Project Runway All Stars SE5 E09: "A Touch of Style"

Many things to discuss.

One thing this season seems to be doing very well is highlighting New York City. I've seen all of the previous incarnations of PR, and remember more than I'd like to admit. Where my high school French is hiding in my brain, no idea, but say "Viktor", or "the challenge with the stilts", or bring up the time the designers were sent to the worst fake restaurant and then ripped the furnishings apart for the unconventional challenge, I can call up these images. I think my nephew has green eyes, but that, I need to check. Sometimes NYC has played a significant role in an episode, sometimes it was shoehorned in, and one time the misguided location change to Los Angeles happened. Why did that seem, so off putting, aside from the reduced presence of Nina and Michael? Just did. But lesson learned, they moved back home and all was forgiven.

This season just seems to be hitting some lovely New York notes, like visiting the Alvin Ailey studios and today, going to Coney Island. I think we went there before, also for an unconventional, but this time they visit the ballpark home of the Brooklyn Cyclones. Nothing more charming than minor league baseball, and a lovely location, good spirits and a tie in with Alyssa's very well known line of "athleisure wear" make it a nice start.

Ath--what?

Athleisure wear, the new business casual. Is this a thing? Not only a thing, we will be told later by Zanna Rossi Roberts, but one of the biggest trends at the moment. Oh now I feel stupid. In fact, I might even be participating in this trend as I type this, without knowing that for once, I am fashion forward. Let me check...  nope Couch Casual seems to be my style tonight. But it's the NEXT big thing and you heard it here first. I am the Olivia Pope of wine drinking ensembles.

So the remaining seven put away their meager hopes of this being a day for fun and rides and go into the green and sunny field where they meet not only Alyssa, but their models.

A note on that before I forget - notice the models have switched up almost if not every week? I haven't been paying close attention to many but the odd-looking in real life blonde African American girl (my apologies if that is not her background) and the impossibly willowy dark skinned goddess with the beauty mark on her upper lip stand out. I recall she was Kini's "Alice Through the Looking Glass", and that girl can WALK. Alexander was sent home last week for his Cinderella, but his model stood out with her cute short hair and flawless - as flawless as a sent home look can be - styling by HBM and the hair guy. Tonight, she'll walk for Sam, so she didn't get cut. Surely having constant models for each designer is a nice way to make it easier, a streamlining concession for time? I shall go back and see who has been switched up, but I'm sure Odd Blonde has walked for a few of the gang.

Touch this

Alyssa has a fashion line - who knew?  - called Touch, and a quick search shows she also has the domain Alyssa.com. Well played, Milano. She tells the designers that she came upon this idea when she went to the merch store at a game and could find nothing feminine (used to be so true, thank you for the girl cut tees, manufacturers) or fashion forward (err, not the point of a Red Sox jersey, Alyssa). So she got to work designing and now she shows off the models wearing... basic cotton blend looking tees and casual pants. Really, it looked like Lands End on a good day. So without confessing that her line needs help, Alyssa tells them to got into the athleisure trend and the winning design will feature in her line.

Later on the runway she will clarify, the winning design will be MODIFIED and mass produced for sale on her site and wherever else her stuff is hawked. Now I'm not in the US, so maybe it is omnipresnt at boutiques or Nordstrom's or, err, Kohl's? You tell me. But she could use some pizazz if this what she has to show.

Get sketching.

Asha has the clever idea to making a skirt that looks like a baseball jersey wrapped around the waist, and a top playing on a sports bra;  Ken is going hoodie with red and black piping – it’s someone’s team colors, he muses - Layana is up for this and goes big with multiple-pieced textured leggings as the main attraction; Emily is doing cool urban white; Dom is doing a Jil Sander ish dress (okay, hmmm, a dress) with a detachable skirt that goes from maxi to knee length, and Kini is doing a cool swing coat over jeans, the coat color-blocked with white mesh, and speaking of mesh, Sam is going to do a cheerleader-style skirt that his sketch shows is not cheerleader at all, and it’s a dress, and he’s using the same mermaid in a net fabric that he used last week and Kini is using this week. Kini who may or may not have thought of that before he chose his textiles, confesses, maybe I’ll show him how it’s done.

The Producers salivate in the background.

 

Zanna visits - will she be impressed

ermmm... not really? 

Zanna’s critiques, on the other hand, do cause some panic. After announcing that this a trendy trend, she has to, bless her, sort of finetune it for the seven, pointing out that athleisure should go from casual rah rah go team to out for the evening. In this case, it must be runway ready. She doesn't like Emily's cowl neckline, ok, I get that. She loves Dom's futuristic looking man dress, not sure I get that (for this challenge), she spins Sam's dress form to show a flirty dress that is mesh over... something (Neoprene?) in the front and almost all black lace in the back. Two different outfits, she says. Does she add, and neither of them would be ATH or Leisure? FFS, lace? Sam, btw, is the cast's and his own fave for this challenge. This is his dojo and he is throwing stars.

We shall see.

Zanna's worried that both Kini and Layana are leaning too “sporty” and less athleisure, a hard to evaluate distinction til she mentions, this shouldn't go to the gym. That does seem to clear it up, the ATH in athleisure isn't the wearer, this girl is watching not participating. Okay, useful advice. Layana's legging are not a concern for her, or her admiring codesigners, they would never go to Zumba. Ken has little to show ZRR, so she prods him to work hard, and off she goes.

