Friday, February 14, 2014

Under The Gunn S1 E5: Hit the Stage

Everybody is watching The Nick and Isabelle Hour
Last week, we watched as Nick started to try to let go of everybody but Isabelle. He had a special focus on her, and ripped her dress up and down. Isabelle, as a result, when on the bottom, threw Nick under the bus.

This week opens with Nick taking umbrage at Isabelle rightfully throwing him under the bus, and being in complete denial at his own terrible attitude. Meanwhile, Isabelle is already complaining because she can't finish a dress in the way she wants to do it. This episode, from here on forward, should be called The Nick and Isabelle show.

Sure, there's a challenge. It's to make a stage outfit for some teeny-bopper, Zazzle?, though nobody knows who the hell this girl is...except oh-so-straight Shan who helpfully adds that his kid watches Disney right now. Oh, Shan. You so hetero.  And, really, this challenge would have been tailor-made for Brady...but Anya sent him home last week. *ironic sad trombone*

That's almost the sum total of anybody else's participation in The Nick and Isabelle Show. During the sketch moments, Nick is telling them such helpful hints as "this is a girl who takes selfies," while rambling, rambling, rambling. When Isabelle finally tells him to shut the fuck up and let them actually think for themselves, Nick is all "OOOOOO. Bitchtoldmeto...shut...up!" (in so many words). 

Accenting The Nick and Isabelle Hour is that, when we get to the work room, Isabelle is is mental thought in the green room, and everybody else is talking about Isabelle. "Isabelle can't time manage" "Hey, Isabelle, get your ass out here." Isabelle is all, "I needed to have somebody kick my ass." And its just about Isabelle.

But, Nick comes out with Tim to help his designers. Natalia is designing something, but she's not Isabelle so nobody cares. Oscar has created a great ice dance outfit. Stephanie is using waxed denim, for some reason, but there's no changing that. 

And, then we return to Isabelle! Because, it's been way too long since she's been on screen. It's The Nick and Isabelle Hour, not Nick and Friends. Nick bitches about Isabelle telling him to shut the fuck up. Isabelle asks Nick for some actual help, in which I think she actually created a problem in order to let Nick be helpful. And, Nick gets to be helpful. So, Nick and Isabelle actually leave happy!

Mondo gets to talk to a designer and is skimmed over since he is neither Nick nor Isabelle.

Anya talks to Blake, who created a drop pants diaper and is lost. She talks to Nicholas, who is designing something boring. And, finally, she talks to Shan if only to feature his fucking bad ass jacket.

Models come in for a fitting, and Stephanie complains about nothing fitting. Models leave in the same amount of time it took to type these sentences.

But, then its back to the Nick and Isabelle Hour. No, really. As soon as the models leave, Isabelle is loudly complaining about fucking up her outfit. We just can't cut her out, we have to watch her crash and burn in all her glory.

It's at this point that I wonder if the editors really wanted to document Isabelle's fall from grace in excruciating and exact detail. Even once we get back to the work room, on day 2, Isabelle is the focus immediately. The editors try to create some tension by having Blake be all frazzled. But, Isabelle is still obviously the focus of The Nick and Isabelle Hour. Even Handlebar Moustache Guy's extended time this season (thank you, editors!) has been cut short by Nick harassing Isabelle because her dress is still in pieces. And, she ends up sewing up to the last minute, being harassed by both Tim and Nick. Especially Nick.

And, finally, The Nick and Isabelle Hour pauses for the runway. Finally. You guys, this has been a trying episode. Judges are now only 3: Jen Rade, Zanna Roberts Rassi, and Zantax, the performer.

Team Mondo:
  • Michelle - It's a good mid-20s walking to the gym look as its a sporty catsuit with a really cute jacket. I'd walk to the gym in that. 
  • Asha - An interesting take on the leather and flannel look. Its a fresh top with a bare midriff, and a cute shorts with a flannel shirt tied around it (and sewed on). It is a cute ode to teen love. 
  • Sam - I get it from the front. I get it from the back. I don't get it from the front to the back. The front is a full covering cute shirt jacket type piece with a mini skirt. And the back has an open bare back, giving the longer in the front appearance, which I totally don't get at all. I'd like it as a teen junior mall store look if it was full back though.
Team Nick:
  • Natalia - Cute jersey with pants. Its modern and hip and feels like stuff I already see on the racks. 
  • Oscar - Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. What ARE we going to do with you. Trashy, trampy, high glitz Cher-by-Bob-Mackie-wannabe outfit. Its well done...for Cher, when she was 45. 
  • Stephanie - Boring Faux Gaga, and not well done either. It's like the spirit of Elena took over, but not the skill. It's awful.
  • Isabelle - Um...No. It...I...I...What can I say? I don't even know.
Team Anya:
  • Blake - Tampon in applicator.
  • Nicholas - Snooooooze. It's not dramatic. It's dull. It's old. It's boring.
  • Shan - I fucking love that leather jacket. I want a men's version of it. It's such a sexy jacket. The pants are well done as well, but that jacket is amazing. 
So, after the judges rip apart and praise as is the custom, we get a new segment where the mentors get to comment to influence the judging, you know because it is The Nick and Isabelle Hour. And, this time Nick throws Isabelle under the bus. As if she needed the extra push. Kick a girl while she's down. 

Isabelle loses, and Asha wins. But, the ultimate result is that Nick's designers now feel like they can't trust Nick as their mentor. Which will lead into the next episode which can't be The Nick and Isabelle Hour. Thank God.

Random Observations:

- Asha: "I don't think that people get who Xanadu is as an artist..."

- Best moment of the night was Oscar's model dancing like Cher in her Cher spangled outfit.

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