he may be kind of hot as well.  He's only seen in shadow, but he looks positively hunky.

- What the heck is with that skirt and top pairing that Heidi is wearing?  A beigy striped top with a floral spring print skirt?  It's, fortunately, not the kindergarten teacher alphabet sweater that Nina once wore, but it is a ?! moment.

- Alexander is delusional. "Did your model like it?" "She LOVED it."  [later in the close-ups] "The design looked a little different on screen. But, you know..."

- Best judge dance arounds: "But, you're a cool girl! You know, you want something maybe a little bit more...inspired."  "We think you're better than this dress."

- The two skinny real girls were indeed in the top, and one of them was the winner.  Way to break your stereotypes Project Runway!

- ZOMG, Alyssa Milano is hosting PR All Stars!  I think its a sign that I'm gay that my first thought was "the seductress Amy Fisher!"

- And, not in the advertisement for PR All Stars, Zanna Roberts Rossi is the new Joanna Coles as mentor.  She won't be a cold heartless woman who seems like she's coming in for 15 minutes.  But, Joanna will be missed.  I loved her, though I might be the only one.

- Fashion related sidenote: What was Chelsea Clinton wearing on tonight's The Daily Show?  It looked like the Theo Huxtable shirt that Denise made in that one episode of The Cosby Show.  Only in dress form.  Was anybody else bothered by this dress?