Look who's back

As the night goes on, Formerly Angry Ken, as I was prepared to rename him, skips back into his old ways. Kind of. Ken has his idea in place, but not the constructed piece, so he can't fit his model. He seems a bit tense for a while but it builds up and then takes an incorrectly sewn shoulder seam, a silly but harmless mistake if you have a lot of time, to set him off.

A recurring theme in these recaps has been, will, and if so when, will we see the old Ken. Now, I don't mind a bit of snarkiness, and Ken has been involved in the Kini/Sam drama as mostly an observer, but Ken's rage on his original season was scary. As in, I felt equally scared for him as well as the people he was engaging with. What was going on beneath the tuxedo tattoo? His triggers were hard to predict and he seethed with hate and anger that could not be good for him. So back to this week and here it comes as Ken tosses his hoodie to the table and says he has had it. He storms out.

Except, he doesn't really lose it. Lose it in a fed up, tired tired tired, can't do this any more, freak out way. Yes. He walks out, past startled floor runners in the hallway, and, followed by cameras, out to the street, where he hails a cab wearing sunglasses at night. So he can, so he can, watch the pressure cooking in the rear view mirror and get away from all of this nonsense.

But let's talk about what he didn't do. He didn't yell, he didn't blame anyone or pick a fight, he didn't give nasty parting words, he just said, I'm done, and left.

End of. And considering his past responses to pressure, this was controlled and within the parameters of what we might do. Sometimes I wonder why more of the various cast members don't, with the lack of sleep, etc. For this guy, I suspect he has gotten some help with his issues, and surely Lifetime wouldn't have him back if he hadn't. So good for Ken. Not good that he left, but the way he handled it.

Ken is ferrrrustated, and gets the hell out.

But is he gone for good?

The designers are stunned, but, hey work to be done so on they go, Layana sewing endless bright blue pieces together for her possibly kick ass leggings and Sam revising his not-for-this-challenge look into something better but also not right.

The next morning, no Ken. In All Stars we don't get to see much if any hotel time, so what was said? Does he room with Sam and Kini? Did he go elsewhere to sleep?

Ken then reappears, a new man. New ish. He brushes away the concerns he receives in a friendly way and goes back to his look. Fast. He does note that the others were about to pick over his remaining fabrics, and I think gives Layana some leather he isn't using. Who (aside from Stella) would have time to sew leather at this point? He's good with his look, does a last-minute addition of black pockets, and seems at peace. Not Dalai Lama peace, but for Ken, content.

Sam has finished his changes and Layana, finally done with the leggings, changes up her top into something fancier. A plain white shirt won't do.

Runway Time

Guest judge this week is Kristin Cavallari, who designs something or other as it seems everyone from a successful docu-soap does, and who spends a lot of time at games as she is married to Bears QB Jay Cutler. She seems nice and young-matronly. Isaac is dressed in his knitting circle casual to suit the theme and does a sheepish "go team" to the group. Not the "hello fairies" from last week but cute.


Safe: Emily. Remember, she has won one, but she always seems safe, although her designs are anything but.

 

Swingy and smart from the back, too

Tops: Kini, Dom and Sam? Asha?
Bottoms: Layana, Ken and Sam? Asha? Bit of a split on those two. Asha's too literal and Georgina doesn't like the buttons down the front of the skirt, but it is pointed out to her that baseball jerseys do have those visible buttons. It does look sloppy though.

Sam gets undeserved praise for putting a girl in a lacy dress. Someone did point out that Sam will likely suck up to Isaac by using flats. Well, it worked. I think I'd like this dress if the challenge was sightseeing in Paris, maybe? But this is too dressy, too cutesy, too much

Winner, Kini for his awesome coat. The judges even liked the length of his basic jeans.

Two good things that didn't go together.

Loser: Layana. The cool last minute top she made did not go with her leggings, style or color-wise, so taste issues and being on the bottom forever caught up with the sweet Brazilian.

Project Runway All-Stars S3 E9 : "Fashion Cents" 

Good people, we now pause, put down our shears, our remotes, our lacy fans, and remember for a moment our fallen comrades. The Project Runway game is a tough'n, and the hardest and most painful part of the course is that last challenge, not getting eliminated before Fashion Week/the Final Collections.

So we fondly remember the two designers that fell at the final hurdle, Kenley Collins, charm school graduate and lone wolf, who couldn't line up a print at the seams, and Joshua McKinley, who interpreted couture as heavy black lace and twee pop-bright flowers. So, so close to a return trip to the final runway, they would soon be joined by another designer that tasted the nectar of Bryant Park/reasonable facsimile, only to have the second sip rudely taken away.

But who would it be? We are left with Seth Aaron, Pansear, Korto and Elena, the only remaining designer who has not made the finals before. Since we are fiercely stomping down memory lane, I'll remind you that Elena landed in 6th place in a season that was deservedly won by her nemesis, the Boris to her Natasha, Dmitry.

