Project Runway All Stars S5 E08: "Once Upon a Runway"

Cheerful Alyssa Milano caught not smiling - see, it is all in the editing!

Once Upon a Runway...

Let the wordplay begin.

In the Land of Lifetime, life is not a fairy tale for these designers – budget cuts keep them to a very tight schedule (one day challenges are the rule now) and I’m sure their accommodations are not five-star. The Cinderella moment will only come from one of them, and if you ask Dom, not that we did, she might tell you the “ball” that is winning PR only lasts until midnight. Sometimes your glass Manolos crack and you have to come back to the workroom and try to win all over again.

So only one person will come out of this arduous design marathon the winner, and her name is… Laura Michelle Kelly. Yes, the smiley British actress is back again – you might remember her from this episode and from this episode of PR Junior oh and seen commenting a few times in the Juniors finale as well, like the editor is in love with her. In the PR All Stars kingdom of Manhattan there is only one musical playing, and it is Finding Neverland. You’ll be surprised to know one of the NY producers is Harvey Weinstein, Mr. Georgina Chapman. Hmm. Go figure.

LMK meets the group  - now down to eight - with either pregnant or recycling her maternity wear host Alyssa Milano at a bookstore. Alyssa tells them they will be creating a modern runway look for a classic female character from literature. I instantly love this idea. Imagine the possibilities of dressing a modern day Anna Karenina, a Holly Golightly, a Becky Thatcher, a Carrie White. Okay, I jumped to the conclusion that they were talking proper literature, but of course they were aiming for fairy tales. After a brief dramatic character description of each, LMK handed out the following “clients”:

Dom got Tinkerbell (small and sassy, she calls her)

Sam got (and is) the Little Mermaid (the depressing Dane H.C. Andersen’s depressing tales for depressing Danish children)

Emily, Snow Queen (see above)

Kini got Alice, of Wonderland and Looking Glass fame

Asha got Rapunzel

Ken, Snow White

Layana, Belle (she says as she split her upbringing between the country and the city, living with her dad, she’s comfortable with whats' going on in Belle’s head. This does not speak well of Layana’s dad.)

And Alexander is handed Cinderella (which he loves as they are both tall, blonde princesses. I do get a kick of of Alex.)

And we're off to Mood

Hang in there, buddy!

Alyssa excitedly sends them off to Mood, extra kiss-blowy as after last week, now she knows where the store is, and when they get there we see our fave canine sidekick Swatch. Worryingly he doesn’t move too much, and the designers are encouraged not to step on him. Horrors! Can you even imagine? Good thing Sam doesn't trod his loafer on Swatch's paw, because he is already persona non grata.

All in all the designers seem happy with their assignments and extremely unhappy with Sam. The men, mostly. Emily is so chill she's probably never had a white-hot design-related grudge. It starts to kick off in the rarely-seen breakroom as they all shovel down their lunch. Snipe snipe snipe, Sam and Kini, one upping each other. Squabbles are great, if only to see Dom’s adorable reactions. She should have been a child actress on Family Matters or on an ad next to other kids digging into yummy breakfast cereal. Good thing Asha is not taking sides; we see this episode that she is working with some gold glittery goin-out nails. They are at least an inch long. How can anyone function with nails that long? 

But Asha stays out of the fight and the kitties with the claws are the usual suspects for staying in: Kini, Sam, Alex and Ken. But wait: as the day goes on, it comes to light that Ken, who has been backing Kini up in the taking down of Sam, had no idea that Kini not only tailored Sam’s trousers in Episode 3’s challenge, he created the poufed organza neckline that the judges all loved so much. Ken is flabbergasted, which – considering Ken’s shaky grasp of the English language – leaves him all kinds of tongue-tied.

Zanna got the Memo

Zanna must know the theme this week, based on the little girl dress she's wearing. Her critiques don't say too much that we don't already know. She worries about Asha's finishing, tells Dom to sell her girl's story on the runway, and tells Layana she's seen too much of the same from her (not stating the obvious: color clashes) and, words of wisdom here: maybe try something different?

(Does not photograph well)

Kini tells Zanna that Alice is a naughty girl and gives her a dress with ladylike front and a surprise back of ruffles. I just adore this look and how he incorporates the story into his design, but the duality of Kini’s personality has left me cold. As noted above, this contest is a slog, people are tired and crammed together way too much, but. BUT. He seemed so nice on his original season, but this feud with Sam has gone on and on. If you’ve made your point, and you seem to have the support of the other stabby queens, then stop acting like a fourth grader and get to work.

Runway Time

Guest judges are singer – correction, she's listed as Singer/Songwriter - Kesha, with acid yellow hair, no bra and bad posture, and Fashion Police’s Brad Goreski. He looks dapper and has a bowtie and interesting eyeware. Georgina has her long hair down this week and Isaac greets the Final Eight with, "hello fairies!". I've never loved him more.

Snow White wearing Ken Red

Safe are Emily and Ken. They both did unicolored pant outfits with nice tailoring. That’s not going to get you anywhere with these judges...

Top:

 …cause the judges want to see tight pants 

..while Rapunzel is trapped in
an Asha red tower

and ruffles, like Asha’s look for Rapunzel. It is very red, Isaac loves the fabric(s) but Georgina finds them a little too shiny. The look is styled with flipfloppedy sandals that Brad hates and Isaac dies over – so unexpected! And yes, it was expected that Asha’s model would have to have long, long, hair, a very long braid down her back. It hit below her bum, and probably used up all of the extensions in the ____________ Hair Salon. (So much for product placement, I cannot for the life of me remember who the sponsor is this season)

Dom: I loved the funkiness of the fabric mixing and the urban coolness of the cut (tight pants and a long tummy-baring coat that was almost skirtlike) but when she explained the cut out panels on the back were negative space to represent Tink’s wings, I clapped so hard that other fairies came back to life.  

Kini’s tea party dress was a little costumey for Isaac but Mizrahi also said it made him feel like he was at a fashion show. Kesha says it’s like a fashion mullet. 

Bottom three:

Sam had the Little Mermaid and put her in white netting with sparkly sea-toned rectangles saving her modesty. It looked like I could not only have thought it up, but executed it. It also seems to have uneven sleeves. The crop top doesn’t go over well either  - earlier in the Sam-slagging someone pointed out that his too-simple design of crop top and pencil skirt was what got Stella sent home. Isaac is not amused and does not want to see anymore of these half shirts.

Layana forgets "Belle" means pretty

Layana who went from not liking her dress to loving it once the model slipped it on, explains that the Beast is taking his old lady to an Argentinean polo match. Not in that hideous yellow and pleated print mess, say the judges. Georgina notes a taste issue, and that the colors clash horribly. Kesha finds that "boring" – so not tacky enough?

Alexander’s Cinderella look was designated depressing and more of an evil stepmother look by Georgina, and the judges all agree that while to look is sophisticated – and I must say the model looked gorgeous - but old. 

Then the boys talk booty, with Brad saying snug assdesign is on trend, and this gown doesn’t have it, and

Alexander's challenge to lose

Isaac, agreeing with Brad for once this session, chiming in that the back is actually off-putting in its gathers, and PS, the neckline is cheap. Slumpy Kesha tells him to be nice.

The winner: shockingly (from the edit and from my POV) Asha.

And going home is Alexander. He initially takes it like a small punch to the gut, “damn!” he says, but has a nice goodbye in the lounge, and notes that he needs to reevaluate the youthfulness of his designs. Aww, bye Alexander!


what did you think?