But that was then and this is now, and in fashion, I once heard, one day you are in and the next day you are out. I did not, however, hear this from our current host, Alyssa Milano, who prefers to start her runway days off with some light gushing over guest judges, some contractually obligated declarations of Georgina's beauty and telling the safely seated designers to "break a leg".

But all of that for later, as we kick off this episode with the announcement of the challenge, that Pansear confidentially whispers to us that he'd like to win. Alyssa comes out to taunt SA about his lack of challenge wins, wearing a messy co-ed ponytail and a quasi-retro Rosemary Clooney-does-the-walk-of-shame-from-Sinatra's-house all white ensemble, with souvenir shack up-prize man's bowtie slung about her neck.

She tells the designers that since last week they came face-to-face with real customers (referencing the grounded-in-reality bloggers whose makeup-application skills landed them a guest-spot on PR:AS), this week they are going to dip their beringed toes into the pond of ready-to-wear sales. The final four nod and all make the appropriately polite noises of people who have been earning their crust doing just that for a combined 20+ years but are too nice to say anything. They will be designing a sellable, price-controlled look for the NY-produced fashion house Milly, with the proceeds from the sales going to "Save the Garment District".

The producers have done this challenge for each of the PR:AS seasons and I think it is my favorite. Instead of flights of fancy at Mood, we get the strict, real-life limitations of working with certain custom fabrics, design ethos and most-importantly, price points. In this episode we don't get shown quite the amount of detail about things like, for example, exactly how much trim one is allowed to use (okay that's one quarter yard of purple rick-rack at 16.99 per yard... divide by four... carry the two...) but again we see the compromise that comes with having to work within "perimeters", as Korto calls them: to use chosen Milly fabrics, fulfil the brief of "urban tribal, feminine with an edge", keep it under 400 dollars retail, and get it all approved by the Milly president and Phil Mickelson golf buddy, Andrew Oshrin.

Elena and Pansear are told that if they stick to their designs, they will make the price point and are approved. SA is told to use a less expensive zipper, which he is happy about in that it does not compromise his vision, but Korto is called out for choosing matching (clashing) expensive fabrics in a pastel tribal print and wanting to use a lot of it to create her maxi-dress. As she puts it, she has champagne tastes and lemonade pockets. She doesn't mention that she has similar-looking designs featured on her website, with abundant fabric in the skirt, that she retails for 320 dollars (on sale for 260). So, she knows this design could be done, but remains committed to the more expensive tribal chiffon and cuts a few inches off of her look to get signed off from Oshrin.

In the workroom she cuts very carefully, using every inch to squeeze out a racer-back almost-maxi. Elena goes for white leather, white raw-edged mesh, and yellow neon, which she describes as her "favorite color" - neon, that is, not yellow. Note: my favourite color is plaid. Seth Aaron is also using the white mesh, some black and some color to make a sleeveless girly dress, and Pansear goes for a vegan leather, tight black and white dress, with a sarong skirt.

And here's where all of those rules, rules, man! start to pinch. As Korto measures thrice before cutting once and keeps Oshrin's words of wisdom in her head, Pansear starts to go slightly off the reservation, making changes -- he muses on making his dress into separates and using a second zipper. Uncle Seth tries to set our boy straight, pointing out the added costs of additional hardware. Elena concurs, so Pansear starts thinking of tweaking the design. Now before you think that Elena is all commonsense this week, she dispenses advice and then starts a second dress of her own with different, less elephant-eared sleeves. Auntie Korto doesn't like this. Do you know who also changed their design from the pre-approved one? Kenley, and we all know how that turned out. Glinda the Good floats in to check on the designers, with Milly's own Michelle Smith in tow, and they confirm all of this-- stick to what was approved, and all shall be well in the kingdom.

Runway time.

Judges:

Alyssa is happy to tell us that The Beautiful Georgina Chapman® is back, and if we were wondering where she had gone (and our thoughts didn't drift off to the horrific idea of her at home in bed with Harvey Weinstein), we get one of those awkward "added in post production" sales things about her new perfume or something. Isaac is there, of course, and the guest judges:

Winner of all of our hearts, the delighted and delightful head on a stick, Kristin Chenoweth

Actor, host, comedian and rapper, now "with his own line of male accessories", which is appropriate because he himself is one, Nick Cannon.

Worldwide cult-leader owner of a label that has a "world-wide cult following", Michelle Smith.


The Looks:

Seth Aaron - Very graphic with a black and white chevroned top with a neon-coral grosgrain trim down the front and a flared circle skirt in white with black trim. He also customized his model's shoes, making a patterned ankle strap out of fabric. There is a lot going on, and not only is the level of "tribal" debatable, but the judges are split on loving or hating the neon accent, but all in all they like it a lot, I like it a lot and SA gets his first win of the season.

Elena - again, not so tribal, unless you come from a frozen planet of big-shouldered women, ruled by Robert Palmer's soul and lost in a time vortex of the 1980s and 2080s . The judges love her big swirly-sleeved, white leather/mesh/neoprene (if it was there at Milly, she found it) laid over the screaming yellow neon in a way that tones it down to a muted chartreuse. Like SA's look,  there is a zipper running up the front, but Georgina feels Elena's is a little forced and would have preferred a matte white zipper over the silver. This dress is so, so tight that I found myself imagining how little fabric was required to cover the model's torso, but this gets Elena into the finale.

Pansear - A black and white vegan leather (that term inexplicably makes me laugh) hard warrior dress that softens up with a semi-attached tribal-print sarong skirt in silk georgette. As complicated as this is - it counts as one piece. The judges don't like the fact that the top doesn't lie smoothly on the model's chest (it's not meant to), and Georgina just doesn't know "who" Christopher is, but I think this is a brief-fulfilling dress that makes good use of Michelle's print, and I really like it on Christopher's redheaded model.

Korto - She managed to get enough fabric to make it neither maxi nor mini, and it is a striking combo of prints that she has chosen. Mr. MediaGrrl hated the prints both alone and put together. I liked them separately, but felt together (one print belts the other) they started to look busy. The dress doesn't do any favors for the model's front, but looks sharp from the back. Not bad at all, but is this enough to keep Korto in the running?

 

Yes. Yes and no. After SA and Elena are sent off to the greenroom, the deadlocked judges pull out an old-fashioned All Star sew-off. Korto and Pansear are givin three of their previous ensembles to gut and reassemble, in a hour, right there on the runway, while a fidgety SA and Elena unknowingly wait. Korto's new look, her Bonnie and Clyde challenge pants edited into a skirt, paired with a drapey top, seems like a new look, and is stylish. Pansear makes a Frankendress out of his shredded fabric gown, Georgina describes it as "pretty" and the judges pretend to like more than they do.

Doing nothing to improve his usual slightly put-upon demeanor, Pansear is out.

Well guys, Julius should be back for next week, taking you through the big Finale, where once again the PR:All Stars production team tries to make the United Nations relevant to fashion. Come on, people, that hasn't worked since Benetton.

I look forward to your comments!

--Martina

Stray Observations:

- Nick Cannon brings up what I've pointed out before -  want to impress the female judges? Sneak pockets into your design.

- Seth Aaron, can you make this look retail for under 400 AND pay tribute to a fallen comrade at the same time?  SNAP!  "done!" SA is the new VL.

- Is color-blocking "in the seams" different from just color-blocking? Isn't that easier anyway? Someone call Mila and ask.

- Elena wears a LBD tank dress to the runway, and girl has got the body for it.

- In looking up who were the 4th place finishers in the All Star seasons (okay, I did know that by heart but wanted to see who else was involved), I noticed that only five people did better the second time around. Mondo, obviously, and also Austin Scarlett (4th to Runner Up), Michael Costello (an emotional 4th to 3rd), Casanova (10th to 7th) and Ivy Higa (8th to 5th).

- "when I got close, did I see... nipple?" asks Alyssa hopefully.

- Remember the All-Star Challenge? The precursor to PR:AS, it was a two hour, one challenge special that saw a miserable Korto complain about coming in second again, first to LeeAnn Marshall, then to Daniel Vosivic. Next week should be interesting.

-Nick Cannon's favorite part of the dress? "the easy access"

 

 

Project Runway All-Stars S3 E8 : "Nina's Trending" 

In fashion, it's not about following the trends, it is about setting them. This week, our intrepid designers are asked to look into their Swarovski crystal balls and design a garment that will capture what is new and happening next year. As the last challenge resulted in a gown that will be sold next year, we could say that they have already ticked this box (surely we will all be wearing Korto's taupe and orange post-Sochi?)

Now, few people would say that I, MediaGrrl, am a fashion trendsetter, but what do you know, here comes Alyssa wearing a blouse and denim skirt combo I wore to many a Chicago bar in the late 90s, showing all the world not only her tasteful, ladylike side, but also the reason I went home alone most nights.  Alyssa wants to know how this thing we call All Stars compares to their own seasons. If she wanted some behind the scenes dirt or even amusing whining, she gets nothing. The designers mumble something about, well, you know, it not being the first time. its actually easier, so...

Enough! Challenge time! Who better then to be the hand-feeder of the details, and guest judge, but the arbiter of style and questioner of taste levels, Nina Garcia. Yay, Nina's back. Now, judging the final looks is a deadly serious business, but this handing out the assignment - not so much. No need to show up completely sober. Nina seems to have come from a three martini lunch (or, as they say on 30 Rock, she's business drunk), gives Alyssa a big hug (I really love you, Lyssa Merano), and tosses the chunks of challenge meat to the hungry design tigers.

Bloggers - the biggest influence in the fashion industry (note: surely it is tv recap bloggers?), the voice of the people, like Gretchen once proclaimed of herself, a force to be reckoned with, and the convenient satisfier of this year's "real women" challenge. PR:AS has flown in five of the best from all over the  world. Sort of like the A-Team, if everyone was Faceman and BA was not a chronic over-accessorizer. See, in a weird twist, all of them are gorgeous. No lumpy bridesmaid or dumpy mother to tent up this season. Extensions glued in and glottal frys set to "psyched", one aspiring Garcianista will jet off to Belgium with Nina to shoot a video with the winning look. This will not appear in or on Marie Claire, oh no, but on the front page of a fashion blog-blog called Style Hall, an agreement Nina clearly inked after the fourth on-an-empty-stomach cocktail, and let's just say, it is a good thing Joanna Coles isn't around to see this moonlighting. You might remember, Joanna had the power to crush Nina like a little bug, but now she is off supervising astrology-based sex quizzes and staring down interns for the gals at Cosmo.

Pantone is sponsoring this challenge, even putting up the winners at the Pantone hotel (who knew) to publicize the color of the year, 2014, which is.... no, not black, Elena... Radiant Orchid! Write that one down for the next time you shop, Radiant Orchid. What Pottery Barn sage green and my short denim skirts were to the 90s, Radiant Orchid will be to the nows. Or the almost nows.

The designers return to the workroom and select their bloggers. Korto goes with Carli from New Jersey. Christopher gets Fleur from London, the one in England, whom he describes as having an easy, breezy (catches himself dangerously close to Maybelline territory) natural beauty. Seth Aaron takes Gigi from Toronto because he feels she has ADD, like him, and she is lively and stunning and the tallest of the bunch. Elena and Viktor take the interchangeable Dulce from Los Angeles, and Jarmaine, who is also from Los Angeles. Weird - what are the odds that two mermaid-haired brunettes in the greater LA area would have the inclination to create blogs devoted to putting on makeup, showing off makeup and scoring free makeup (JlovesMAC, anyone?) and lure in innocent designers by appearing adorably in the shower and asking sexually charged questions like: "do you remember this vest of mine?"  Yeah you do, Zinger. Yeah you do.

So our remaining five come up (now) with a trend prediction (future) that features a color that Pantone has decided (now) will be the color of the (future).  If you follow.

The Runway:

Zinger forecasts: creating your own textile

In a last minute change of plan, he creates a 50s flirty circle-skirted dress in black Neoprene over the Radial Ochre. To mix it up, he adds a great looking white biker jacket, with a zipper in matching RO. Cute look. Zinger says the jacket is "a staple from the 50s but I feels that in 2014 is not going to changes" .  What does that even mean?  I think... I may have caught what Nina has.

Nina calls him out for being too soon, and Isaac underlines the fact that she is 100% right. Bottom three.

Elena forecasts:  creating your own (heavy) textile

This is styled like a catalog look, one where the bottom or inner garments are completely plain, so they fade into the background and showcase the item for sale. Here we get a nondescript black skirt paired with the featured item, a big, collarless jacket that is appliqued (?) with geometric stripes. I can't make my mind up on the tweedy, beribboned, peplumed  jacket. I know I don't care for it on the model, who is vertically challenged.  Part of me likes the originality of it and the combo of colors, part of me thinks it belongs at a fundraising tea. Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch. (I'll drink to that, Nina.) Elena doesn't quite get the idea that a peplum cuts her tiny blogger in half, but she does rock lipstick in the color of the year, Radon Oprah. 

Seth Aaron forecasts:  color blocked seams in a "British-flag inspired" dress

I almost always like SA's looks, and this is no exception. He also receives props from Nina for the best use of the color, but the dress, while beautiful, flawlessly made and wearable, even for the everyday woman or person without curves, like Gigi, it doesn't have quite the wow SA is capable of.

Korto forecasts:  no color

This is a great look. Crisp clean white, nicely cut vest top with almost a fan-pleated effect, lined in Redundant Orca. We can question the shoes and the clutch (both cool, but perhaps not with this look) but this is the clear winner.

Pansear forecasts: Near-vintage-Paris-soft-military

As with most Christopher creations, his sketch was so much better than the finished product. The color choice takes the original idea from a bright teal green, which popped against the RO, to a faded olive, which simply clashes. The lace overlay looks forced, and his description of "soft military" seems to come from not being able to find the cloth he wanted at Mood. Nina no likey. It does bring us to this odd exchange:

Nina: it looks like seaweed that has come out of the swamp.

Pansear: Thank you.

Nina: That's not a compliment

Pansear: I didn't take it as one.

The judges scramble to find any sort of competition to give us drama for the 1st place prize, but we all know it will be Korto's blogger flying off to Belgium to eat Panetone, use Pantene, stay at the Pantone hotel.

Viktor is sent to pack his fans. All Stars has lost its zing.

Stray Observations:

Alyssa Milano could play the co-lead in of How I Met Your Mother's Sister

In watching the opening credits, I had forgotten Daniel was on the show

Elena  is pissed that everyone is stealing her Neoprene fashion ideas

Alyssa  shows why she was the go-to under 12 actress for Movies of the Week about divorce: "Nina, can you stay for always?"

Christian Soriano is correct: over-design is a tough sell

Korto's girl predicted a victory "in the name of Jesus, Amen." Take that, panel of judges.

Project Runway All-Stars S3 E7 : "As Sewn on TV"

Hello Runaways,

You might know me as MediaGrrl in the comments section, but for the first time, I'm filling in for the wonderful Julius as he is off opening his one man revival show, Christian? Sorry? Oh, no!  I will do my best to keep the Project Runaways mood of serious frivolity going, and I look forward to your comments as well. On to the recap we go!

This week is brought to you by the letters Q, V and C, who are sponsoring The Wall this season. Please use it thoughtfully, or not, as Tim is not here to remind us.

This episode starts with a bang-- no shots of sleepy designers waking up to the site of a grizzled cameraman from IATSE Local 600 hovering over their twin beds this season. Instead we are at a helicopter pad, somewhere adjacent to Manhattan. Alyssa is there to tell the final six that they will be designing something for QVC and they're going to meet the famous Lisa Robertson, program host (for hours of QVC sales are called "programs", not streams of endless pitches of a overly caffeinated auctioneers. It's less wordy.) and "Style Authority," a title that sounds both dubious and menacing.

The designers have yet to put two and two together to understand why they are standing in front of helicopters-- as no one really knows where the Batcave QVC HQ is located, they don't realize they will be crossing state lines to visit Westchester, Pennysylvania. I assume this quiet berg of 18,000, home to Dave Barry and coach Muffet McGraw, has rarely incited squeals on the level of Elena's excitement, nor been host to an off-her-meds Ukrainian neon enthusiast and a crew this motley.  Bubbly Elena and the girls get in and away they go. Irina is pleased!

The men also load in to their helicopter, and as you've seen a million times in dude movies like Black Hawn Down and Blue Thunder, they immediately begin putting makeup on. We also get a fan-flick and a bon mot or two from Zinger, who is acting like his normal hilarious and in-need-of-air self. Please note that. He's just fine and dandy at this stage.

The designers arrive at QVC and enter a cavernous, clean lobby that looks like a smart hotel that would be attached to an airport in the 1970s. They look with wonder at the pale marble and oooh over the flatscreens showing the International versions of QVC. We even get a not-at-all forced soundbite from Seth Aaron, marvelling at the fact that QVC is on in, like, Germany. Way to sell it, crew.

Uh, oh, is that Lee Meriwether descending the staircase from the Delta Sky Lounge? Nope, it is Lisa Robertson, product of the pageant system, winner of the cheekbone lottery and a student of the "chin on the chest shows gravitas" school of media training. She informs us that she is lucky enough to reveal this week's challenge - designing a gown for she herself  to wear at (or near, or around, or close to, or while at home thinking about) the QVC Oscars-related "star-studded gala", where she will be working the red carpet. She mentions this is a live broadcast, so please, no designs that must be touched up in post-production or CGI'd in later. This gown must also look good in photographs, and later we'll see that this is part of the judging, one of those parts that the judges seem to ignore if it doesn't go along with their auf'ing plans.

As I had never heard of the barnacle to the Oscars boat that is the "Star-Studded QVC Live Broadcast", I checked the roster of "A listers" from last year. They had Jennifer Hudson, fair enough, and her personal career cautionary tale, Marisa Tomei, the ubiquitous Lisa Rinna, an always-welcome dash of Jane Seymour and an up and coming model from Germany, one Miss Heidi Klum, if I'm spelling that right. Pretty girl, I assume she was just happy to have been invited.

Lisa Robertson is not just a Style Authority, she is a damn good tour guide, showing off the studios and inviting them to try their hands at on-camera (but not live, thank goodness) program hosting. She forgets to point out her chin technique, as if they'd master that in a day. I must agree with the giddy, hairflipping, nervous Elena, "It's not as easy as it looks". Nope, and that is why we have laboratories that create lisarobertsonbots. The six are then led into Isaac Mizrahi's own studio, which Seth Aaron claims that they all recognize, ya know, from watching it on QVC. Barring a hospital stay, the only person less likely than Seth Aaron to watch QVC is Isaac himself, who pops in to say hello, in a shot that seems like a third take ("that's great, Isaac, can we just do one more shot of you entering, more excitement this time, have fun with it").

The designers sit and sketch, captured by the smooth tracking shots and brighter lighting that give these past few episodes a different, more stylish and less rough reality show feel.

We see Lisa will have a wide variety of looks to choose from:

Pansear is thinking semi-strapless, fitted, a mermaid shape.

Viktor is going form fitting, stylish, flared out at the bottom in a mermaid silhouette.

Irina is taking Isaac's advice to go dramatic and "pull out all of the stops", and so to differentiate herself, designs an almost bridal look, assuming the bride wanted a strapless, fitted, mermaid gown. 

So lots of options for Lisa.

It is then the next day, and we can tell that as everyone has changed clothes:  Elena has reapplied eyeliner over yesterday's, and Viktor has changed into a yellow polo shirt. What - a yellow polo? No costumey corduroy bowtie and kid's birthday hat? How mundane. Is there something wrong with little Zinger? No, he seems fine, but stay tuned, gentle reader! After a trip to Mood, the remaining six have about 11 hours to pull off a gown. "A GOWN", frets Pansear, blocking out the fact that he has done at least three gowns this season. He decides to whip out his fabric feathering technique, which the judges loved during his season.

Irina is also fretting, as she has concerns about completing her complicated design in the allotted time. No one made you put 18 panels into your dress, Irina. Still, she has always been an efficient worker, so surely she can whip up all of those seams, perfectly, then top stitch each, and add boning, and reinforce the skirt, and then applique her dress before deadline? I am tired just typing all of that, but godspeed Irina. She doesn't seem pleased.

And in a constant state of fret-itude is Elena, or Pikachu, as Viktor calls her, who confesses that she is worried that she doesn't "know the techniques for evening wear" (also should be noted, she made a silky smooth red gown last week that looked very evening),and speaks for the audience when she wonders aloud if she will freak out. Is it better or worse, mental heath-wise, if she is aware that she is losing her marbles during challenges?

But Elena will only have a supporting role in today's big story, for, noticing the vaccuum of drama and sensing there is airtime up for grabs, Viktor takes a turn for the sad. Is something wrong with Zinger? Has he lost his... zing? The first and biggest clue that a Big Moment is coming is the postprodution insertion of Lifetime's Emotional Confession Music. The camer a captures a sigh as he cuts fabric. Zinger, with brow delicately furrowed, claims that he has something on his mind, a thing that has been bothering him so much, something that makes him afraid of how other people will treat him, and he needs to talk about it, confess it to the world, because he just "wants to be free".

Oh the drama! Mr. MediaGrrl and I paused the tv-- intrigued. What was it? What was troubling our hero? What had he done? Had he killed a hobo? Worn white after Labor Day?

We would find out along with Zinger's two closest friends, Elena and... Seth Aaron? who knew?, whom he thoughtfully interrupts as they diligently work to finish their complex red carpet gowns. Zinger steers them into the break room, takes a deep breath and -- and Elena, jumping out of her skin, shrieks "what the fuck, dude, tell me what's wrong!"

Mr. MediaGrrl had guessed testicular cancer. I had guessed bankruptcy. Turns out, Viktor is HIV positive. He has known for ages, but only his partner has been told. His family will possibly find out on tv. Dare I say Elena and Seth Aaron look relieved? Editorially, I want to add, what a good place to be in, from a public health standpoint, when HIV positive status, while not great, is not received as a death sentence. I remember the 80s, when not only my crush Mark Harmon's sexy doctor character on St. Elsewhere was dealt that card, and that meant he was a goner, but in the years that followed many people I knew in what we call "real life" were affected. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. HIV is not, then or now.

So, back to Viktor's big reveal. His friends, mulling over this news, must not have given Zinger the gasp, the snap of the fan, if you will, that he was looking for, so he mewls "I just didn't want you to treat me differently", and looks sad, forcing them to get up and defend their respect and fondness for him with hugs. Elena even offers a backrub. Manipulative little so-and-so. Seriously, I do not get the motivation for the timing of this kind of announcement, especially when we see who is sitting on the judging panel this week.

The mood is immediately lightened by a glistening pink bubble that floats in and bursts to reveal Glinda, the GiggleWitch of the South, aka Zanna Roberts Rassi, here to shut down the design munchkins with a lilt in her voice and a shake of her blonde curls. Today Glinda has forsaken her sparkly gown for a matchy two- piece flowered outfit that wouldn't  look out of place at an English gardening club meeting. She gets right to work dispensing advice, some of it good (Korto's orange ruffles look cheap, Irina's is too bridal) some bad (tells Pansear "keep adding" to his look) and some intriguing (people do not like green). She is not very pleased with what she sees.

Runway Day:

The models march in wearing matching black tanks, as Korto gives us the Freak Out Update. She's freaking out because after viewing her test photos, she sees her orange super-gathered dress is a neon mess, and starts over completely. According to Korto, Christopher's freaking out, Viktor's freaking out, Irina is ice cold, Elena, duh, and Seth Aaron is running around like crazy. She herself, well, girl is "twisted", which I think is the DefCon 5 of freak outs.

Irina should be worried - in putting the dress over her model's head, she experiences the first of quite a few rips of the 18 pieces of delicate fabric she has worked so hard to piece together. Zinger thinks that this may be due to her stiffening the fabric with buckram, a cotton which is used a lot in hat making. He says it can tear easily. Irina is not pleased. Aside from that, and some ass-measurement issues from Pansear and Elena, we are off to the runway.

Judges:

Sitting next to Isaac today in place of The Beautiful Georgina Chapman® is Mondo Guerra. You might remember him from his tearful HIV positive confession during Season 8, the one that seemed organic, real and heartfelt. Also, you might recall that he wore crazy little outfits that included shorts with suspenders, pins and necklaces, a style that that seemed organic, (sur)real and heartfelt. Mondo is his own man. Viktor is not.

When Mondo's name is mentioned by Alyssa, there is a quick cut to Viktor, who looks down. Wild coincidence that Mondo is visiting this week?

Lisa Robertson is there, natch, and the end chair is occupied by the lovely Elisabeth Moss, one of the "greatest acting  talents of her generation", according to the lovely actress Alyssa Milano, who, despite what you think of Charmed,  is not.

Runway:

Pansear:  I love midnight blue and black together, but damn does this dress have a lot going on. Feathered technique on a fabric that has a tiny bit of sparkle, leather trim on the boobs and a full leather shoulder piece, a belt and a poofy tulle train. The ethereal model doesn't sell it so much, and during judging, standing still, the dress makes her boobs look like Good  'n Plentys, but somehow it all comes together.

Zinger:  Who doesn't love olive green? Guest judge Elisabeth Moss, as it happens. I like it on redheads and ashey blondes like Viktor's model, but the color is not the biggest problem here, it's the gores and the ruffles and the fins and the train. This dress is busier than a tornado at a trailer park, a theme carried through by the model's messy styling. It's okay. Not for anyone above a size two, or with Lisa's fantastic figure.

Seth Aaron:  Full disclosure here: much like Emilio Sosa  declared when he designed his own fabric, MediaGrrl  hearts Seth Aaron. From his positive attitude to his cool cartoon-y sketching style, excepting his current eyebrow situation, I just adore him, and I think Alyssa feels the same way. In fact, Seth seemed to give her quite the glance when she walked out tonight. Hmmm.  His sparkling, non strapless, non mermaid gown is one of my favourites, even with the Cadillac fin'd bum.

Korto:  There is a fine line between effortless and lazy, and Korto's is right there. Not sure how my buddy SA got knuckle-rapped for a basic drapey gown last week when Korto's maxidressey simple gown is seen as comfortable and flowy.  The skirt is made of various levels of left-over orange chiffon, and has pockets, which always get the female judges squealing. The top is made of taupe fabric, twisted into a sort of halter. I'm thinking that drab color will not look as nice on the pale skinned QVC host as it does on Korto's darker-skinned model,  and I predict it will be changed when the actual dress is made.

Elena:  She's gone all Patricia and made her own textile, black overlaid onto purplish brocade, cut out to create an effect of scales. It's cool. The judges seem to have more of a problem with the design of the dress than the fabric, pointing out the "dowdy" bateau neckline and some weird seaming in the back. Elena's warming up for her self-predicted meltdown, not thrilled with her dress, saying "I'm just praying that the judges don't execute me for it". That says a lot about design school discipline in the Ukraine.

Irina:  a gown for the perfectly postured, impossibly thin, showin' off the A-cups bride who will be married in a church with no steps and no modesty code. The mermaid skirt maintains its stiffness and does look beautiful, but I found the faux-leather and pearl flower appliques strewn about it a little heavy-handed. The model can't quite make it on and off of the runway without giving us another nice rip.  Of the dress, I mean.

Personalities abound and opinions differ on the runway tonight.

By the time all of the models are brought out for the judging, the seam split has grown to about 6 inches. Irina is not pleased. Isaac is blaming the fabric, Irina is blaming te model, and as she is questioned about this catastrophe, Irina softly snarls, "yeah, she RIPPED it". Her model does not have the mobility to kick her for this.

Seth Aaron announces, without prompting, that "he is back!" which delights Alyssa, annoys Isaac and prompts a flirty "no, you are Schmoopie" back-and-forth with Elisabeth Moss on the merits of sparkle. (Turns out they both like it. Awwww.) Style Authority Lisa Robertson feels the gown is "too close to home" and by home she means where her vagina would be, if such a thing was allowed on QVC. Silly Lisa, lady parts are known around here as "the good china". It is agreed by the judging panel that the widening of one's bottom is not a good thing. SA is in the bottom three.

Isaac says Pansear "had him at navy tulle". I looked it up - thinking the Navy Tulle might be a military event that the two attended, and we were getting our second confession of the episode. Nope, he just loved the train, and Pansear's feathering technique, which, sadly, is also nothing sexual.

Zinger  gets shut down, multiple times, for his choice of color, by a blonder than I've seen her Elisabeth, who actually would look lovely in that shade. Alyssa says she's disappointed, she expects more of Viktor, and why can't he be more like Mondo? (Well, she doesn't go that far.) He is in the bottom three.

Elena's is called a "good dress", making her gasp and smile, but also "dowdy" and unflattering, making her have the sads. She's in the bottom three.

Korto's tangerine/cafe au lait concoction gets mostly positive reviews, "a fresh idea", "very wearable", with lone dissent coming from Lisa, who doubts the glamour factor will outshine Lisa Rinna and some leftovers from The Hills. In fact, for a moment Lisa is leaning towards the drama of Irina's structured gown, but is hip-checked into sanity by Elisabeth and Mondo. As I may have tipped off earlier, Korto is the winner, and Lisa will wear her dress. No way does that taupe stay taupe - we shall see.

But someone has to go home, and it comes down to Elena and Irina. Elena is terrified, and she wells up. Which will it be: a near miss that the designer didn't really sell to the judges, or a beautiful failure that was not completely suited to the occasion? If Elena goes, surely this is the meltdown we've been waiting all episode for...

Nah. Irina goes home, with the "no Heidi kiss kiss" send off seeming colder than usual. Although she says she would have liked to have won, we hear the sigh in her voice, and as she goes and cleans up her space, she makes it clear she doesn't really need this All-Stars business. Irina is not pleased.

I'll be with you again next week, and hope to have the recap up a little sooner.

- Martina

Stray Observations:

Isaac's perfume is called Fabulous. Was Divine taken?

"The bonus puts you in so many homes - it's an amazing prize," says Irina. ask Joan Rivers how much money she has made from QVC. So designers, would you rather be in front of millions of shopping housewives or be the toast of Paris Fashion Week?

Elena has never been on a helicopter. Or, one presumes, in one.

Viktor spreads his fabric on the floor to cut - this has always weirded me out when the designers do this. How clean is that floor?

Irina sure wore a lot more makeup, shorter skirts and higher heels during All-Stars. It brings to mind Althea and SweetPea, who both must have looked at their original seasons and thought they could do a little better in the styling department.

Apparently there was a rumor circulating that Lisa Robertson had died. She is the Abe Vigoda of tv shopping.